Foodfight!

Review #1766: Foodfight!

Cast: 

Charlie Sheen (Dex Dogtective), Wayne Brady (Daredevil Dan), Hilary Duff (Sunshine Goodness), Eva Longoria (Lady X / Priscilla), Larry Miller (Vlad Chocool), Christopher Lloyd (Mr. Clipboard), Robert Costanzo (Maximillus Moose), Chris Kattan (Polar Penguin), Ed Asner (Mr. Leonard), Jerry Stiller (General X), Christine Baranski (Hedda Shopper), Lawrence Kasanoff (Cheasel T. Weasel), Harvey Fierstein (Fat Cat Burglar), Cloris Leachman (Brand X Lunch Lady), Haylie Duff (Sweetcakes), Shelley Morrison (Lola Fruitola), and Edie McClurg (Mrs. Butterworth) Directed by Lawrence Kasanoff.

Review:

“We’ve got the movie, we’ve got the property, the place, the equipment, the talent, we’re there. Do we believe our next movie, Foodfight! is going to be a huge hit? Of course we do!”

Why don't we just do a whole review of short sentences that will sum up this film's sad history? I'll start: In development for a decade. Managed to lose the hard drive of assets that resulted in a restart. Directed by a guy who produced movies like Mortal Kombat while responsible for a Live Tour edition...with no other directing projects since. Managed to be sold off by debt collectors for at least $2.5 million after being made for roughly $45-60 million. Released in a theater for exactly one week in the United Kingdom, while everyone else "received" it on DVD or video-on-demand. Meant to aim for a cartoonish animation like the Looney Tunes shorts but ended up requiring motion capture animation (you thought The Polar Express was odd? Try this for ten minutes). A hodgepodge attempt at making a studio like Pixar with a cross between Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988) and Toy Story (1995). Kasanoff planned a variety of media to tie-in with the film, including an ice show. Made by a director who was described by his crew as "idiosyncratic" that thought animation is the only part of film production where quality is on the rise while costs are going down. Filled with an assortment of brand names for supporting characters. Manages to have worse (unfinished) animation than Hoodwinked! (2005). Made by Threshold Entertainment, whose next animation venture was Bobbleheads: The Movie (2020). Written by Sean Catherine Derek, Lawrence Kasanoff, Brent Friedman, Rebecca Swanson with a story by Joshua Wexler & Kasanoff (who also co-produced the movie).

Inept. Irritating. Incoherent. Inconceivable. Trainwreck. Embarrassment. Need I go on with one-word sentences? How much can one really say about this movie? The very idea of brand names as lead characters for a film is cynically embarrassing on its own, but the very fact that this is the most embarrassing animated film I have ever seen is the saddest thing about the whole experience. 91 minutes of pain, pure and simple. You can laugh at the animation, true. To an extent, you can also laugh at the inexplicable innuendo and crass attempts at humor presented here. But one just seems downright sad at recognizing the various voices present to be in such a travesty. Sheen being here isn't exactly a surprise, because I can equally believe he would stoop to something for a paycheck regardless if it was the mid 2000s or 2012, mostly because one has to breeze a middling collection of cliches and not clap their hands in anticipation. Brady is obviously better to view on television, as I think anybody who is familiar with the medium will tell you, because heaven help the next person to say that cartoon sidekicks are the best thing ever. Duff doesn't even have to try when she spends half of her time off screen, so there is that. There are no winners in the cast, but at least Longoria seems to have a go at playing sultry and adversary in the same length. The less said about Miller, the better. Lloyd obviously likes to keep busy with roles (because this was the same year as The Oogieloves movie), and since he only has a handful of lines to go with a character that is jerkily animated, it sure makes an amusing sight more than a performance. Pairing Kattan and Sheen for a gag is probably better than eating year-old brand cereal. Asner (rest in peace) has less lines than one would expect, because clearly more time needed to be on the market and not the bare attempts at whatever "Brand X" is supposed to do with "Marketopolis". Kasanoff playing a weasel is a sentence that writes itself. As a whole, you don't need 1,000 words to say that the movie has no fundamental story worth investing in, because you can also look at the movie and hear its crass jokes and puns that confirm what a colossal waste one could have here. This is one of the worst films made with a substantial budget and likely one of the all-time worst animated films ever made. Might be good if you take certain substances or if you want to know what not finishing all of your work looks like.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.

Next Time: Once more, because everyone deserves an eighth piece of awfulness. Fateful Findings.

Incidentally, if you ever find this review, check out this video someone made about the making of Foodfight! that provides more insight: ROTTEN: Behind the Foodfight

Hairspray.

Review #1487: Hairspray.

Cast:
Ricki Lake (Tracy Turnblad), Divine (Edna Turnblad / Arvin Hodgepile), Debbie Harry (Velma Von Tussle), Sonny Bono (Franklin Von Tussle), Jerry Stiller (Wilbur Turnblad), Leslie Ann Powers (Penelope "Penny" Pingleton), Colleen Fitzpatrick (Amber Von Tussle), Michael St. Gerard (Lincoln "Link" Larkin), Clayton Prince (Seaweed J. Stubbs), Cyrkle Milbourne (L'il Inez Stubbs), Ruth Brown (Motormouth Maybelle Stubbs), Shawn Thompson (Corny Collins), Mink Stole (Tammy), Joann Havrilla (Prudence Pingleton), with special appearances by Toussaint McCall (Himself), Rick Ocasek (Beatnik cat), and Pia Zadora (Beatnik chick) Directed by John Waters.

Review:
"I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value."

Sometimes you can tell about a director from their influences, which for John Waters ranged from Jonas Mekas to Russ Meyer to Liberace to William Castle. Some directors might squirm at their films being labeled trash in some way but not in the case of Waters (labeled the "Pope of Trash"), who most certainly has had an interesting career worth looking at. He had an interest in taboo stuff from the very beginning, ranging from youth staging of violent puppet shows for birthday parties to hanging out near a beatnik bar while growing up in Baltimore, Maryland; numerous people that he grew up with would later participate in his films (known as the Dreamlanders), which included actors/crew such as Mary Vivian Pearce and Divine (stage name for Harris Milstead, drag queen/singer and counterculture icon) that started doing short films in 1964 and then features with Mondo Trasho (1969). The film he is likely most famous for is the exploitation comedy Pink Flamingos (1972), which is best described by its tagline as an "exercise in poor taste", which featured Divine in a film most infamous for having her actually eat excrement, among other moments. Although Waters has not directed a film since A Dirty Shame (2004), he has kept himself busy in various ways, ranging from a one-man show This Filthy World to acting appearances to artistry in a variety of mediums.

This was his seventh film as director, while being his sixth and last collaboration with Divine, who died just weeks after the release of the film. It would later be turned into a musical in 2003 (winning several Tony Awards) and a film based on the musical was done in 2007. It might seem like a strange duck when compared to some of Waters' other films (it is the only film of his to be PG rated), but then I realize it makes perfect sense because it's a movie of kitsch near his heart, since it is inspired by The Buddy Deane Show, a dance party show from 1957 to 1964 that aired in Baltimore when Waters was a child that featured teenagers as part of "The Committee" that would dance on the show to the hit songs and artists of the time that could range from country to rhythm to rock and roll, which ended not because of a loss of popularity but because of management refusal to integrate. There is something warm and weird about its approach that makes a curious charmer of an experience, benefitting from a cast with a good sense of subtlety and charm and some interesting tunes and turn with jokes that embraces its surroundings with slyness and enjoyment. Lake (in her film debut) proves capable in the lead with awareness and fine timing, worthy of our attention in making humor or rolling to the beat without being a target for cheap plump jokes. Divine, playing roles in each gender, is quite captivating, doing a fair job in enriching deadpan humor without needing to clown for it with hammy-ness, whether that means playing a free-spirited wife or a narrow-minded jerk (believe it or not, the original idea was to have Divine play both the lead and the on-screen mother). Harry makes a good laugh in conceitedness, with Bono and Fitzpatrick being appropriate contrasts to Divine and Stiller in family values to poke and look at. Others like Powers, Brown do just fine with giving perspective to what matters most: a changing time not just for kids but also for adults as well, while the Beatnik scene with Ocasek and Zadora is fairly amusing. It holds the attention for 92 minutes because it has its heart in the right places that can be enjoyed by anyone without getting a feeling of gooey sentiment or general gooeyness. It is a lively and well-crafted look upon the times with an eye looking upon issues involving racial prejudice or what it means to be a teen in 1962 like no other.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Sweet 15 (1990).

Review #070: Sweet 15.

Cast
Karla Montana (Marta de la Cruz), Panchito Gómez (Ramón), Jerry Stiller (Mr. Waterman), Tony Plana (Samuel Dela Cruz), Robert Covarrubias (Jorge), Laura P. Vega (Gabrielle 'Gaby' Corea), and Giselle Anthony (Jackie) Directed by Victoria Hochberg.

Review
Here is a rarity: a television film reviewed on Movie Night. 

This (TV) film is being reviewed for the reason I got to watch it at my Spanish class. The film is noted for being watched by many Spanish classes, and I can see why. It shows the heart of Mexican-American culture, more or less. It shows the troubles of a family with a teenager growing to be 15. The acting may be off a little, and the "love interest" is 30 (when he's supposed to be 20-25), but the film is still recommended for any Spanish class.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.