The Quest (1999).

Review #2543: The Quest.

Cast: 

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Chris Dubois), Roger Moore (Lord Edgar Dobbs), James Remar (Maxie Devine), Janet Gunn (Carrie Newton), Jack McGee (Harry Smythe), Aki Aleong (Khao Prahan), Louis Mandylor (Riggi), Chang Ching Peng Chaplin (Master Tchi), Ryan Cutrona (Officer O'Keefe), Abdel Qissi (Khan, Mongolian Fighter), Jen Sung (Phang Prahan, Siamese Fighter), Stefanos Miltsakakis (Greek Fighter), Ong Soo Han (Korean Fighter), Peter Wong (Chinese Fighter), Kōji Kitao (Kyoshiro Yama, Japanese Fighter) Directed by Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Review: 

It feels a little nice to finally complete a movie pack, honestly. This was the fourth and final movie on a pack I somehow got about a couple of years ago that had four Jean-Claude Van Damme movies: Hard Target (which was awesome), Lionheart (fair), Sudden Death (hilariously enjoyable), and this one. As early as 1991, Van Damme was interested in doing a film that basically would be his farewell to the martial genre, as he once labeled it as "the Ben-Hur of martial arts films", albeit with inspirations taken from the Belgian comic The Adventures of Tintin. Amidst delays and other strange things (Van Damme apparently was going to fly above the city of Cannes for the 1993 Cannes Film Market in a Quest-branded hot air balloon, but bad weather scuttled these plans), thing eventually started moving with Moshe Diamant as producer for a production that had Universal Pictures distribute the film in North America. The script for the film basically became a rotted potato of half-baked ideas and disputes over who did what, with four names listed: Van Damme and Frank Dux (remember Bloodsport ?) were credited with the story (in a WGA decision rather than going with "Story by Jean-Claude Van Damme and Jean Claude Van Damme & Frank Dux" - more on that in a bit). Steven Klein and Paul Mones were credited with the screenplay, with the former being a pseudonym for Gene Quintano. Ed Khmara apparently was originally paired with Dux to help further out his ideas (after Sheldon Lettich gave some idea pitches but rejected the offer to co-write the movie). The result was a movie that ended up as a bigger hit with international audiences than in America. It is Van Damme's only released film as a director (with Frenchy, a 2008/2010 film, still unreleased). In 1998, Dux (who once claimed Bloodsport was based on his life, among other tall tales) sued Van Damme for improper compensation, arguing that his "Enter the New Dragon" and "The Quest" were the same film and that they had an agreement for money and percentage of the film's profits (somehow, one claim for the promise by Van Damme was an audio tape...that was unable to be retrieved because of damages to his apartment from the 1994 Northridge earthquake). 

According to Roger Moore's autobiography, the production of the film was not a happy one, with Diamant trying to get people to work extra hours to compensate for delays that were mostly because of Van Damme showing up late on set, with second unit director Peter MacDonald being a positive for the film. Apparently, a large horseback battle was cut at the request of Diamant and Van Damme claimed that the budget was more around $12 million rather than the usual reports of $30-35 million. I think you can see at times where the movie is a bit unfocused in that regard, as it is a strangely unbalanced movie full of undercooked characters and story beats that basically come off as re-heated leftovers from Bloodsport. I will say, however, this is an amusing movie to see through to the end even in its mediocrity. You get a story in a bar with Van Damme in elderly makeup kicking ass (why not?) and it all closes with a closing of a book because, well, why not? I imagine that aside from the kicking, the real appeal of Van Damme movies is seeing what kind of hokum-sorry, charm is meant to be present with his character and the company of people around him (which namely involves flimsy romances and at least one funny moment by a supporting character). Here, he seems a bit vacant, as if he is lost in the shuffle of his own movie besides the kicks. At least his ego is funny to chuckle along with, as opposed to say, Steven Seagal? The tournament as a whole just seems repetitive (one round beatdowns that probably aren't as fun to watch as say, playing Mortal Kombat without the fatalities*) and not all that interesting beyond the attempt to raise the stakes at the end. 

There's a bit more to it than that, because Moore plays a guy who tricks Van Damme's character into being sold into slavery while Remar plays the heavyweight boxing champion who never ends up fighting in the tournament...no, really.  Having Moore in the film probably was a big thing in terms of "stature", even if by this point, he was nearly 70 (perhaps most famously, he once joked that he had three expressions as James Bond: "right eyebrow raised, left eyebrow raised, and eyebrows crossed when grabbed by Jaws"). While I get having him there, it doesn't make that much sense when you also have Remar there in the "guys who come along for the tournament" department, with even McGee seeming more in place than having both Moore and Remar. Gunn is basically given the equivalent of when you give someone an unplugged controller, and Qissi is basically just doing re-heated leftovers from when he was in Lionheart (you'd think killing an opponent would help in the "villain" department, but no, not really). You might be wondering: what the hell is the "quest" part? Well, the lead character is a guy who ran away from gangsters after he helped some orphans get money, promising to return to America, so I guess he's on the quest for his soul (and money). Somehow in the aftermath of denying himself the "Golden Dragon" (to save the dudes who formerly tricked him into slavery), one is told in voiceover that he returned to New York and helped the kids get off the streets (while the others get happy endings). As a 95-minute movie that is basically split between the adventure aspects (a ship boarding, the training stuff) and a repetitive tournament that happens to end with the characters going outside the ring, it's all pretty amusing hokum. Sure, it's a retread of stuff you've probably seen before, but there are some movies where inflated self-importance is part of the fun for an action movie that is exactly what you think it is. As a whole, The Quest is sometimes amusing, sometimes odd and generally watchable even as a lesser effort for Van Damme as both star and director.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Song of the day!

*I was never that good at getting the fatalities in Mortal Kombat, sue me.

Sudden Death.

Review #2510: Sudden Death.

Cast:

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Darren McCord), Powers Boothe (Joshua Foss), Raymond J. Barry (U.S. Vice President Daniel Bender), Dorian Harewood (Matthew Hallmark), Whittni Wright (Emily McCord), Ross Malinger (Tyler McCord), Michael Gaston (Hickey), Faith Minton (Carla), Paul Mochnick (Andrew Ferrara), Audra Lindley (Angeline Ferrara), and Jack Erdie (Scratch) Directed by Peter Hyams (#233 - 2010: The Year We Make Contact, #326 - Timecop, #2477 - A Sound of Thunder)

Review: 

"I was not a hockey fan. I had not been to a hockey game before. I started to do research, and then I started to watch the Penguins play. I began to realize the unbelievable athleticism involved, and the violence involved and the speed of that puck. Hockey is better in the arena than it is on television. It’s a phenomenal sport."

What better day to do a movie about hockey than a few days after the United States of America managed to beat the odds and win the gold medal in hockey (and in true gender equality: the men and women each won*)? What better time to see a movie that could basically be thought of as an ad for a hockey team? The original story came from Karen Baldwin, an aspiring actress who became part of a producing firm with her husband Howard, which basically came on the side of sports ownership, as the Baldwins were among the owners of the Pittsburgh Penguins (as was the case from 1992-1998*). At the time, the team played in the Civic Arena, and the unique roof of the venue that could open up apparently led to Karen thinking about the possibility of doing "something like Die Hard in a hockey arena", which also matched with a story the Baldwins had tried to do about a Soviet goaltender trying to defect because they were wearing a mask; Gene Quintano then wrote the screenplay. When Peter Hyams (not exactly a hockey fan at the time) was approached, he was astounded to see the Baldwins willing to do a movie with so much action in their own venue (he proceeded to suggest a fight scene with a killer dressed up as the team mascot). Of course, the 1994-95 league lockout hindered them in getting the proper filming for crowds, and a good variety of the hockey action ended up being the work of local hockey players (while Mike Lange and Paul Steigerwald provided commentary). As the second collaboration between Hyams and Jean-Claude Van Damme (after Timecop), the movie was a mild success at the time while becoming a rental favorite. 

It does kind of boggle the mind to have your hockey team be part of a movie that has the following: the team mascot getting into a fight with the lead hero (before getting brutally killed), team security basically being humiliated at all costs (mayhem after every period ends no less), and, to top it all, the lead villain wearing Penguins gear right before he dies in "death by helicopter stalling". Of course, the funniest thing is the movie just...ends, because I could only wonder how a hockey game continues after all that. For a movie that freely cribs from Die Hard, except with trying to disarm bombs, it is quite fascinating to see it all play out (right down to a henchman playing Doom), unless one doesn't like violence in their action movie - the body count on this film of people who die is actually considerable, jeez.. This was a movie that had both of its hero and villain cast because other people rejected it (Sylvester Stallone and James Woods, for example) and yet each manage to have a ball with the roles presented here, mostly in the case of Boothe, who has tremendous alacrity to engage with the mayhem without just having it mosey on by. Van Damme may never have really been a great action star in terms of variety, but he at least was still committed enough in physicality to at least make it worthwhile to see him kick the hell out of someone dressed up as a mascot. As much as it would be nice to have some presence from the hostages besides cursory interest from Barry, the movie doesn't hesitate in just going with the mayhem. The maneuvering of the plot does not exactly gel completely with reality (bomb detonations are to be delayed by the onset of overtime because, well, I guess even terrorists wanted to make sure they didn't miss the finale before blowing it up?), but the movie manages to move its machinery for 110 minutes without treating the audience as if they were entitled to be liked for the sake of being liked. You either buy what it is selling (complete with rooftop action for the climax) or you just wash it away quickly. As a whole, Hyams shot and directed a decent little film that basically maneuvers itself the way you would hope for a wind-up action movie in an era where cribbing from others was fine as long as you had some craftsmanship behind it. It's not a great movie, but being good enough is fine anyway.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night presents: Song of the day

*It should be noted that Howard Baldwin was behind the change of the iconic Penguins logo for, well, a loser logo that never won anything when it was around because...merchandising. Also he called the old logo a "pigeon". Just goes to show that rich people really do sometimes have no taste at all.

*I mean this with only a lit bit of venom towards the sore losers towards how the men's/women's hockey games went: Suck it Canada! 

Lionheart (1990).

Review #2406: Lionheart.

Cast:

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Lyon "Lionheart" Gaultier), Harrison Page (Joshua Eldridge), Deborah Rennard (Cynthia Caldera), Lisa Pelikan (Hélène Gaultier), Ashley Johnson (Nicole Gaultier), Brian Thompson (Russell), Vojislav Govedarica (Sgt. Hartog), Michel Qissi (Moustafa), Abdel Qissi (Attila), Ash Adams (Francois Gaultier), George McDaniel (Adjutant), and Jeff Langton (Sonny) Directed by Sheldon Lettich.

Review: 

"Most Van Damme movies are basically structured like old Fred Astaire movies. Astaire’s movies employ a very simple plot (“I have to convince her to marry me before she can marry that rich guy who doesn’t really love her”) which Astaire uses to hang his dance numbers on. Similarly, in Van Damme movies there’s a simple plot (“They killed our parents, we must get revenge”) which we can then hang a number of fight scenes on. In an Astaire movie, it all leads to the big crucial dance number at the end (where he wins over the girl). In a Van Damme movie, it all leads to the big fight at the end (where he kills the guys who murdered his parents)."

Admittedly, I can't blame Jean-Claude Van Damme from getting into the "input" side of filmmaking. This was the debut of Lettich as a director; after serving for a few years in the Marine Corps (specifically radio operator and with the 1st Force Reconnaissance Company), he went on to study Photography in college before becoming interested in being a filmmaker in the late 1970s (inquire further here). So, you've got two ideas crash into one: Van Damme wrote an outline for a fighting movie in the underground while his friend Sheldon Lettich had a script in mind involving the "classic era" of the French Foreign Legion. Sure, that script didn't go anywhere (apparently it was intended for Sylvester Stallone, since the two had written Rambo III [1988] together) but I think you get how Lionheart would come out combining the two a bit. Well, that and both guys liked the movie Hard Times (1975). Imperial Entertainment tried to get a different writer to do rewrites so as to not spend much money on Lettich, which is where S. N. Warren came in. However, Warren's rewrites (save for the name) were basically curtailed Lettich was hired to do a rewrite and just direct the movie; the result is that Warren, Lettich and Van Damme got credit for the screenplay and the latter got credit for the story; Van Damme also served as fight choreographer for the movie.* The movie was shown as "A.W.O.L.: Absent Without Leave" at the Cannes Film Market in May 1990 and picked up by Universal Studios for later distribution in early 1991. Strangely, the movie was released in France as "Full Contact" (better than the working title of the movie in the first place: "The Wrong Bet"). The movie was a relative success with audiences, following along the line of Van Damme star movies such as Bloodsport (1988) and Cyborg (1989).

Sure, it is a bit of a ridiculous trip down the road (the egregious "ass club" of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) has a teammate), but there is something quite endearing about its execution that I can't help but like. You've got an array of fights that for whatever reason go from the mean streets to at one point taking place in a pool. You've got a movie that decides, screw it, you are getting straight-to-the-point drama that can only go the way of a swift kick to, well, you know. It runs on sheer audacity from Lettich and Van Damme to make for a relatively enjoyable time. Having not seen Bloodsport in about six years, I imagine that my reasoning that Lionheart is the better "fighting without the cops knowing" movie (incidentally, both movies have a final fight where the lead must rally from a big injury, whether that involves being unable to see or, well, a bad rib) mainly because this movie actually seems to have some sort of enjoyment beyond being tall tale hokum. It probably helps that the movie is just about a guy trying to make good rather than about revenge (okay maybe it is an "on the run" movie, but at least it is a worthwhile pursuit, though I'm not really sure the Legion looks that good). Sure, it might be easy to compare him to Steven Seagal (both have their own "command" of reality in dialogue), but there is just something about Van Damme and his physicality that goes hand in hand with a sly sense of charm to watch play out against all odds. I think it helps that he isn't thrust into a side dynamic of romance and instead has a pal to engage with in Page (likely best known for the TV show Sledge Hammer!), who is quite a charmer. Unusually, you've got Thompson playing second fiddle to Renard (speaking of TV regulars, a regular on Dallas), which is mostly so you can see the allusion of tension between her and Van Damme that is somewhat cheeky if not entirely routine. The 105-minute runtime is about on point for a movie that arranges several fights with people watching in the distance (notice how the view from the street isn't too different in enthusiasm from the view from a different locale later on) that looks pretty good in brutality and the final fight does manage to evoke some triumph. It is a solidly decent time likely worth checking out if one is already curious about what Van Damme brings to the table in action, that is for sure.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

*Well, maybe I am being a bit vague about Van Damme being involved with films: apparently Van Damme contributed uncredited editing on Bloodsport [1988] and Cyborg [1989]. 

Street Fighter.

Review #2329: Street Fighter.

Cast: 

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Colonel William F. Guile), Raul Julia (M. Bison), Ming-Na Wen (Chun-Li Zang), Damian Chapa (Ken Masters), Kylie Minogue (Cammy White), Simon Callow (A.N. Official), Byron Mann (Ryu Hoshi), Roshan Seth (Dr. Dhalsim), Andrew Bryniarski (Zangief), Grand L. Bush (Gerald Balrog), Robert Mammone (Carlos Blanka), Miguel A. Núñez Jr. (Dee Jay), Gregg Rainwater (T. Hawk), Kenya Sawada (Captain Sawada), Jay Tavare (Vega), Peter Tuiasosopo (E. Honda), and Wes Studi (Victor Sagat) Written and Directed by Steven E. de Souza.

Review: 

I'm sure plenty of you have at least played the video game of the same name, as originally directed by Takashi Nishiyama and designed by Hiroshi Matsumoto for release in arcades by Capcom that took inspiration from a wide variety of sources such as Enter the Dragon and various shōnen manga and anime. The release of the sequel in 1991 launched the series into the stratosphere. It did not become a surprise to see a film spring into development, one that would see Capcom serve as a co-financier and a mandate by them for a December 1994 release date that basically meant a fast production rundown. They managed to hire someone who actually liked the games with Steven E. de Souza, who envisioned his idea to do a cross between Star Wars, James Bond and a war movie that wouldn't have too many elements from the games. The Philadelphia native had gone from story editing shows like The Six Million Dollar Man to screenwriting movies such as Commando (1985) and co-writing the first two Die Hard films but had directed just one movie before: Arnold's Wrecking Co. (1973), a little-seen pot comedy. As it turned out, this would be his last film as a director. Van Damme and Julia were cast fairly quickly (the former was an actor Capcom had pictured as playing Guile for quite some time) but the rest of the actors would be comprised of unknowns (the casting of Minogue came about because Souza happened to see her on a magazine about "beautiful people" and he needed an Australian). When the filmmakers realized the extent of Julia's condition, in which he was suffering from cancer, the decision was made to shoot the intensive action scenes that did not require the actor while they got him to regain body mass, which essentially meant actors would train for their action scenes with barely any time to spare before filming., since, well, they also had to meet a strict deadline for December 1994. Troubles with the MPAA occurred where trying to go down from an R to PG-13 somehow almost resulted in a G rating with the cuts (amusingly, Capcom had decided to go into partnership with Hasbro when it came to toy-line production making shaped the film in a "G.I. Joe way"). Interestingly, it would not be the first Street Fighter movie released, as an anime adaptation of the second game, called Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie, would be released in Japan in August of 1994 with some countries also getting a theater release. While the live-action movie did have some pull with audiences, no sequel would follow despite its attempted sequel-bait. The only other Fighter film that has come out in theaters was The Legend of Chun-Li in 2009.

What a marvelous mess. The uneven nature of a movie that slogs through 102 minutes with the feeling of rushed slop is painfully apparent by the time one is even halfway through a film that can't quite find a suitable center to really get things interesting with such a miserable ensemble. The fight scenes are mediocre at best and the movie only manages to draw the smallest of interest in actually wondering just how source material like people fighting in the streets could be turned into a movie that the 1980s would've spit out for being too familiar (at least Bison Bucks is semi original?). Van Damme had a problem with certain substances to collide with a big ego during production of this film. Capcom may have thought he looked like a good Guile, but man, he really has nothing to show for it with this performance, which is bereft of general charm (unless you count ridiculous lines about balls) or impressive ass-kicking. Trying or not, he has never been so, um, funny. Even crappy movies have some interest to generate in committed actors playing the adversary, and Julia basically approaches it as if Bison was on the level of a Shakespearian figure. He accepted the role because his kids liked the games, and if that's not a good reason to have a go at something, well, think what you want. Julia died after suffering a stroke in October of 1994 after finishing production on this film. Lost in the shuffle is Mann and Chapa, who don't have much to make a suitable pair despite the obvious attempts at trying to get a good rapport. To say nothing of note about Minogue and Wen is a pretty sad thing. With lines handled with bombast such as say, "of COURSE!", you may or may not get some amusement from the camp crap that comes through in a movie that shoots itself in the foot early (one can only take so many character in-and-outs before you give up trying to follow) and never recovers. In general, the three decades that have followed its release has seen a fair share of stellar and not-so stellar entertainment based on gaming that goes to show that even the best laid plans can go down south with dubious execution such as this one.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Hard Target.

 

Review #1855: Hard Target.

Cast: 

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Chance Boudreaux), Lance Henriksen (Emil Fouchon), Arnold Vosloo (Pik Van Cleef), Yancy Butler (Natasha Binder), Kasi Lemmons (Detective May Mitchell), Chuck Pfarrer (Douglas Binder), Willie C. Carpenter (Elijah Roper), Wilford Brimley (Uncle Clarence Douvee), Sven-Ole Thorsen (Stephan), Jules Sylvester (Peterson), Robert Apisa (Lopacki), Tom Lupo (Jerome), David Efron (Billy Bob), Joe Warfield (Ismael Zenan), Eliott Keener (Randal Poe), Douglas Forsythe Rye (Frick), Mike Leinert (Frack), and Marco St. John (Dr. Morton) Directed by John Woo (#030 - Face/Off, #336 - Broken Arrow (1996), and #1100 - Mission: Impossible 2)

Review: 

"Mr. Jim Jacks, the writer, Chuck Pfarrer, and Jean-Claude Van Damme, they flew over to Hong Kong to meet me, and push me to do the job. They all loved my movies, liked my style, and they wanted an American action film with a new look. And I found the people from the studio were very sincere, very warm, and made me feel very relaxed about doing the film. So I took the job."

There will be time yet to cover the long career of John Woo in all the meaningful details. He was born in Guangzhou, China before purges in the country saw his family move to Hong Kong when he was five; at the age of 23, he started work in the film industry with his first short before directing features in 1974. A director for over four decades, he has directed features for both Asian and American cinema, with The Killer (1987) receiving considerable attention abroad. After the release of Hard Boiled (1992), Woo decided to move to the States despite not having a dream to work there before coming there. Chuck Pfarrer, a former Navy SEAL, had developed a script at Universal Pictures that was soon developed with Van Damme in mind. The script took a couple of renditions (such as being inspired by The Naked Prey (1965) and Aliens (1986)) before it found its final form, which was inspired by The Most Dangerous Game (as helped by producer Jim Jacks). Jacks, Pfarrer, and Van Damme all flew over to Hong Kong to meet Woo and try to get him to do it. Jacks helped to bring Woo onto the project, although the studio would have to be convinced to hire Woo because of their doubts - one about his handling of drama and the other about his command of English. Van Damme was the star brought on to star in the movie, although Pfarrer actually had Armand Assante in mind when writing the movie (for his part, Woo actually wanted Kurt Russell, but he was too booked). Woo had gone through a couple of scripts offered to him (one was a script involving switching faces...) before he accepted this one; Sam Raimi was hired by Universal as a potential successor to look over Woo in case things would go south for him, which is why he is credited as an executive producer, although obviously Raimi had confidence in Woo. Van Damme had the star power of script approval and even final cut privileges, which means that there are different versions of the film - Woo had to cut the film just to make sure it wasn't rated NC-17 (the last cut submitted to the MPAA that failed was called the international version, running at 99 minutes), while Van Damme insisted on a version with more of him, complete with close-ups too. This means that the theatrical cut is 97 minutes as opposed to a screening cut done by Woo, which had lasted 116 minutes; an unrated director's cut was released in 2021. A direct-to-video sequel was released in 2016 with none of the cast, and I'm sure none of you give a crap about that. Hard Target was the first Hollywood studio film made by an Asian director.

Even if he had trouble converting his directing talents to a Hollywood "sensibility", one can still see the talent involved in his distinct techniques, whether that involves slow-motion shots and birds that fly around before action starts. I'll be honest, the movie may be a "starring vehicle", but it actually is the second actor that takes control of general interest. No seriously, Henriksen is the more interesting presence in the movie, and this is in a movie where our lead is playing a Cajun drifter who just happens to be a former Marine with a greasy mullet, and one of the supporting actors is Wilfred Brimley playing a Cajun relative who doesn't even show up until a hour has passed. In a sense, it probably is a bit strange to see a movie about taking rich eccentrics and company hunting down homeless veterans (which happen to be in New Orleans after several hunts in other places). If Van Damme (a martial artist after his father enrolled him in classes at the age of 10 before also taking up ballet) is known for his rigid stature of doing one particular hero type for his movies, Woo at the very least managed to make him seem a bit more heightened in a way that will at least make one believe him to be in between say, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Steven Seagal (in other words, below the former but considerably higher than the latter). He moves well to the beat of the action without becoming just a man wrapped in the background of lurid fun, which makes it better than previous stuff like Bloodsport (1988), obviously.

There is a twisted elegance to Henriksen that dominates the interest in ways that probably made Van Damme jealous. Imagine someone as professional and dedicated to their work as Henriksen, who excelled in character roles such as Aliens, stealing the show away from a guy who kicks hard because of his pitch-black attitude. He lives on the edge, complete with a dandy weapon that makes him very entertaining to see against the lead, which is probably best represented by a scene where an explosion leads to his jacket being on fire and he just rips that thing off like it was a wad of gum on the shoe (which was an ad-lib by Henriksen). Vosloo is the other key adversary, and he does just as well here in conniving charm needed for the other sociopath in the movie. Hell, you could almost have made a movie with just them as the leads, in an offbeat sort of way, because one does have some fun with what they do together. Butler (making her feature starring debut) is the middle person between interesting presences that is adequate without becoming just a shell for nothingness (Lemmons gets to be the empty one, since authority figures in this kind of movie is like throwing beer on a fire). Brimley is clearly enjoying putting on an accent bordering on "hooting and hollering" that is silly enough to endear oneself to a movie that uses him to solid effect for the climax with Van Damme.

You will get the whole gumbo of things to note and possibly enjoy, whether that involves our lead biting a snake after asking someone to trust them before setting it up as a death trap, jumping over burning barrels before kicking a fuel canister to shoot at it, guys getting shot through keyholes, arrows being fired at home-made moonshine to help light people on fire, and a climax that happens in a Mardi Gras warehouse (it "helps" that the cops happen to be on strike) because the villain doesn't want to just take him down from the air. It really does flow like lurid ballet, packed with a tiny bit of philosophy (or something when the bad guy targets veterans that no one will notice for his weird hunts) mixed with the primal action. By the time the movie ends, you will either find yourself wanting to see the differences between this movie and other Van Damme movies or you will want to see further John Woo movies (he would do five further films in Hollywood before shifting his focus to make films in China by the end of the 2000s). Silly, bombastic, engaging, it really does make for a curious winner that will hit a certain kind of sweet spot in audience and never let go in Woo's attempt to make a modern Western that succeeds.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Bloodsport.

Review #1053: Bloodsport.

Cast: 
Jean-Claude Van Damme (Frank Dux), Bolo Yeung (Chong Li), Donald Gibb (Ray Jackson), Leah Ayres (Janice Kent), Norman Burton (Helmer), Forest Whitaker (Rawlins), Ken Siu (Victor Lin), Roy Chiao (Senzo Tanaka), Michel Qissi (Suan Paredes), and Philip Chan (Inspector Chen) Directed by Newt Arnold.

Review: 
This film was released 30 years ago on this day today. So why not do a review for it? That's my best justification for doing this movie. Hopefully you enjoy the review.

What can I say about this movie? What is there to write about a film starring "international martial arts sensation" Jean-Claude Van Damme that doesn't end in some sort of laughter or amazement that it exists (and naturally fitting for the 1980s)? The best thing to say is that at least it is a movie filled with some fair moments of action, although it is not accompanied by much in terms of story nor acting. This was the second feature role for Van Damme, who had appeared in No Retreat, No Surrender (1986) along with minor roles in other films (such as Breakin' in 1984), and while the easy thing to do would be to simply make fun of him for his performance (as one could do with the film), I will state that there is a certain level of intrigue that Van Damme inspires (for better or for worse) that keeps the movie from becoming a bore, mostly because he doesn't become a victim to the plot, as thin and preposterous as it gets. Gibb is enjoyably over-the-top, giving me a few chuckles (take that for what its worth). Yeung plays his adversary role with a fine polish that doesn't give him much dialogue but does manage to make him at least look the part of the big bad. Ayres does okay, although I can't say the romance subplot with her and Van Damme is anything too special. Burton and Whitaker prove to be an odd duo to pursue the main character that don't click too particularly well with the film, but at least they don't derail the movie. The rest of the cast isn't too noteworthy, but they do their parts reasonably fine.

When asked about the film (with relation to Frank Dux, whose exploits had been covered in the magazine Black Belt in 1980), co-writer Sheldon Lettich stated that he had known Dux months prior to thinking up the idea for the film, stating that he "told me a lot of tall tales, most of which turned out to be bullshit. But his stories about participating in this so-called "Kumite" event sounded like a great idea for a movie." It should be noted that Dux served as fighting coordinator for the film, putting Van Damme through a three month training program. I will state the action sequences (along with Van Damme's splits) are reasonably impressive at times, managing to have a good amount of spectacle that makes the movie seem worth it during its 92 minute run-time. Whether one puts much weight on Dux's "kumite experiences" is up to the viewer, but does it get in the way of enjoying the movie? No, partly because I doubt anyone watches the movie expecting this "true story" to be anything other than a tall tale that would likely make Paul Bunyan blush. Take this film for what it is: a ridiculous, but uninsulting piece of work that doesn't try to overextend itself beyond just attempting to be entertainment. Do I like it? No, but I can see why someone else would.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Expendables 2.

Review #675: The Expendables 2.

Cast
Sylvester Stallone (Barney Ross), Yu Nan (Maggie Chan), Jason Statham (Lee Christmas), Dolph Lundgren (Gunner Jensen), Jean-Claude Van Damme (Jean Vilain), Bruce Willis (Church), Arnold Schwarzenegger (Trench Mauser), Terry Crews (Hale Caesar), Randy Couture (Toll Road), Chuck Norris (Booker), Jet Li (Yin Yang), Liam Hemsworth (Billy the Kid), and Scott Adkins (Hector) Directed by Simon West (#458 - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)

Review
It figures that I'd get to this eventually. And 628 reviews later, a review of the sequel to a movie that to begin with was a nice little capsule for action stars old and new...now with two sequels in tow. Granted, it is fun to see Schwarzenegger in an action role (as opposed to a cameo) again, and I admit, this is more of a guilt pick for me. And yes, Van Damme plays a villain called Jean Vilain. He's actually pretty decent in this film, and he's about as right for this film as tanks getting blown up. Really when you think about it, this is a sandwich of action with a slice of referential humor in there for effect, with the plot representing the condiment on the sandwich (or bagel, if you prefer), which I guess makes sense. Or it makes me hungry. The cast is enjoyable (Terry Crews especially, but hey, even Lundgren is cool). Nan provides a breath of fresh air to the movie, which is a good thing. The movie is what you want: awesome fun that doesn't drag too much. Honestly, it's better than the first film, even if still gets the same rating, so make up your mind on that one. Tomorrow (December 20th) is the 4th Anniversary of the show, so I've got something planned for it. Stay tuned.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Double Team.

Review #379: Double Team.

Cast
Jean-Claude Van Damme (Jack Quinn), Dennis Rodman (Yaz), Mickey Rourke (Stavro), Natacha Lindinger (Kathryn Quinn), and Paul Freeman (Alex Goldsmythe) Directed by Tsui Hark.

Review
This is a weird combination, isn't it? Obvioously not because of Van Damme, but because of Rodman. I don't know if it is the rainbow-ish hair or the fact that even when he wears a hat, he sticks out like a sore thumb. The thing about this combination is that it makes no sense. Who in their right mind thought this was going to be successful? Rodman manages to do no better than Michael Jordan (#235: Space Jam) in terms of athletes trying to act. Van Damme (llast seen here in #326 - Timecop) does okay, but it feels he isn't trying that much to begin with, but who is? Mickey Rourke is strangely in this film, last seen doing better films (such as #047 - The Expendables and #334 - Iron Man 2) in better times. The film's action scenes, rather than entertaining the viewer, reminds them of better action films. While the film has one scene (involving a soda machine, a tiger and some mines) that is memorable, it is memorable for all the wrong reasons. The film doesn't keep much interest despite Rodman and Damme "trying" in vein. Sometimes picking two random names from a hat does not mean a good combo for a film.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Timecop.

Review #326: Timecop.

Cast
Jean-Claude Van Damme (Max Walker), Mia Sara (Melissa Walker), Ron Silver (Aaron McComb), Bruce McGill (Eugene Matuzak), and Gloria Reuben (Sarah Fielding) Directed by Peter Hyams (#233 - 2010)

Review
Ah yes, I finally get to talk about Mr. Van Damme. If you thought Schwarzenegger was the only one from another country that I would ever review...Actually, I thought wrong. Oops. This is apparently based off a comic book (Let's seem that's like the 25th or...Nope, 26th), and it kinda shows. It feels a bit like Terminator for some odd reason which is nearly forgotten due to the strangely complicated plot and action. So if I understand right it's about a man trying to stop a supposed bad guy in the oh so future of 2004 (and 1994 as well), but...okay. It sometimes is interesting and it sometimes has some sort of decent action, and Van Damme does a decent job, not horrible, even if it feels awkward. It's an odd film, somewhat understandable and somewhat okay.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.