A Christmas Story Christmas.

Review #2326: A Christmas Story Christmas.

Cast: 

Peter Billingsley (Ralph "Ralphie" Parker), Erinn Hayes (Sandy Parker), Julie Hagerty (Mrs. Parker), Scott Schwartz (Flick), R. D. Robb (Schwartz), Zack Ward (Officer Scut Farkus), Ian Petrella (Randy Parker), River Drosche (Mark Parker), and Julianna Layne (Julie Parker) Directed by Clay Kaytis.

Review:

I'm sure you already know this, but A Christmas Story (1983) was a modest success upon its release. It took 12 years to actually get the movie made. Sure, Bob Clark may not have got along all the way around with Jean Shepherd (a peddler-type of showman that deliberately fibbed about his upbringing, he once described his work as "anti-sentimental"), but there was a certain magic to it all in those series of vignettes that everyone and their mother have probably seen at least once around the holiday season. Far from just "“Dickens’s Christmas Carol as retold by Scrooge", there was a curious magic to it all that really could only be done once. Sure, Shepherd and Clark tried it again with My Summer Story (1994), but nobody cared enough to even find time to criticize the movie. But the nudge to talk about A Christmas Story has persisted. Hell, the house that was part of filming is now an actual Municipal Landmark of the good city of Cleveland (perhaps ironically, this film could not get access by the current owners of the building to scan the house and neighborhood for referencing). As late as 2017, people even tried making live versions of the damn movie. It should prove no surprise, then, that one would find themselves stumbling onto this movie. Peter Billingsley wanted to do a movie as both sequel and origin story for the original film, for which he co-wrote the story with Nick Schenk, who in turn co-wrote the screenplay with writer/director Clay Kaytis. You might wonder why I would make an exception to a movie that was released onto streaming on HBO Max by Warner Bros. Pictures. Well, it is easier to make fun of streaming (which I will call the stupidest way to release a movie imaginable) when one notices that this did in fact have a DVD release for all to see.

Admittedly, making a movie sequel nearly 40 years after the fact is a tough prospect. For better or worse, falling into a description of "endearing" is exactly how I would describe the whole experience of watching the movie. Sure, it probably would've made Jean Shepherd seethe in the clearest of ways, but it does manage to have enough energy to carry itself for a few laughs with a game cast to at least justify a look for 98 minutes. You get your little moments spent looking at footage from before, but it isn't peppered in one's face for too many "remember?" smirks. It all rides on Billingsley, who narrates the movie and takes up a good chunk of the general action (one wonders what has more "things that happen" and I would suppose it is this one, which involves a would-be writer and Christmas shopping). He pulls off the best performance because of his commitment to showing the face of a man having to pull ashore to familiar trappings where dreams and disappointments run hand in hand with each other while having his own family to try and deliver a worthy Christmas for this time around. Now he sees the strange perspectives of youth from the side of an adult, which is different when one thinks of a kid in the 1940s compared to, well, 1973. Hayes makes a suitable match on the side of ones with their own quirks and desires for a quality Christmas to seal a year up, (silly or otherwise). One sees things click best when Billingsley, Schwartz and Robb share the screen together in goofy energy that could only come from middle-aged folks engaged in trifling matters (but most of us are always wrapped in trifling matters, so chew on that). Hagerty captures some of the qualities originally played by Melinda Dillon (who passed away in early 2023), albeit on a much smaller scale. Drosche and Layne round it out with fairly ordinary performances (read: kid actors) that accompany a general feeling of people with varying levels of hang-ups; consider, however, the fact that one sees imagined sequences again from the character played by Billingsley and wonder how it looks when you are seeing them from a child as compared to a family man. Beyond the popping in of familiar sights (one might chuckle at a bully reforming so they can be a cop) is at least a sense of commitment in trying to rise above not quite Midwestern-trappings (okay the movie is set in Indiana but really, is one going to tell it apart from say, Hungary?). The sequence at Christmastime is probably the most the film has going for it in the warmth that arises from taking action in the usual drudgery of mundane living. In general, I went with the movie with pretty reasonable expectations (to expect something to suck is not a fun way to live) and the movie pretty much landed right where I thought it would. Call it silly, call it a mild follow-up, but one thing it most certainly is not is a movie lacking in commitment. It aims to fit neatly in the shoes of second glancing after one has already had their fill of a familiar story and rewards those who settle for a few chuckles and a fitting enough ending to make the circle complete in offbeat holiday times.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Freddy Got Fingered.

Review #1604: Freddy Got Fingered.

Cast:
Tom Green (Gordon Brody), Rip Torn (Jim Brody), Marisa Coughlan (Betty Menger), Eddie Kaye Thomas (Freddy Brody), Harland Williams (Darren), Anthony Michael Hall (Dave Davidson), Julie Hagerty (Julie Brody), Drew Barrymore (Davidson's receptionist), Shaquille O'Neal (Himself), Jackson Davies (Mr. Malloy), and Connor Widdows (Andy Malloy) Directed by Tom Green.

Review:
"It’s just so often that I’ll do an interview and people say, “Oh yeah, Tom Green, the guy who made the worst movie ever made!” Meanwhile, I can't go to an English-speaking city in the world without people shouting at me, "Daddy, would you like some sausage?" Doesn't matter what city I am in the world, people will be shouting out lines from the movie at me."

Life is too short to go through a film that could either be thought of (a gross-out turkey or a secret classic. It has been nineteen years since the release of this feature, likely the most prominent ever done by director, writer, and star Tom Green, since this is the first and so far only effort in the first two categories by him. The Canadian native was born in Pembroke, Ontario, and he had studied TV broadcasting at Algonquin College while doing side work in stand-up comedy from a young age, inspired by comedians such as David Letterman and George Carlin alongside shows such as Candid Camera and Saturday Night Live. In 1994, he helped create a sketch variety comedy show with The Tom Green Show, which aired for six years with three separate networks in Rogers Television 22, The Comedy Network, and MTV He is notable for his shock humor and pranks (such as one in planking that he claims to have invented) alongside his other career in rap and talk show host (which went from being from his own house to an studio). This film was written by him and Derek Harvie, who also worked on Green's show. I state that there was an argument as secret classic only because there were (and still are) a few arguments about the film as some sort of favorite in transgressive comedy or even a "Dadist" work (Chris Rock has it as one of his favorites, for example). Sure, the film might not have been a major success with its $14 million budget, but Green has argued that it did better than it was given credit for, owing to its DVD sales alongside his theory that the box office figures were lower because people (of a certain age) simply snuck into his film after they had bought tickets for Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, which was released one week earlier that made double the money of this film. I would say it sounds like a reeky conspiracy theory, but now we're just comparing apples to oranges with a film that would probably use it for comedy if it could. In order to gently lower oneself into the film, I started with the so-called "PG version", which supposedly is the film cut down with a silly voice to three minutes. After all, Green has admitted to have put scenes in the film that would "make boring people leave." When it comes to beating a dead deer, one takes the cake here.

I first expressed interest in doing this film a year or so ago because of its obvious reputation if only to counteract some of the films I would see with friends at times (such as stuff like Sex Drive) to perhaps make them (or myself) mad. After all, if you can't make someone mad, what's the point? Clearly, this question might not sit as well with other audiences. So, how does one approach it? Simple: you watch it, and you either like it or don't. It is quite possible that the reaction to this film can mirror the one done to horror films at times, particularly with its attempts at shock with certain scenes that revolve from a hospital room to others involving animals or cheese. Of course, the whole film really goes on how one views its main actor for an 87-minute feature. Personally, I felt that he both made a curious feature that also wasted my time. Perhaps it is my lack of familiarity with the material from his TV stuff like on MTV (which I never really watched in the first place), but I didn't exactly have a bad time with Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (based on a show that has since died and soon to be revived twice...or three times) - that was based on two numbskulls that nevertheless made a good time. For me, it's just a silly movie that isn't nearly as good or as bad as it has purported itself to be, serving as a reminder of how much one can reach those who like to have ridiculous humor, those that want something more, and those who simply don't care. I did have moments where I giggled, but some of that really involved someone alongside Green. Supposedly, Gene Wilder and Jerry Stiller were considered for the role before Torn got it, but each thought it was offensive. In any case, I am glad to see Torn, because he turns out to be my favorite part of the film. Torn, a native Texan actor of film and television for over five decades, is no stranger to eccentric highlights in his career and life, so seeing him get to pummel Green is probably like if I watched Maidstone (1970, the film where director and noted wife-stabber Norman Mailer got hit in the head with a hammer and then bit Torn's ear) for real, such as when he drags those sausages out from the roof and then promptly wrecks a half-pipe with glee. If Green is meant to represent the ridiculous and wild side that can come from daring to dream against the usual, Torn is that voice that responds in kind, which I can't help but appreciate in all of its gruffness. Coughlan is okay, in the sense that no one could make these gags involving trying to stoke enjoyment and interest in rocket-powered wheelchairs really that much better or all-too worse. Thomas is there for a brief time as the supposed straight man before he disappears to the surprise of no one. Time is spent with Williams with pain gags, while Hall and Hagerty have puddles of moments. Oodles of cameo moments occur with Barrymore and O'Neal that obviously won't be their most humiliating appearance. Oh, but how's the movie? I think if one goes by the ratio of enjoyment to minutes spent, it is a narrow loss, one that is sometimes funny despite its tinges of obnoxiousness for what can be construed by fans and detractors alike as either ahead of its time or just a weird gross time. You have to view the film with a little balance, because if you really go by the first ten minutes, or by the first fifty minutes...yea, just don't get mad about it too quickly. It's a weird, gross film, but it will fit exactly into the perception of whoever happens to watch it, regardless of if it deserves a second watch or not.

This concludes Turkey Week. I am glad to have done eight films in seven days, even if it likely could have been even more grander. But a week it was, eh? I didn't intend to do it, but back-to-back-to-back thousand word reviews? I think it is evident that another edition of Turkey Week for 2021 is in order, but I also think there should be weeks dedicated to other interests as well, so one should stay tuned for any new points of interest. If you have any suggestions for things to cover for stinkers or other things in mind, you are always free to speak your mind - have a happy holidays, folks.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars

Just Friends.

Review #838: Just Friends.

Cast
Ryan Reynolds (Chris Brander), Amy Smart (Jamie Palamino), Anna Faris (Samantha James), Chris Klein (Dusty Lee Dinkleman), Christopher Marquette (Mike Brander), Julie Hagerty (Carol Brander), Stephen Root (KC), Fred Ewanuick (Clark), and Amy Matysio (Darla) Directed by Roger Kumble.

Review
Have you ever heard of the friend zone? If you said yes, congratulations, you get to suffer through a turgid movie based on that term. If you said no, congratulations, you get to suffer through a boring movie based off that term. Look, being friends with someone is great, because then you don't have much to lose when you do something embarrassing in their midst, like doing anything from this movie.
It manages to fail at being a romance and a comedy because it's never interesting in the former case, and it's never anything other than boring in the latter case. The biggest problem in the movie is the plot itself, because who could possibly root for a main character like this? This might've been better as a dark comedy, or even a drama, but that's asking too much, I guess. The other big problem is that the characters seem to just act weirdly different from scene to scene, which makes the scenes between Reynolds and Smart especially perplexing. It doesn't help that there's a love triangle (of course) that only makes the inevitable ending sloggier. There's never a scene where it clicks that these two should actually be together. Reynolds is at least somewhat entertaining, but his chemistry with Smart actually manages to have less spark than his chemistry with Faris, the only other person that seems to be trying in this movie. She has a good deal of pep for a character that doesn't really get much plot development. The supporting cast isn't much to talk about, either. (except Julie Hagerty, only because it makes me want to watch her in Airplane! (#664) again) It's not so much the gags aren't funny as they just aren't that much to work up frustration over (there is, however, a sort of strange satisfaction in not seeing The Notebook before seeing this film). If you've seen one person in a fat suit, you've seen them all, and it doesn't make the movie any funnier in the little time it's used. If you've seen one romantic comedy, you've seen them all, and this one really is no different, with an ending that makes sense if you live in opposite world. Or if you're a writer looking for a way to reconcile two characters without giving much reason to. Look, if you're looking for a movie with Ryan Reynolds having a decent amount of charm or a good romantic comedy...see Deadpool (#779) instead. You want my advice? Go watch another movie with a friend.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Airplane II: The Sequel.

Review #698: Airplane II: The Sequel.

Cast
Robert Hays (Ted Striker), Julie Hagerty (Elaine Dickinson), Lloyd Bridges (Steve McCroskey), Chad Everett (Simon Kurtz), Peter Graves (Captain Clarence Oveur), William Shatner (Commander Buck Murdock), Rip Torn (Bud Kruger), John Dehner (The Commissioner), Chuck Connors (The Sarge), Richard Jaeckel (Controller #2), Stephen Stucker (Jacobs / Courtroom Clerk), and Sonny Bono (Joe Seluchi) Directed by Ken Finkleman.

Review
If you pretend the first movie doesn't exist, the movie would have a shot at being okay. But because we can't just pretend movies don't exist (contrary to popular belief), Airplane II: The Sequel is proof that some movies should have just stayed dead and buried. The first movie stands as a fun spoof that manages to utilize its surroundings and make for a wonderfully awesome movie. The second movie tries way too hard in some places while trying too little in others, which all boils down to a breeze of a movie that makes you yearn for the first film again. While it's true that some of the original cast comes back, it doesn't really make the movie all too better, given that it lacks Leslie Nielsen and Robert Stack, who made the original even more enjoyable with their portrayals. It's strange that this sets place in the "near future", yet the characters haven't seemed to age a bit. Oh yeah, and there's a lunar base on the moon and commercial space travel. 33 years later, and we have neither of those things, nor do we have Rocky XXXVII. The gags for the movie are okay, but they also reuse gags as well (not to mention using flashbacks to the first film), which only reminds me as well as you what you're missing out on. The best character in the movie is only there for the last quarter of the movie, and naturally is played by William Shatner, who amuses me with his talk of the blinking, beeping, flashing lights, or maybe it's because by the end of the movie you're wishing Captain Kirk would save these idiots. What amuses me is the post-credit scene "announcing" Airplane III, composted with a line of "That's exactly what they'll be expecting us to do!", because there never was an Airplane III, and I can't imagine why. I think you already know the answer to that one. Give yourself a round of applause. And don't watch this movie, unless you like stoic disappointment.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Airplane!

Review #664: Airplane!

Cast
Robert Hays (Ted Striker), Julie Hagerty (Elaine Dickinson), Leslie Nielsen (Dr. Rumack), Peter Graves (Capt. Clarence Oveur), Lloyd Bridges (Steve McCroskey), Robert Stack (Capt. Rex Kramer), Lorna Patterson (Randy), Stephen Stucker (Johnny), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Roger Murdock), Frank Ashmore (Victor Basta), and Jonathan Banks (Gunderson) Directed by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams (#028 - Hot Shots! and #375 - Hot Shots! Part Deux), and Jerry Zucker.

Review
I knew I would eventually review this film, I just didn't know it would take so long to do so. It was worth the wait. When it comes to slapstick and having efficient gags, this is the movie people refer to for reference. But what also helps the movie is the fact the gags mesh with the story and not just outright overwhelm it. The movie is silly and also really, really, fun to watch. It's a breeze to watch, and watching how the actors react to all of this (hint: not very well) also helps. My favorite character isn't really a character, it's Otto, the inflatable balloon. It's just so amusing watching Otto, especially at the end, when he inflates...all by himself, with a inflatable girlfriend to boot. Hays and Hagerty do a fine job complimenting each other, their best scene is when they dance disco, or maybe I'm just amused of how people danced to disco (as opposed to now). Nielsen is a highlight as well, if it was anyone else playing that role, surely (see what I did there) the lines wouldn't be so memorable. The movie has dozens of gags, along with brief appearances by Ethel Merman (playing Ethel Merman) and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar...as a pilot. What I like is how the music sounds so serious, which is really funny given the tone, all due to Elmer Bernstein. The movie is quick and effective, and it's a good way to spend 90 minutes, along with being a really fun experience.

Billy...have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.