Satanic Hispanics.

Review #2086: Satanic Hispanics.

Cast: 

"The Traveler" segment: Efren Ramirez (The Traveler), Greg Grunberg (Detective Arden), and Sonya Eddy (Detective Gibbons) Directed by Mike Mendez. "También Lo Vi” segment: Demian Salomon (Gustavo) Directed by Demián Rugna. “El Vampiro” segment: Hemky Madera (El Vampiro) and Patricia Velasquez (Maribel) Directed by Eduardo Sánchez (#1294 - The Blair Witch Project). “Nahuales” segment: Ari Gallegos (De La Cruz) Directed by Gigi Saul Guerrero. “The Hammer of Zanzibar” segment: Jonah Ray (Malcolm), Jacob Vargas (El Jefe) and Morgana Ignis (King Zombie) Directed by Alejandro Brugues.

Review: 

Admittedly, the title gets your attention. Latino or not, I'm sure we all appreciate an attempt at giving you a bunch of stories for the price of one. The film was originally shown on the festival circuit in the fall of 2022, but it is only now that one can have a chance (if in certain areas, obviously) to see it in a theater, which I had the chance to do on a late Thursday night. There are three writers credited in Pete Barnstrom, Alejandro Mendez, and Lino K. Villa. Viewers that like to delve into even more films than the usual standard may recognize at least one of the five filmmakers present here, whether that involves the obvious one in Eduardo Sanchez (director of the original The Blair Witch Project), or perhaps Mike Mendez (with the aptly titled Big Ass Spider!) or Alejandro Brugues and his Cuban-Spanish zombie production Juan of the Dead (2010), Gigi Saul Guerrero (Bingo Hell) or with the Argentian Demián Rugna (Terrified). 

The first segment is really just the wraparound in between segments, unless you really want to consider the story beyond two bland detectives trying to pay attention to what an alleged immortal is telling them. The film is 105 minutes (credits included), but for the sake of my amusement, I elected to give you a minute count for each little segment. Technically, it is the longest segment, since it has its own climax (involving San La Muerte) and structure (swat team finding a guy cutting his hand leading to a detective meeting before eventually getting to who that figure is going after and you get it) that make it run about 30 minutes when you add it up, but I'll be damned if I can say anything positive about the parts around its title character. Ramirez actually is quite effective, ice cold in mystery that really does seem the type of person who has things beyond the usual comprehension that we humans have. Granted, it is communicated with a number of cliches, but he holds his ground. The same can't be said for his two counterparts (Grunberg and Eddy), who make the whole proceeding seem nearly pointless in even having a wraparound segment, as if Tales from the Crypt (1972) wasn't an ideal way to just do a wraparound segment to "tie it together". It depends on what you think should matter most in an anthology film, a wraparound trying to make a loose connection to the stories to come...or just having a bunch of stories and getting on with it. Any way you put it, "The Traveler" is okay but probably would've been just as fine in a trimmer form.

The second segment ("También Lo Vi") runs at 22 minutes. It involves a prodigy that likes to deal with Rubik's cubes in a really fast manner and (for whatever reason) dabble between Spanish and English within conversation. It ends up being framed as a semi-solid ghost story that plays the one setting it has (a haunted house) to the trimmings you would expect without skimping on those moments of gore (you can say it for the segments minus the Traveler, but hey). The ending is perhaps a bit convenient, but as the title goes, one really can see it too in wondering just what lies beneath puzzles and eyesight. The third segment (“El Vampiro”) runs at 19 minutes. Your milage may vary on the segment, since it is the goofiest of the four that Sanchez has stated was influenced in comedy by letting his star in Madera be himself. Those who find vampire comedies such as, say, Vampira (1974) or Love at First Bite (1979) to beyond their funny bone tastes will probably roll their eyes a bit. However, the jokes that come from a paunchy vampire trying to fiddle his way out of a city amused me with its campy energy, and Madera makes a solid presence of an old fool who finds that beneath all of the cheap thrill of blood is a thrill for being with the blood that has tied him for years. Eh, it isn't exactly the best segment for the horror kicks, but, well, it tickled my interest, so that works out.

 

The fourth segment ("Nahuales") runs at 19 minutes and is probably the most infused in folklore to go with its effects for the eventual climax. The effects stand out the best here in a snarling and violent feature involving spirit beings within ancient Mexican lore. As such, it asks just where the real monster lies beneath the surface. So yes, that is the segment that probably could linger in your head moreso than the others, although it is hard to say just which segment really fits the overall film title more than this one, but this one might have been the best one to fit its own film. The final segment (“The Hammer of Zanzibar”) runs for 19 minutes that deals with trying to deal with a demon after a mishap involving recordings and folks falling into the hand of death, with a mild performance from Ray. Admittedly, one can find it a bit odd that the middle of the segment finds time to spend on a cock-and-bull story about just what a "hammer of Zanzibar" really is that involves a joke that comes and goes and comes and goes and you get the idea. Eh, I do appreciate jokes run into the ground when it seems dumb enough to do so for bad taste, but I won't exactly make fun of someone who thinks of it as something to cringe at and not cringe with. At any rate, it is decently executed when it comes to the overall result, albeit with a lasting twist that perhaps isn't the best punchline possible (there is a line said right after the story ends that is funny, but if you have a hammer that looks like a certain shape, how could you not use said shape for the obvious joke?). As a whole, one will probably find something to appreciate within the attempt to play on Hispanic culture for a meaningful film for those who want something with roots that seem right at home. It is a mediocre anthology film in the manner that you can see in various other examples, one that has a few highs and no true low points to make a passable recommendation for those who linger inward at the sight of the title rather than smirking away. Whether you are the type to say Hispanic on a silly survey question or not (or be the odd man "Other"), this mixed bag of tales may or may not fit the bill in getting a start in the great fall season of spooks and scares. The best saying for the film is that you get "más y menos" of what you hope for at least one tolerable viewing experience.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

The Blair Witch Project.

Review #1294: The Blair Witch Project.

Cast: 
Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, Michael C. Williams, Bob Griffin (Short Fisherman), Jim King (Interviewee), Sandra Sánchez (Waitress), Ed Swanson (Fisherman With Glasses), and Patricia DeCou (Mary Brown) Directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez.

Review: 
Sometimes you need to check out something different with horror. Found footage horror is the presentation of film as being "discovered", for which it is generally seen in real-time through its characters, with the cinematography being "done" by the camera-holder, which may result in some shaky camera work or raw acting. This was not the first found footage of its kind (Cannibal Holocaust was released in 1980, with its content resulting in obscenity charges for its director), but this film certainly helped give popularity to the idea of making films like this, for which one could still see in the following decade with films such as Paranormal Activity or Cloverfield. Twenty hours of footage was shot over the course of eight days, for which the editing took eight months to make an 82 minute run-time. With a budget of $60,000 and a midnight premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 1999, the film became a surprise hit as one of the most successful independent films of all time with a gross of over $200 million, and two sequels followed in 2000 and 2016. It definitely is a successful tale of marketing through the Internet, with a (still-running) website that meant to portray the film events as real with stuff such as police reports, interviews, "missing" flyers and a mockumentary that premiered around the film's release that gave backstory details.

If one really does find themselves scared of the unexplained, of the paranormal phenomena that one cannot see right away that keeps you off balance, then you will likely get a kick out of this film. For me, I couldn't find myself really being that scared at nearly everything that this film presents, and it combines itself with bland characters that makes this a polite disappointment. I go into horror to see if there will be a fright or some entertainment, and this is essentially the equivalent of doing animals with your hands on a flashlight: it only works if you have the imagination and passion for it. You can make a film involving offbeat characters that aren't quite likable if it is done right, but this isn't one of those examples. Watching a bunch of folks stumble around a forest and bicker isn't what I call atmosphere, and having an actual seen horror not show up is not what I call scary. Technically speaking, there was meant to be a shot of the horror in the film, with a pan to the left that would show a woman in a white gown in the distance, but the cameraman forgot to do so and it was not re-shot. Maybe one is supposed to have Jaws in mind when it comes to a film that holds its monster in place for most of its run-time. This falls apart pretty quickly because I actually felt something for that film and its encompassing terror that lurked (and actually showed up), where with these three the strangest thing that happens to these theater folks is having the tent shaken by the director. Actually, I take that back, the stick figures are a bit spooky to look at. It doesn't seem too fair to pick at these main three took hard, since they are just making the best out of some improvisation with a little bit of intensity (and swearing) that maybe could get a rise out of someone that has more interest in what is actually going on. By the time the climax hits with a bit of a thud, I am more inspired to put the disc back in its compilation case and have it rest back on the shelf than actually look up the lore. If one is big on films with a bit of history for it and trappings of the unseen supernatural, you might fit this just fine. For me, not so much.

Next Review: Sleepy Hollow.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.