December 25, 2013
Movie Night: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Review #507: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Cast
John Call (Santa Claus), Leonard Hicks (Kimar), Vincent Beck (Voldar), Bill McCutcheon (Dropo), Victor Stiles (Billy), Donna Conforti (Betty), Chris Month (Bomar), Pia Zadora (Girmar), Leila Martin (Momar), Charles Renn (Hargo), and James Cahill (Rigna) Directed by Nicholas Webster.
Review
Back when I reviewed (#310) Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, I mentioned this particular film, saying only this: "In a way, I could be generous to this film [Home Alone 2] given that originally I was going to review Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but I backed out of sheer horror 15 minutes in". Yeah, I was being lazy last year, and Home Alone 2 was barely better. But anyways, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has become a cult classic ranging from being riffed on MST3K, to being made into a musical, to being novelized, all that for a 80 minute public domain film. So how is the actual film? Delightfully awful. I went into this film under the belief it would be horrendous, because why else is it always discussed under awful Christmas films? The acting isn't entirely awful, John Call makes for an interesting portrayal of Santa, I don't think I've had a movie with Santa in which he lets television crews into the North Pole, but I digress. McCutcheon isn't half bad, evoking some of the childlike quality that seems to make up Christmas. The film may be in color, but this is the prime example that color doesn't make a movie better. The film is easy to make fun of, either for its production values (or there lack of), the strange laughter scene, or the fact that Santa doesn't really conquer the Martians, he teaches them a lesson, but the point is that even with all that, the film is mostly watchable and short as well, and while there are other, better Christmas films around, this one is bad enough to work on a day like this. Movies I received as gifts this Christmas: Roman Holiday, Starman, Thunderbird 6, The Spy Who Loved Me, Tango and Cash, and Father of the Bride. Merry Christmas everyone.
Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.
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