You Don't Mess with the Zohan.

Review #1106: You Don't Mess with the Zohan.

Cast: 
Adam Sandler (Zohanelen "Zohan" Dvir/Scrappy Coco), John Turturro (Fatoush "Phantom" Hakbarah), Emmanuelle Chriqui (Dalia Hakbarah), Nick Swardson (Michael Klayman), Lainie Kazan (Gail Klayman), Ido Mosseri (Oori), Rob Schneider (Salim), Dave Matthews (James T. O'Skanlon), Michael Buffer (Grant Walbridge), Sayed Badreya (Hamdi), and Daoud Heidami (Nasi) Directed by Dennis Dugan (#045 - Just Go With It and #345 - Happy Gilmore)

Review: 
The best thing one can say about this movie is that is isn't offensive to the senses in terms of entertainment, just merely being a film freely and willfully being vulgar with only a small semblance of plot, even if I don't think it's as funny as it sure think it is. What can one expect from a movie with three writers listed in the credits in Sandler, Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, which had apparently been written in 2000 that was based in part off the real life story of commando-turned-hairstylist Nezi Arbib. Obviously this is something that can't be taken too seriously, as evidenced by the numerous corny and predictable moments, but I'm not letting the movie slide on lazy coasting, which also applies in some part to its plot. The premise of the film gets old after a while, in part because there isn't enough to watch besides vulgar gags (or ones involving hummus) that make something interesting to hold for more than a hour for something that lasts 112 minutes. With Sandler, he can be amusing at times, when he doesn't play himself too ridiculously in dumb humor, being fairly watchable. Turturro is okay, but he isn't too particularly amusing. Chriqui does okay in playing the straight one to the assortment of situations that go on without being too far into the background. The most noteworthy person is Buffer, playing the cliche corporate guy okay for someone who is better know for ring announcing. The rest of the cast is okay at generating mild laughs. At least the film is silly enough to where it doesn't fall prey to too many broad stereotypes. It is entirely possible that this would work better as a television sketch (or perhaps a comedy video on the internet), where you wouldn't have to worry so much about crafting a story beyond a bare minimum, as is the case here. You could even keep one cameo in the film, instead of the endless ones that occur here, from Chris Rock as a taxi driver to Henry Winkler and John McEnroe as themselves and so on (with various quality in said effectiveness). On the surface, this is a movie that works best for people looking for a ridiculous time with vulgar-ness and other aspects that you would probably expect from a Sandler film. Do I hate it? I can't care about the material enough to really think of this junk as anything to say harsh words. If you can sit back and enjoy what goes on, good for you, but for me this was a pretty lame thing to sit through.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Judge Dredd.

Review #332: Judge Dredd.

Cast

Sylvester Stallone (Judge Dredd), Armand Assante (Rico Dredd), Rob Schneider (Fergee), Diane Lane (Judge Hershey), Jürgen Prochnow (Judge Griffin), Max von Sydow (Chief Judge Fargo), Joanna Miles (Judge McGruder), and Joan Chen (Dr. Ilsa Hayden) Directed by Danny Cannon (#146 - Goal! The Dream Begins)

Review

Ah yes, Sylvester Stallone once again. This my seventh review with him in the film being reviewed (#003 - Rocky, #025 - Rambo: First Blood, #047 - The Expendables, #059 - Zookeeper, #254 - Antz, #277 - Rocky II), and he usually got some sort of praise, doing a respectable job, so how does he do here? Uh...Let's get to some history. Judge Dredd is based off the strip of the same name that is featured in a magazine called 2000 AD. And apparently that Dredd has a helmet that coves all but his mouth. However, if I came to this without any of that small info and watched the film, I'd believe Dredd doesn't wear it much, if at all. But is it any good regardless?....Nope. Its action is standard fare, its locations look slightly okay, but more reminding of other dystopian films. And its acting? Stallone does...a weirdly bad job. Assante acts more like he's trying to compete with Stallone for most overacting (Especially in one scene where he says "Law!" in a really silly way. It's better to explain in context.), and even though Sydow does a fine job, the rest can't be said for Schneider. The story feels kinda predictable: A judge is framed by his...brother in an attempt for...power, so he can have his own...order to stop crime. Is there any real benefit to watching this? The only one I can think of is the unintended badness of it. It might be slightly enjoyable if you lower your expectations really low.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Review #310: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Cast
Macaulay Culkin (Kevin McCallister), Joe Pesci (Harry Lyme), Daniel Stern (Marv Murchens), Brenda Fricker (Bird Lady), Catherine O'Hara (Kate McCallister), Tim Curry (Mr. Hector), John Heard (Peter McCallister), Eddie Bracken (Mr. Duncan), Rob Schneider (Cedric), Dana Ivey (Mrs. Stone), and Devin Ratray (Buzz McCallister) Directed by Chris Columbus (#038 - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, #117 - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, #118 - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, #304 - Home Alone)

Review
In a way, I could be generous to this film given that originally I was going to review Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but I backed out of sheer horror 15 minutes in. But then I realize, this film deserves no special treatment, not one bit. Is it horrible? I'll tell you this much: It won't continue the unintentional unlucky streak ratings in the past reviews (From 8 to 7 to 6 to 5 to 4 to 3), but it isn't as good as Home Alone either. While this film does have some of the Christmas spirit as Home Alone, my problem is that it feels too phoned in. It doesn't feel warming, it feels forced at times. The acting is decent, Culkin does a fine job, and Pesci and Stern do fine as well. The scenery sometimes looks nice, and it does have some decent laughs. But then the main glaring flaw comes in. It's a bit too...cartoonish. It may sound weird to say it, but it really isn't as funny, with one scene involving one of the bandits getting hit in the head with a brick...four times. I may be no doctor (just a reviewer), but I'm pretty sure that might hurt a whole lot more than it looks. They fall down ladders, they get slightly electrocuted (For a few seconds you can see a skeleton face as one gets electrocuted), they get hit with paint cans and more, and etcera and etcera. It goes on a bit much, and it feels weird the second time around, even though some of the gags are repeated and some are funny, it is a slightly weak sequel.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.