Friday the 13th (2009).

Review #2108: Friday the 13th (2009).

Cast: 

Jared Padalecki (Clay Miller), Danielle Panabaker (Jenna), Amanda Righetti (Whitney Miller), Travis Van Winkle (Trent), Aaron Yoo (Chewie), Derek Mears (Jason Voorhees), Jonathan Sadowski (Wade), Julianna Guill (Bree), Ben Feldman (Richie), Arlen Escarpeta (Lawrence), Ryan Hansen (Nolan), and Willa Ford (Chelsea) Directed by Marcus Nispel.

Review: 

Admittedly, the Friday the 13th series is a mess worth looking into further when it comes to reliable cheap horror. Okay, maybe calling it "reliable cheap" is a swipe, but I've only managed to see exactly the first two films in the span of over ten years (where I apparently thought the first was better than Part 2) to go with the crossover Freddy vs. Jason (2003), and, well, they weren't exactly the most impressive. But people obviously care about this series since Sean S. Cunnigham first directed the original in 1980 (with the screenplay by Victor Miller), so why not consider the only other tradition hacked away from other horror movies: the remake? The three key producers behind the remake were Michael Bay, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller for Platinum Dunes. The company had been behind the production of several horror films (with most of them being remakes), which started with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) that extended all the way down to doing remakes of The Amityville Horror in 2005 and The Hitcher in 2007 (a remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street came in 2010, as you already might have guessed). Marcus Nispel, the director of the aforementioned Chainsaw remake, directed this one. Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, and Mark Wheaton wrote the story while Shannon and Swfit (behind the previous effort in Freddy vs. Jason) were credited for the screenplay. Paramount and New Line Cinema, who each owned parts of the franchise (due to the former having sold parts to the latter in 1989), served as part of this production. The movie was a hit with audiences, but somehow it did not lead to further installments, since Paramount and New Line (who was absorbed by Warner Bros. in 2008) apparently wanted to wait until the economy was better (while not wanting one to produce it without them) before more plans ended up being scuttled. A lawsuit by Miller for the rights to what he felt was owed as the writer of the original film did not help. A prequel television series is the latest thing "in development". 

Honestly, I didn't hate the film, because my expectations were low to begin with a film that technically isn't a remake if you consider that the first film's killer was not Jason Voorhees but blah blah blah. The film takes elements from the first few films (a vengeful mother murdering the campers in revenge for her son dying there, Jason going from wearing a sack on his head to the mask, know what I mean?).  It isn't much of a bloody spectacle when it comes to "being scary" or "being interesting". The one thing they apparently have done differently with the character of Jason Vorhees is to make him seem like a survivalist that defends his territory (complete with having his own marijuana plant farm). The film runs at a predictable 97 minutes (105 for the "Killer Cut"). Holiday camps and people that might lurk in the woods when you camp is scary to those who see stuff like this, I suppose, but even Sleepaway Camp (1983) made a better effort, and they didn't have digital effects for machetes. In their attempt to bring the series back to some sort of "basics", they basically have crafted a piece of meat that is in dire need of hard liquor to be edible. Sure, it may rank as "desirable" when it comes to comparing it to, say, the one where Jason went to Manhattan, but that is not a high bar. The highlight might be Yoo in comic relief of wandering around inebriated, strangely enough. You can't even say the adults (youths, whatever) are a detriment to the film, because they don't particularly annoy me here, it just happens that they have little substance to do anything noteworthy besides a few amusing lines (imagine a character calling someone's breasts "stupendous" and you get what I mean). You know exactly what you are coming for if you dig the previous films, but I'm not really sure you get anything really that fresh for fun besides references. The stuff with Voorhees having the edge of lurking around with survival instincts is at least semi-interesting, but the film only makes light movements to actually do anything resembling a scare, complete with needing a cheap jump scare ending. As a whole, the semblance of making new ideas is there, but one is seeing most of the same middling results in the most obvious ways that you would see from a "remake". There are better picks than this middle-middle film for horror.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Predators.

Review #1722: Predators.

Cast: 

Adrien Brody (Royce), Alice Braga (Isabelle), Topher Grace (Edwin), Walton Goggins (Stans), Oleg Taktarov (Nikolai), Louis Ozawa Changchien (Hanzo), Mahershala Ali (Mombasa), Danny Trejo (Cuchillo), Laurence Fishburne (Ronald Noland), with Derek Mears, Carey Jones & Brian Steele (the Predators) Directed by Nimród Antal.

Review: 

Well, I suppose the Predator series needed to do something again to maintain relevancy. Robert Rodriguez had a script in mind for a film in the franchise since 1994, right around the time he was developing Desperado (1995), which he described as just a writing assignment (i.e. one that was designed to try to entice Arnold Schwarzenegger, albeit with no budgetary limitations); 20th Century Fox didn't have interest for fifteen years, and while the treatment wasn't actually used, Rodriguez did serve as producer (using his company Troublemaker Studios). Alex Litvak and Michael Finch served as writers for the film, while Hungarian-American director Nimrod Antal found his way through to serve as director; he was best known for his feature debut Kontroll (2003), which received international notice. Honestly, the movie sure has a thing for killing off the most interesting seeming people. On one side, you have a wacko Fishburne and his imaginary friend in a glorified 15-minute cameo, then on another side you have a guy with three fingers that can still use a sword that doesn't talk much, and another side you have Danny Trejo playing Danny Trejo. But sure, go ahead with Topher Grace as the totally innocent one among these weirdos. I think you can take three guesses who ends up persisting through to at least the climax, and the only curiosity is to see exactly how predictable it can get. That isn't to say that Brody is the wrong choice for what is needed, because the filmmakers wanted to home in reference points in from the first film without having a burly lead, which I can get behind. Technically speaking, the only memorable film involving the title creature is the first one, so that is a slight point. Of course, by trying to hone so many nods and references to the film from 23 years prior, the actual movie one finds is just incredibly average in comparison. 

To be fair, the movie has interest to generate, mostly with the fact that there are a few predators to look for that don't look like CGI abominations. Besides, I find they are more interesting than the ensemble cast turns out in the overall endgame, mostly because one wonders how much of a movie could be done with just the feuds between the predators as a whole. Ah, but one needs things to seem just a bit familiar to make sure you aren't watching something that dares to not sequel-bait itself. I don't even think Alien vs. Predator managed to bait itself as much as this one did, but then again it is amusing to think of one movie trying to ignore the other that really are more alike than they think (in terms of overall energy, not so much in plot). The actors are okay, but the script gives them the bare minimum to work with when it comes to anything besides cursory moments (and swearing, but that is probably expected and/or easy to see coming). As such, Brody is okay with the strong silent type that comes from a lead role intending to be a stark difference from the usual leads in the series, but really it just means that one is begging for someone with a bit more charisma than just wry disposition (i.e. dry), where grunts and gravel voices go about as far as a heavy weight put into a kiddie pool. Braga plays the peacemaker to these cardboard figures, and that is basically more of a shrug than a compliment from me. Grace is the odd duck for a movie that thinks it is going to really be clever with using him for the climax. This works about as well as you think: not very well. He isn't a bad actor, but it is such an obvious role. Goggins is kind of interesting, in that one could probably make more out of the fact that a guy playing a killer/rapist is the most interesting presence in a film like this. Taktarov and Ozawa are there to say a few words, but the latter at least gets to have an interesting sword fight. This was actually an early role for Ali in a decade that soon saw him turn into a star; naturally, this means he plays someone with the bare minimum personality slated to vanish (ditto for Trejo). Honestly,  Fishburne and his one note weirdo role is more interesting in the span of nearly 10 minutes than anything else in the film- and it isn't even that drawn out! The movie runs at 107 minutes, which is a fair pace despite my middling feelings on the matter. By the time the movie tries to bait a further adventure into the middling lives of gravel voiced elite killers, I was pretty checked out. I didn't hate what I saw, but honestly, there just isn't anything here that really stuck with me. It may be better than previous features with the Predator, but that isn't saying much. To me, this is barely better than if someone had just remade the original movie, but at that point one might just stay home. Green blood may look gooey, but that isn't enough to make a proper gore film. Well, the film was fairly successful upon release (making three times its budget, which was $40 million), and yet the next film in the series (The Predator, I am not joking) followed along different lines in its story, and it probably doesn't help that only two actors have ever been in more than one Predator film. Honestly, the only thing this will inspire is the argument that one could just stick with the original feature and not lose a beat. Having an admiration of the original film is a nice ambition, but it does not ultimately make for a nice effort.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.