Halloween: Resurrection.

Review #1286: Halloween: Resurrection.

Cast: 
Busta Rhymes (Freddie Harris), Bianca Kajlich (Sara Moyer), Thomas Ian Nicholas (Bill Woodlake), Ryan Merriman (Myles "Deckard" Barton), Sean Patrick Thomas (Rudy Grimes), Tyra Banks (Nora Winston), Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie Strode), Brad Loree (Michael Myers), Katee Sackhoff (Jennifer "Jen" Danzig), Daisy McCrackin (Donna Chang) Directed by Rick Rosenthal (#268 - Halloween II)

Review: 
"Ultimately, this is a Halloween product that only serves as a pale shadow of the original two films that should have served as the end for this series." Those are the words I said about Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998), which had the clearest way to defeat its main horror icon with a chop of an ax. So how does a sequel endure? (box office profits, really). Within the first five minutes of this film, it is explained that when Laurie had chopped Michael's head off, it was (get ready for this) actually not Michael in the mask, since he choked a paramedic and his larynx and had him put on the mask. It's nice to know that even in a mediocre Halloween film, its climax can still be shortchanged by some silly idea like its own sequel. It should only prove that Halloween is a scary time of year for horror films. This is especially true when it comes to horrifyingly bad films, as is the case here, which we should expect with a cliche title like Resurrection. Trust me, the shortchanging doesn't stop there, particularly with the end of the only living interesting character in this series in Curtis (who described the film as a joke, one that she was contractually obligated to do, for which she asked the character to be killed off) by the first 15 minutes. Maybe they really wanted to give a shock to the audience, but the only real scare is in how ridiculous everything turns out to be.

The characters are as cliche as they come, right down to the basic characteristics they all do. Yes, there really is a character that actually tries to apply "critical studies" theories to Michael. Guess how that works out. It isn't even worth the effort to call out the cliche things done here, because this is already ridiculous enough. Imagine casting someone slated to be the final survivor and they literally cannot scream. No joke, Kajlich had to be dubbed in post-production because she cannot actually scream. Nobody really delivers an interesting performance among the ones slated to participate in the "show", so one doesn't care all too much when they start dropping, which minimizes the tension.  Of course it also takes an hour before anybody watching might think that Michael might actually be in the house killing the contestants. If someone wanted to make a live internet horror film (complete with portable camera)s), perhaps it could've worked in making this franchise seem like it wants to do something different, as opposed to just changing the setting for where Michael hunts (which at least seems better than being at a boarding school, I guess). But the show within the film doesn't even seem that interesting to go with, what with the fake skeletons (in the midst of the shape already having killed some of the crew) and then a sequence of another person (take one guess) dressed up as Michael Myers. It is the funniest thing in the whole movie, for all the wrong reasons, where it takes the film into new lows on a horror level but raises the unintentional hilarity levels significantly. Actually, of all the people in this film, Rhymes is likely the one reason to watch this film. How many movies feature a kung-fu fight in fire? Plenty might exist, but none are as relentlessly silly as this turns out to be, which inspires plenty of snickers, particularly since this leads up to a lame cop out ending. Supposedly there were multiple endings considered, with one involving Myers popping out of a manhole and grabbing at someone. But I suppose they really needed to bait audiences further with Myers' eyes opening up suddenly. It didn't matter anyway, since despite the film making a profit (making over double its $13 million budget at the box office), a sequel did not come to pass. Instead, a remake was commissioned, done in 2007 (which was technically better). In the end, this is a movie that represents the last laugh of miserable sequels that does get one thing right: It's all being done for the money.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.