Vampira (1974).

Review #1096: Vampira.

Cast: 
David Niven (Count Dracula), Teresa Graves (Countess Vampira), Nicky Henson (Marc), Jennie Linden (Angela), Linda Hayden (Helga), Bernard Bresslaw (Pottinger), Andrea Allan (Eve), Veronica Carlson (Ritva), Minah Bird (Rose), Freddie Jones (Gilmore), Chris Sandford (Milton), Frank Thornton (Mr. King), and Peter Bayliss (Maltravers) Directed by Clive Donner (#079 - A Christmas Carol)

Review: 
It is evident to see the success that the film Young Frankenstein (#655) had when it was released on December 15, 1974, since that was a fine piece of work in making an entertaining comedy that didn't shy away from its horror roots. In addition, it had an effect on the marketing of this movie, released just two months earlier in October. Upon seeing the success of that film, Vampira was released into American theaters under the title Old Dracula in 1975 to try and bank on the other movie's popularity. However, it is clear quite early to see the differences between the two - one is funny, and the other is not. Through its 88 minute run-time, Vampira is a boring experience that never really seems to have a grasp at what exactly it wants to be for a horror-comedy. The best thing that can be said is that Niven certainly looks game to try and make an effort, not phoning it in too hard, even for Dracula standards. The movie has two underlying problems, with the first being that the other cast-mates don't prove to be too particularly funny, and the second one is that the plot motivation (and execution) are incredibly weak. Nothing truly says compelling entertainment like weak innuendos, although it's not like the writing (done by Jeremy Lloyd of films such as The Wrong Box) isn't too awful for consumption.

Graves isn't particularly compelling, perhaps since she doesn't really sell the hipness of her role too particularly well to generate laughs. The movie likes to use slang from the decade it came from, but it certainly doesn't make it seem too particularly relevant for any sort of viewer. Henson is pretty dry, and his plot-line isn't too particularly interesting even for a Dracula. The others play their parts the way you'd might expect, looking more adept to be a dry sitcom than a funny movie, although Bayliss occasionally delivers some chuckles. I guess if there was something more interesting to drive the plot than just finding the right blood for Dracula's love intermixed with lame stuff like the parts with Henson or even the swinging sequence at the end that makes this a bore at times. The amusement level never rises above mild chuckles, with the final shot involving a "transformed" Dracula sure being a sight to see in closing out a dry failure of a movie. Ultimately, this is a misfire that can't quite hit enough times to really elevate itself to any sort of useful entertainment, and it would've likely been worse to go through if Niven wasn't the star.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Dr. Who and the Daleks.

Review #341: Dr. Who and the Daleks.

Cast
Peter Cushing (Dr. Who), Roy Castle (Ian), Jennie Linden (Barbara), Roberta Tovey (Susan), Barrie Ingham (Alydon), Michael Coles (Ganatus), and Yvonne Antrobus (Dyoni). Directed by Gordon Flemyng.

Review
2013 is the 50th anniversary year of Doctor Who, and to help commemorate, I decided to...review a Dr. Who film? When it comes to Dr. Who films, there aren't that many. And after watching this, I still doubt that this is a "Dr. Who" film. Our leading actor is not, William Hartnell, but...Peter Cushing. That might be a benefit until after watching it I realize he doesn't carry much of the charm or even the determination of the Doctor. And what's worse? His name in the film is...Dr. Who. I assume he came from Whoville, from Ma Who and Pa Who, but I digress. It's sad when the only thing the film managed to not change much are the Daleks. The companions are more cardboard cutouts of the real characters. It is amazing though in one grand thing, it's...slowness. It's amazing how a short film (about an hour and 20 minutes) can feel nauseously slow, and the Dalek voices don't really help. It feels boring and it doesn't capture any of the spirit that make Doctor Who great. Clearly the only thought process was like this: "Daleks!" "We need a story." "Daleks, dang it!" "We need a cast." "Get Peter Cushing in some makeup!" "Wh-" "DALEKS!", but again, I digress. You could be using your time more wisely by reading a book, or by, I don't know, watching some actual Doctor Who. But oh well. Happy....February everyone.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.