Anaconda .

Review #2123: Anaconda.

Cast: 

Jennifer Lopez (Terri Flores), Ice Cube (Danny Rich), Jon Voight (Paul Serone), Eric Stoltz (Dr. Steven Cale), Jonathan Hyde (Warren Westridge), Owen Wilson (Gary Dixon), Kari Wuhrer (Denise Kalberg), Vincent Castellanos (Mateo), with Frank Welker (Anaconda snake) and Danny Trejo (Poacherck) Directed by Luis Llosa.

Review:

Look, you know what you are getting into with a film like this, especially one released in the late 1990s. The film utilizes a mix of computer-generated imagery and animatronics for its title creature (apparently, one can see an animatronic from the film at the California Academy of Sciences). Hans Bauer, Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr wrote the screenplay, although it has been stated that Mark Haskell Smith provided a "production draft". The film was directed by Luis Llosa, a Peruvian film critic-turned-director (of course, being a cousin of noted novelist Mario Vargas Llosa is something to note). He got his start as director with Peruvian television shows such as Gamboa and Carmin before becoming a feature director with (where else?) Roger Corman productions such as Hour of the Assassin (1987) and Crime Zone (1989). Perhaps to the surprise of no one, there were follow ups; only Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) was released theatrically, although it retained no original cast members from the first film. Plans to make a reboot film are apparently in motion, which I'm sure is interesting news to those who are familiar with recent creature features such as The Meg (I still can't get over that title). 

Honestly, the film almost overrode my low expectations. You have Ice Cube making a reference to his own songs for a line. You have Jon Voight putting on a Paraguayan accent because, well, okay, sure. You have a snake that reminds me of a gummy worm when it comes to the CG moments to go with an amusingly long snake (with sound effects by Frank Welker). Top it all off, you have a character swallowed up and regurgitated that shows a shot of them blinking right before they are shown dead. Imagine all of this coming in a film about a National Geographic crew looking for an obscure tribe in the Amazon. It sure isn't Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), but it is the kind of goofy film that would fit just right from one of Corman's old features such as Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957). It probably goes without saying that a handful of sea creature features all seem to owe something to Jaws (1975), whether that involves POV shots or making creatures out to seem more dangerous than they are in the actual wild. Granted, the idea of going out in the jungle is a bit spooky, so having to deal with the idea of a snake that may eat or bite you is at least an idea I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But this is about as scary as, well, looking at a snake in a picture book. It is cheesy in every way you would expect that I can only cite as a light negative assessment. Lopez doesn't exactly have much to really do when overshadowed by obvious presences in Cube or Voight, because even being a screamer would be part of a personality. The cardboard "PG-13" folks are there just to come and go, which seems hollow when compared to other cheesy movies. Stoltz is probably given the most thankless role of the whole film, since he is basically put out of commission for half of it, which makes him pale in comparison to the ones that at least get to act in fear of the gummi snake. Undeniably, Voight seems to be the only one giving it his all when it comes to ridiculous mannerisms, a preening cliche if there ever was one to the very end that I'm sure Vincent Price would've blushed at. Hyde probably is the only one of the body-count to make an impression, even if it is a mild laugh. I do appreciate the time taken to build up a killer snake only to have one victim of the film fall at the hands of a guy who chokes a person out with their legs while tied to a board. One can do better or worse with creature features, and this is not exactly a winner, but with its evident qualities of being exactly what you expect from a 90s product that stands more of its time than older-aged films of its ilk (for better or worse), well, you get what you think you get. 

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Next: you might be wondering why Thursdays this month featured Dracula and Frankenstein films. Hell, why not? For the fourth and final time, let's get a doubleheader, starting with Blacula.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

Review #1494: Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

Cast:
Zach Galligan (Billy Peltzer), Phoebe Cates (Kate Beringer), John Glover (Daniel Clamp), Robert Prosky (Grandpa Fred), Robert Picardo (Forster, chief of security), Christopher Lee (Doctor Cushing Catheter), Haviland Morris (Marla Bloodstone), Dick Miller (Murray Futterman), Jackie Joseph (Sheila Futterman), Gedde Watanabe (Mr. Katsuji), and Keye Luke (Mr. Wing), with Howie Mandel (Gizmo), Tony Randall (Brain Gremlin), and Frank Welker (Mohawk, Other Gremlins) Directed by Joe Dante (#007 - Looney Tunes: Back in Action, #096 - Gremlins, and #097 - Small Soldiers)

Review:
"It's the one time someone came to me and said: 'We want this movie and we don't care what it is. Do whatever you want, just give it to us by this date."

When it comes to underappreciated directors, Joe Dante certainly deserves consideration. He grew up with an interest in cartoons alongside watching matinee films as a youth. While a graduate of the Philadelphia College of Art, it was Roger Corman who Dante honed his craft into becoming a filmmaker, initially starting out in the trailer-cutting department at New World Pictures. He made his debut with Hollywood Boulevard (1976), co-directing with Allan Arkush along with editing the film. His first minor triumph was Piranha (1978), and The Howling (1981) helped get his foot in the door with Warner Bros. to make Gremlins (1984). The original film is a triumph of comedy and horror, dark and entertaining that had attracted attention for their effects (and of course, complaints from folks who managed to be fooled by the Christmas setting and critics of violence that don't know any better and are rightfully made fun of here) along with being a key force in the creation of the PG-13 rating. It is entirely possible that this is a sequel that was just a little too late to the party. It took six years for a sequel to Gremlins to arrive into theaters and its director Joe Dante had to be convinced to even do another film in the first place, and he was granted creative control and a bigger budget. Charlie Haas would take over in writing duty (the original had been done by Chris Columbus), who moved the action to New York City with satirical elements all throughout the film, such as the advent of cable television (most notably with Ted Turner) and sequels in general that was more cartoonish than dark, with Dante describing it as one of his most personal films.

It's a shame that this wasn't too successful on release, because I enjoyed it just as much as the original Gremlins. The quality is just about even here, replacing its dark sentiment for cartoonish anarchy that manage to resonate just as much in amusement. It touches upon elements of the original without being smothered by expectations or becoming too much of an effects show, and it does so without becoming dated. It does what one could want for someone with a clear interest in having a good time at the movies in a similar vein to someone like William Castle or even in cartoons with Chuck Jones (who provided the animation for the opening/closing titles). Galligan returns alongside Cates, and each prove just fine in providing continuity and some small moments of levity among themselves and some sort of Mogwai mayhem. Of course the real focus is on Glover, wrapped in spry curiosity that is very much in his element with a bit of camp enjoyment. Prosky, imitating Al Lewis' portryal of another famous horror Grandpa that hosted a horror TV segment, does just fine with mixing camp and care that does lend itself to some quick smiles. Picardo does fine with smarmy chuckles, but the true curiosity ineviably turns to Lee, with that solumn voice going just right with the cliches required for some momentary smiles. Miller and Joseph also return for a quick turn around with the creatures, while Morris and the Mogwai voices round out the cast just fine. Like before, there are quite a handful of cameos lurking around, most notably with Leonard Maltin being dragged away by unsatisfied viewer gremlins. The effects are always lurking in one's mind, and Rick Baker does a tremendous job with delivering some distinct creatures (with a mix of puppetry like before and also mechanical work and stop motion) that get to do a bit more madcap action, such as a bat gremlin for example. The plot threads verge a bit familar at times with its structure, but it makes up for it with some interesting tricks of offbeat humor (such as having the film be stopped and then re-started) that goes in the right direction to make a fun time worthy of further inspection as a quality sequel and an interesting film to highlight for the start of the 1990s.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

And now, the schedule for this month, a mix of familiar and new faces on and behind the camera as one approaches the end of the millennium. 

Movie Night: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.

Review #439: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

Cast
Brian Tochi (Leonardo), Robbie Rist (Michelangelo), Adam Carl (Donatello), Laurie Faso (Raphael), Kevin Clash (Splinter), Paige Turco (April O'Neil), David McCharen (Shredder), David Warner (Jordan Perry), Ernie Reyes Jr (Keno), and Frank Welker (Voices of Tokka and Rahzar) Directed by Michael Pressman.

Review
Almost 400 reviews ago, I reviewed the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, and I liked it, it was fun to watch, it had good action, and it aimed for a specific goal of entertainment succeeded. The second aims a bit lower, with more silliness and puns. And...it isn't half bad. While not as good as the first, the second film doesn't veer off completely off the deep end, though crashing into a rap concert by Vanilla Ice comes extremely close to the deep end. The actors are fine, not too shabby. Shredder with Bebop and- I mean Tokka and Rahzar are okay, and while the action is injected with silliness, it manages to at least have some entertainment, not as much as the first, but just enough for some, I suppose.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: TerrorVision.

Review #401: TerrorVision.

Cast
Chad Allen (Sherman Putterman), Diane Franklin (Suzy Putterman), Mary Woronov (Raquel Putterman), Gerrit Graham (Stanley Putterman), Bert Remsen (Grampa Putterman), Jon Gries (O.D.), Jennifer Richards (Medusa), Alejandro Rey (Spiro), Randi Brooks (Cherry), and Frank Welker (Hungry Beast Alien) Directed by Ted Nicolaou.

Review
This film boasts...no recognizable actors playing cliched characters. Actually I take that back. The actor voicing the monster is more recognizable, but anything Frank Welker does usually is easy to guess. But hey, sometimes a film with actors that at least have Wikipedia pages can have success, like the movie Sweet 15 (#070), though that wasn't a monster movie. And...it's mediocre. It certainly does boast film footage from other films, from Robot Monster to The Giant Claw, but that only reminds me that both of those films were terrible. This feels intentional, with the monster effects actually better than the characters and the story teetering on mediocrity. Trying to describe the acting is like trying to describe a rock, it's way too easy. The film runs short at about 90 minutes, which by now feels really familiar. It does manage to entertain some sort of audience and it at least manages to be better than Leprechaun or the 2010 version of A Nightmare of Elm Street, which is...some sort of comfort.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Review #301: How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Cast
Jim Carrey (The Grinch), Taylor Momsen (Cindy Lou Who), Frank Welker (Max), Jeffrey Tambor (Augustus May Who), Christine Baranski (Martha May Whovier), Bill Irwin (Lou Lou Who), Molly Shannon (Betty Lou Who), Clint Howard (Whobris), Mindy Sterling (Clarnella), and Anthony Hopkins (Narrator) Directed by Ron Howard.

Review
In my review of The Cat in the Hat (#210), I mentioned the How The Grinch Stole Christmas film in one line of the rhyme (don't ask) Even the Grinch has a better film. 91 reviews later, the being known as irony has come, and so here I am reviewing this. Does it live up to the so called rhyme? It certainly is better The Cat in the Hat, but this can't escape the reaches of the thing known as criticism. To be fair, Jim Carrey (Who is very familiar here: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, Batman Forever, Mr. Popper's Penguins) does a show stealing job, even if sometimes he is a bit grating on the ears. The rest of the aspects varies severly. There are some decent performances by the supporting cast (Let's face it, in any Carrey film (That I've reviewed), he pretty much overshadows the entire cast), but there are some...oddities. Let me get this out of the way, but I loved the 1966 animated special and the 1957 book (By Theodore Geisel [Also known as Dr. Seuss]), but this isn't really in terms of...love. The makeup, while admirable for the effort, isn't really necessary. I do wonder if there is a Doctor in Whoville though. And then there's the main problem that in a way is connected with the other Seuss film adaptation. It's that the characters are radically changed from their original inception. While in the special the Whos were not really characterized other then just citizens who loved the spirit of Christmas, I could at least get their motivation and admire it. Here, the Whos are just...mean spirited. And that even extends to the Grinch's origin (Due to the Who's. Oh hey, that rhymed. But I don't have time.), which feels souless. Perhaps it was meant to be that way, instead of the Who's being happy with what they had, make them the opposite to try and make an interesting story. Then I realize that violates the spirit and soul of Dr. Seuss and his books. The last 20 or so minutes do attempt to be more like the book, but that doesn't help as much. In the end, while their is some sort of dialouge with a bit of comedy, it is hampered by a flawed script that doesn't capture much of the book of the lesson at all. But I will indulge you in a rhyme once again.

The Grinch is indeed better then the Cat,
But it really isn't much better then that.
Jim Carrey does a decent job,
But this still might make you sob.
Not in a good way,
But in a head shaking foray.
The spirit of the book is messed with,
It will give you an absolute fit.
Go watch the special instead,
You won't have the feeling of dread.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Great Mouse Detective.

Review #230: The Great Mouse Detective.

Cast
Barrie Ingham (Basil), Val Bettin (David Q. Dawson), Vincent Price (Professor Rattigan), Susanne Pollatschek (Olivia Flaversham), Candy Candido (Fidget), Alan Young (Mr. Flaversham), and Frank Welker (Toby/Felicia) Directed by Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, Ron Clements and John Musker (Aladdin - #156)

Review
The film is based off the Basil of Baker Street books, which were about a mouse detective similar to Sherlock Holmes. The film has a lot of fun with that premise indeed. To begin with, the acting is decent, with the dynamic between Ingham and Bettin working for the most part. But the main stanout is Vincent Price. He's delightfully wonderful here, threatning in tone and voice. The animation looks allright, it's aged well. All in all, the film is entertaining enough to grant interest for everyone.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Transformers: The Movie.

Review #190: The Transformers: The Movie.

Cast
Judd Nelson (Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime), Leonard Nimoy (Galvatron), Robert Stack (Ultra Magnus), Lionel Stander (Kup), Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime), Frank Welker (Megatron), Susan Blu (Arcee), David Mendenhall (Daniel Witwicky), Eric Idle (Wreck-Gar), Neil Ross (Springer), John Moschitta (Blurr), and Orson Welles (Unicron) Directed by Nelson Shin.

Review
This film came after the show attracted kids everywhere with its premise and its usefulness. Anyway, the film may seem like a commercial for the upcoming third season for the show, but I find it is not so black and white as it seems. The voice acting is allright, with Orson Welles, the man who had impressed audiances everywhere 40 years earlier, entertains in his final role...as a planet. The visuals are impreesive, keeping you entertained in a typicalish run time of 84 minutes. I like that it doesn't stray from its themes of destruction fear. Though some might feel that it basically is a way to sell new toys, frankly I don't mind. I didn't grew up with these toys, I grew with Lego, so there ya go. Good visuals with good acting make a decent film. While the three films that would follow 20 years later might have been...whatever you might thnk (Reviews #57 and #58 are my opinions) It may not have been a big success whn it came out, but it at least is recgonized today for being more then meets the eye. Countdown to 200: 10...

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Aladdin.

Review #156: Aladdin.

Cast
Scott Weinger (Aladdin), Robin Williams (The Genie), Jonathan Freeman as Jafar, Linda Larkin (Princess Jasmine), Frank Welker (Abu), Gilbert Gottfried (Iago), and Douglas Seale (The Sultan) Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker.

Review
Aladdin is a film I thought would be an annoying gesture of weird that has Robin Williams, but it instead is actually a magical wonderful flick from the good old days of *shudders* Disney (Wow, 1992 is old? 20 years go fast) The voice acting is good, especially from Robin Williams who is less annoying then usual with characters that might not be as good as usual. The music is alright (Even if I don't care for what is called an "animated musical") The film has some decent jokes, as this film is reasonably entertaining from Disney...

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Gremlins.

Review #096: Gremlins.

Cast
Zach Galligan (Billy Peltzer), Phoebe Cates (Kate Beringer), Hoyt Axton (Rand Peltzer), Frances Lee McCain (Lynn Peltzer), Corey Feldman (Pete Fountaine), Frank Welker (Stripe and Mogwai), Howie Mandel (Gizmo), Keye Luke (Grandfather), John Louie (Grandson), Dick Miller (Murray Futterman), Jackie Joseph (Sheila Futterman) Directed by Joe Dante (#007 - Looney Tunes: Back in Action)

Review
The film is thrilling after it begins innocently enough with little mogwai and such. The acting is standard, but we know we really are here for. The gremlins. The gremlins are excellent in effects and personality. It's a dark film, especially when the lead actress delivers why she doesn't celebrate Christmas. It's interesting when you see the Gremlins and the characters duke it out rather then see the beginning, but never the less it's still an interesting film to watch. We are close to 100 Reviews. Countdown: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4...

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Review #058: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Cast
Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky), Megan Fox (Mikaela Banes), Josh Duhamel (William Lennox), Tyrese Gibson (Rob Epps), John Turturro (Seymour Simmons), Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime), Mark Ryan (Jetfire), Reno Wilson (Mudflap), Jess Harnell (Ironhide), Robert Foxworth (Ratchet), André Sogliuzzo as Sideswipe), Grey DeLisle (Arcee), Hugo Weaving (Megatron), Tony Todd (The Fallen), Charlie Adler (Starscream), Frank Welker (Soundwave/Devastator/Reedman), and Tom Kenny (Wheelie/Skids) Directed by Michael Bay.

Review
This film is the last of "Movies in Oregon", which lasted for 16 reviews (#043-#058), with this being the climax. Or the disappointment. Anyway, this film is actually less enjoyable then the first, as this film tries to have even more close ups of robots (and one's...balls?), explosions, and acting that still doesn't work out. The film tries with the script plagued by a strike that makes Cybertron symbols happen to our Sam, with our transportation to the desert random with robots attacking again. It's a popcorn movie where the popcorn is injected with Powerade while overflowed with Red Bull. Skids and Mudflap makes you want to watch Jar-Jar Binks and appreciate how there weren't two of him. This film tries and fails hard. Thank goodness I've never watched the third film (EDIT: Or the fourth one. EDIT: Or the fifth one).

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.