Anaconda .

Review #2123: Anaconda.

Cast: 

Jennifer Lopez (Terri Flores), Ice Cube (Danny Rich), Jon Voight (Paul Serone), Eric Stoltz (Dr. Steven Cale), Jonathan Hyde (Warren Westridge), Owen Wilson (Gary Dixon), Kari Wuhrer (Denise Kalberg), Vincent Castellanos (Mateo), with Frank Welker (Anaconda snake) and Danny Trejo (Poacherck) Directed by Luis Llosa.

Review:

Look, you know what you are getting into with a film like this, especially one released in the late 1990s. The film utilizes a mix of computer-generated imagery and animatronics for its title creature (apparently, one can see an animatronic from the film at the California Academy of Sciences). Hans Bauer, Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr wrote the screenplay, although it has been stated that Mark Haskell Smith provided a "production draft". The film was directed by Luis Llosa, a Peruvian film critic-turned-director (of course, being a cousin of noted novelist Mario Vargas Llosa is something to note). He got his start as director with Peruvian television shows such as Gamboa and Carmin before becoming a feature director with (where else?) Roger Corman productions such as Hour of the Assassin (1987) and Crime Zone (1989). Perhaps to the surprise of no one, there were follow ups; only Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) was released theatrically, although it retained no original cast members from the first film. Plans to make a reboot film are apparently in motion, which I'm sure is interesting news to those who are familiar with recent creature features such as The Meg (I still can't get over that title). 

Honestly, the film almost overrode my low expectations. You have Ice Cube making a reference to his own songs for a line. You have Jon Voight putting on a Paraguayan accent because, well, okay, sure. You have a snake that reminds me of a gummy worm when it comes to the CG moments to go with an amusingly long snake (with sound effects by Frank Welker). Top it all off, you have a character swallowed up and regurgitated that shows a shot of them blinking right before they are shown dead. Imagine all of this coming in a film about a National Geographic crew looking for an obscure tribe in the Amazon. It sure isn't Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), but it is the kind of goofy film that would fit just right from one of Corman's old features such as Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957). It probably goes without saying that a handful of sea creature features all seem to owe something to Jaws (1975), whether that involves POV shots or making creatures out to seem more dangerous than they are in the actual wild. Granted, the idea of going out in the jungle is a bit spooky, so having to deal with the idea of a snake that may eat or bite you is at least an idea I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But this is about as scary as, well, looking at a snake in a picture book. It is cheesy in every way you would expect that I can only cite as a light negative assessment. Lopez doesn't exactly have much to really do when overshadowed by obvious presences in Cube or Voight, because even being a screamer would be part of a personality. The cardboard "PG-13" folks are there just to come and go, which seems hollow when compared to other cheesy movies. Stoltz is probably given the most thankless role of the whole film, since he is basically put out of commission for half of it, which makes him pale in comparison to the ones that at least get to act in fear of the gummi snake. Undeniably, Voight seems to be the only one giving it his all when it comes to ridiculous mannerisms, a preening cliche if there ever was one to the very end that I'm sure Vincent Price would've blushed at. Hyde probably is the only one of the body-count to make an impression, even if it is a mild laugh. I do appreciate the time taken to build up a killer snake only to have one victim of the film fall at the hands of a guy who chokes a person out with their legs while tied to a board. One can do better or worse with creature features, and this is not exactly a winner, but with its evident qualities of being exactly what you expect from a 90s product that stands more of its time than older-aged films of its ilk (for better or worse), well, you get what you think you get. 

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Next: you might be wondering why Thursdays this month featured Dracula and Frankenstein films. Hell, why not? For the fourth and final time, let's get a doubleheader, starting with Blacula.

The Cell.

Review #1715: The Cell.

Cast: 

Jennifer Lopez (Dr. Catherine Deane), Vincent D'Onofrio (Carl Rudolph Stargher), Vince Vaughn (Special Agent Peter Novak), Jake Weber (Special Agent Gordon Ramsey), Dylan Baker (Henry West), Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Dr. Miriam Kent), Tara Subkoff (Julia Hickson), Catherine Sutherland (Anne Marie Vicksey), Colton James (Edward Baines), Musetta Vander (Ella Baines), Patrick Bauchau (Lucien Baines), James Gammon (Teddy Lee), Jake Thomas (Young Carl Rudolph Stargher), and Dean Norris (Cole) Directed by Tarsem Singh.

Review: 

"The thing about this film is it’s an opera, and there is no such thing as a subtle opera.”

Sure, there are no easy solutions to making a 21st century movie that exceeds the clichés expected from horror or science fiction. At least one knows that there won't be a hampering when it comes to trying to include certain kinds of imagery or attempts at imagination when it comes to trying to show the mind of a killer. Of course, one has to borrow from the traditions of the past by casting singers-turned-actors and trying to crib from better movies while trying to ride hard on imagery and a few decent side performances, complete with costume design from the person who brought you Bram Stoker's Dracula (complete with that same red suit from eight years prior, which looks just as silly as it did back then). Now, that isn't too fair to a director in their debut feature (released 21 years ago). Tarsem Singh actually started as a music video director, doing so for a handful of bands and commercial brands before he got his chance to direct; in two decades, he has directed four further films, although this is obviously the one that stands out for most folks, one where he reportedly aimed for a film like "opera" rather than just a movie about a serial killer. This was the first feature script of Mark Protosevich, who utilized his fascination with serial killers to go with an interest into seeing into one's dreams (while noting stuff like Dreamscape (1984) in that familiarity discussion); while he noted that it could have had more classic suspense, he still appreciated the final result as one that provokes a strong response of both praise and disdain.

Does one desire style over substance? Well, you will get plenty of that here, since one is basically watching a brazen take of The Silence of the Lambs (1991) but with less subtlety (a guy who likes to torture the victim while with a dog that partakes in perverted things? Gee, I wonder...) and horror that is basically a step behind stuff like Seven (1995). Honestly, if you take out most of the attempts at style, this might have been a step away from being something to really make fun of. One probably wonders where the horror and sci-fi merge, well, someone just happens to learn about some new cool secret technology involving virtual reality. Given that a child psychologist can use the technology and fail in the art of navigating a lost child beyond the (music video) dreamscape, one wonders just how they are going to do with a serial killer. Actually, I don't have to guess, because she can't even do it on her own, which is where one needs more of Vaughn (because I guess anyone can just put on the suit and have the cloth put over the head or whatever). The strange thing is that the imagery doesn't really seem to sway me one way or the other when it comes to the side of praise or disdain, since it tries to go hand in hand with generating sympathy for the person having their mind probed...but as the saying goes, all one is doing is putting lipstick on a pig. The makeup looks nice, but watching one long music video with the bare minimum of story only works if I really care about what is going on here, and I've seen movies like that (Tommy (1975)), and they had more tricks up their sleeve.  Simply put, Lopez is not the one to hold a movie like this, one that desires a more interesting presence (again, not to bring up Lambs again, but a Jodie Foster equivalent wouldn't be a bad start) that can goes beyond seeming quizzically confused, complete with elaborate costuming. The dynamic between her and the kid version of the killer is flimsy and ultimately lacking in moral weight, mostly because she mishandles her part of the climax to where one might as well watch dinner theater instead. Incidentally, D'Onofrio is quite interesting here. Really the killer always seems to be more interesting than the hunter in these films, and he seems to draw out the most curious moments that work for the film, one with an aura of creeping presence without seeming like a cliche. Vaughn probably touches upon the usual expectations of the type of role seen in these films, but I respect his commitment to taking a serious role. He certainly seems more right at home with an off kilter agent than Lopez does, that is for sure, mostly because he actually treats the scifi stuff with the reserved charm that comes from not caring about exposition/music video imagery (the rest are fairly disposable, and wasting Gammon for just two scenes has to be a crime). For a movie that fiddles around near two hours with an eye for imagery, I found it very middling in terms of actual interest generated when it came to staying power in what it showed (i.e. one is thinking of better movies when watching a mediocre one). One might as well shove jagged keys in the face with how off kilter everything is, since the narrative doesnt hold too much water beyond a few contrivances that go down the river when it comes to the climax that has a share of predictability (gee, will the victim in a box of water really drown?) even with the whole sequence of Lopez bringing the killer into her world. If I dont really buy into what the movie is selling me, than the imagery isnt going to sway me all that much. As a whole, it has a look that surely will please those in the mood for what it has to show, but the rest of its foundation is a shaky, unwieldy, and overall disappointing mess that could have certainly been worse. Sometimes you can get by with effects and a few (but not all) good support from the cast, but this is not one of those times. 

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Hustlers

Review #1661: Hustlers.

Cast:

Constance Wu (Destiny), Jennifer Lopez (Ramona Vega), Julia Stiles (Elizabeth), Keke Palmer (Mercedes), Lili Reinhart (Annabelle), Lizzo (Liz), Cardi B (Diamond), Mercedes Ruehl (Mama), Wai Ching Ho (Destiny's grandmother), Madeline Brewer (Dawn), Trace Lysette (Tracey), Mette Towley (Justice), Frank Whaley (Reese), Paul Nielsen (Detective Hunter), Brandon Keener (Alpha), and Steven Boyer (Doug) Written and Directed by Lorene Scafaria.

Review:

"There’s a responsibility to the truth and what really happened, and it’s not a black and white story, after all.”

Time is an important thing to think about when it comes to a film and its story. After all, it has only been two years since the release of this film, but one wonders how much it will be remembered, much less the person behind it with Lorene Scafaria, fresh off her third feature film (well, two years is still fresh, in this decade...). The New Jersey native was interested in writing from a young age; in fourth grade, for example, she would find interest in "inventing" a book to write a report on in order to win free pizza for those who read the most books (with ensuing reports) - by high school, she would become interested in acting and writing her own plays (inspired by playwrights such as David Mamet) and fiction, for which she would write her first play at 17. She studied for a year at Lafayette College (where she briefly honed time to be involved with plays) before tuition troubles led her to transfer to Montclair State University, for which she studied in English that focused on playwriting and fiction. Prior to entering directing, she had been involved with acting alongside writing for theater productions before entering film with a screenplay adaptation in Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008), and Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) was her feature debut. The film is inspired by the article "The Hustlers at Scores", which was written by Jessica Pressler in 2015 based on true events that had an interview from Roselyn Keo (the operator of the business end of targeting wealthy clients) that led to jail-time for two workers and probation for others involving substances and stolen money, which involved conspiracy, grand larceny, assault and forgery (incidentally, one of the ringleaders ended up writing a book about their experiences). Not long after its publication, the rights to make the film were acquired by Gloria Sanchez Productions (with Jessica Elbaum, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay serving as producers, alongside others that joined later like Lopez). Scafaria was attracted by the article in the "fascinating friendship story at its core", complete with the perspective of the article writer involved alongside the subject at hand. When Scafaria had finished the script in 2017, she was not exactly the first one in mind to direct the feature, with producers initially seeking out directors that were familiar with the type of genre the script fell into, which included asking Martin Scorsese (who declined) and thoughts about Adam McKay (who served as one of the producers of the film) - it took a sizzle reel created by Scafaria alongside editor Kayla Emter to help convince the producers to have Scafaria be the director.

Perhaps it should not be surprising that it took some time to attract attention from studios to get the film made, as they could see the commercial value but had un-comfortability with the subject matter (as if one needs to make sure that the marks have to also all be worthy of being so, despite the fact that the film is playing by the beats of an article), in addition to the judgement shared of the profession at hand (not reporting the terrible things that have happened to them is a different story), and the article itself started out by describing those folks as "(mostly) rich, (usually) disgusting, (in their minds) pathetic men" - basically, it is a film of supply and demand. The film has its touches that might make one think of a modern-day Robin Hood tale or (indirectly) Goodfellas (1990). With films like The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) and The Big Short (2015), perhaps one really does in an age of scammer-infused curiosity for entertainment. Consider the perspective of Kao, who in an interview about her life after ending the hustle, stated "I think a lot of women are rooting for me even though I was wrong.” (conversely, two of the women involved with the scheme want nothing to do with the limelight while the other sued the filmmakers for defamation - she lost, naturally). Oh sure, the music also probably plays a small part in the interest, since Scafaria intended it to help tell the story that would range from Janet Jackson to Bob Seger (naturally, the musical inclinations will differ for some, since I dig "Night Moves" more than anything). In the end, what matters most is what you get out of the experience) when it comes to a story with a perspective that is not usually told often - in that sense, it makes for a fine movie. It never quite reaches any major heights beyond a few clever moments within the crime angle and occasional charm, but there is an undeniable allure to the performances that come out within the main quartet that make for a dazzling curiosity with its look upon a world that might have people as mercenary as the folks on Wall Street that they ended up dealing with. Wu, best known for her starring roles in Fresh Off the Boat (2015–2020) and Crazy Rich Asians (2018), manages to hold pretty well to drawing one in as the focus without being lost in the lights and the other noted names behind her, having a carefully controlled sense of confidence that leads the story along with care. Lopez is of course the other side of the leading coin, and she delivers quite well on a captivating performance, one that dazzles in ruthless charm that strings the viewer with interest from the very first scene she is in (a dance scene, perhaps fittingly), and it is clear to see why she was Scafaria's first choice for the role, since she walks right through it with ease in amorality. Honestly, my quibble doesn't exist with Stiles but rather just my disagreement with the need for the journalist to be included as part of the story in the first place - it's an okay performance, mostly just there for little moments with Wu probing about the events that happened, but it just never really clicks to anything other than one just nodding their head (while trying to not drone the inevitable "X didn't do that in its crime story" statement in my head). Palmer and Reinhart finish the main group just fine, while cameos from folks such as Lizzo and Ruehl serve the film in atmosphere well enough. At any rate, it was interesting to have the article on hand (for research) to see what ended up being used anyway, for which there are quite a handful of excerpts that are shown for the film that prove fairly accurate, such as the man who liked one of the girls because of pretty penmanship and is then called out of the blue years later by our main lead (as part of a "Get Money" list), the listing of where the money goes when it comes to pay for the workers (minus expenses for the DJ, etc...), and even the events with a sympathetic unlucky client (who had a recording!) that starts a case against the girls that is accentuated by further tabloid cases of others (such as a cardiologist who apparently had a $130,000 bill from four trips to a club that did not want to pay). In any case, 110 minutes is just enough to keep the crime story fairly interesting, wrapped with a bit of introspection about the nature of the con at hand and the drive for more in a scenario that practically (but not literally) invited it. It never wavers on itself for too long to collapse, making for interesting entertainment that will attract those who seek a fair crime story with a distinct perspective and style to go with it to make for a good time.

Next Time: For the last film of the month, we reach the new decade with Wander Darkly.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars

The Boy Next Door.

Review #924: The Boy Next Door.

Cast:
Jennifer Lopez (Claire Peterson), Ryan Guzman (Noah Sandborn), Ian Nelson (Kevin Peterson), John Corbett (Garrett Peterson), Kristin Chenoweth (Vicky Lansing), Lexi Atkins (Allie Callahan), and Hill Harper (Principal Edward Warren) Directed by Rob Cohen (#043 - The Fast and the Furious)

Review:
Simply put, this is the equivalent of a Lifetime movie, with the "saucy" details turned slightly up, with the range of cheesy acting intact. This isn't an awful movie, but it isn't a movie worth caring too much about. There are things to laugh about (Guzman, looking at least five years older than the 19 year old he is supposed to be playing), but it isn't exactly a "so bad its good" kind of film, because it is simply just a dull flick. As a thriller, it doesn't have much in terms of excitement, and it definitely doesn't have any sort of passion present in any of these characters. Lopez is probably the best  actor in the film, merely because she has the most presence (Corbett comes second, at least for me anyway), though she can't save the movie from being a dry sponge. Guzman isn't much of a villain, nor much of any kind of presence. Apparently, the original screenplay by Barbara Curry was about a neighborhood boy making conflict between a family. Naturally, this was change, where the age of the boy next door being changed along with her being separated from her husband. I do wonder if the dialogue was as bland in that screenplay as it is on screen, where atmosphere and any sense of engaging in anything that these characters say and do is completely washed out. One easy low-light is Guzman's character giving Lopez's character a first edition of The Iliad. I can't tell which part is sillier, the idea that this would seem convincing, the cleanliness of the "book", or this "bond" that they share for the book. The climax (in which it is three versus one) is just as bland, in part because there is no real sense of energy. In any case, this is clearly not a movie made for me, but it is also does not seem to be a movie for people looking for something beyond their Lifetime products. If you want to waste 90 minutes, this is probably a bit high on the list, but even schlocky sci-fi films (#755 - Starcrash, for example) work better than this.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Antz.

Review #254: Antz.

Cast
Woody Allen (Z), Sharon Stone (Princess Bala), Gene Hackman (Mandible), Sylvester Stallone (Weaver), Jennifer Lopez (Azteca), Christopher Walken (Cutter), and Anne Bancroft (Queen) Directed by Eric Darnell (#154 - Madagascar 2 and #165 - Madagascar) and Tim Johnson.

Review
You might be (or not) thinking that this is a rip off of A Bug's Life. Is it? Well...No. Pretty much the opposite. The film is more risque (in some respects) than Bug's Life, some of it being funny, some not as much. The animation is decent for 1998 standards. This was the first DreamWorks Animation film, released before The Prince of Egypt. The acting is reasonable good, even from Woody Allen (Who I seem to not like for some certain reason) The film is a typical length of 83 minutes, which is reasonable. In the end, the film has some good moments in DreamWorks Animation's first foray into film.

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Selena.

Review #051: Selena.

Cast
Jennifer Lopez (Selena Quintanilla-Pérez), Jackie Guerra (Suzette Quintanilla), Constance Marie (Marcella Quintanilla), Alexandra Meneses (Sara), Jon Seda (Chris Pérez), Edward James Olmos (Abraham Quintanilla Jr), and Jacob Vargas (A.B. Quintanilla) Directed by Gregory Nava.

Review
This film is about Selena (obviously), the famous singer who brought Tejano music to a new high. The film introduces you to her life from when she and her family performed when she was 10, to her sucess, her secret marriage, all the way until her tragic death on March 31, 1995. The acting is good, especiallly from Lopez in her breakout role. This film is a good biopic about the singer who will always be remembered, Selena (again, obviously).

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 Stars.