Showing posts with label Christmas film. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas film. Show all posts

December 19, 2020

It Happened on 5th Avenue.

Review #1613: It Happened on 5th Avenue.

Cast: 
Don DeFore (Jim Bullock), Gale Storm (Trudy O'Connor), Victor Moore (Aloyisius T. McKeever), Charles Ruggles (Michael J. "Mike" O'Connor), Ann Harding (Mary O'Connor), Grant Mitchell (Farrow), Edward Brophy (Patrolman Cecil Felton), Arthur Hohl (Patrolman Brady), Alan Hale, Jr. (Whitey Temple), and Dorothea Kent (Margie Temple) Directed by Roy Del Ruth (#395 - The Maltese Falcon (1931), #432 - The Babe Ruth Story, #807 - The Alligator People, #949 - The First Auto

Review: 

Once upon a time, there was a studio called Monogram Pictures. They were created to make cheap movies under the guise of two folks: Trem Carr and W. Ray Johnston in 1931. Several series came out of the scraps of former stars and fresh unknowns, whether it involved Westerns or the Bowery Boys. Fifteen years passed before an argument was made by producer Walter Mirisch to do work in costlier productions to evolve. The result was a new unit in Allied Artists Productions that would make more expensive films - in other words, they went from making films at a fraction of the usual Hollywood production to trying to make Hollywood budget-level films. Monogram Pictures continued on until 1953, while Allied Artists would make a variety of films for 31 years (which ranged from films like Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) to Love in the Afternoon (1957) to Cabaret (1972), which they co-produced). This was the 63rd of 75 films that were directed by Roy Del Ruth, who one will recognize from his plentiful output of dramas, crime films, and various others (some obviously better than others). The film fell into the hands of Ruth after the rights of the story were brought to Allied Artists after Frank Capra let the rights to the script go. The film was written by Frederick Stephani and Herbert Clyde Lewis, who later received the only Academy Award nomination regarding this film for Best Story (for 17 years, the Academy Awards honored films with Original Screenplay, Screenplay, and Best Story...confusing, but this was the case), which it lost to another classic involving Christmas in Miracle on 34th Street (1947), which like this film also received subsequent remakes in television and radio.

What we have here is the quirky story of folks that move into a mansion while the owner happens to be away for the holidays...which just happen to lead into a love story, a redemption story, and so on and so forth (how the rich man disguised as a hobo is never recognized by anybody besides his ex-wife and daughter as the actual owner of the house is up to you to interpret, because I suppose house portraits aren't present). Basically, it is the kind of film that goes for the heart string of being a better person than just the size of a wallet, where the tramp can be a king, and heartwarming goo is plentiful. Actually, it is an okay film, although its place on the totem pole of Christmas movies depends on one's preferences. I certainly was surprised at first to hear about the connection with Capra and this film (or more specifically, the "almost" connection), but then I realize that Capra had done It's a Wonderful Life (1946), which was released four months before this film - the funny thing is that this was actually delayed for some unknown reason, as research suggests that this film was delayed six months in its release to line up with Easter of all things (as much as I would like to mock this for not being released on Christmas like it should be, Miracle on 34th Street was released a month after this film) - Capra, alongside other famous folks of the time, also gave a recommendation to the film. It sure is a shame too, because one is a film that became a (public domain) classic after it wasn't an initial success with audiences (which is played every year as a tradition), while the other was a light success (making $1.8 million on a budget of $1.2 million budget) that had a shelf life with other Monogram and Allied Artists films for a few decades that has a fair amount of air-time. Besides, both have those moments of trying to sweet-talk their audience with sentiment, but it just so happens one is more efficient at handling what is needed with a film like this at 115 minutes. In other words, it can be funny for those who like what it offers in sentiment, while others will want it the same as getting a hole drilled in their head. The acting is certainly alright from what is needed in earnest from a few solid actors that while not quite well known were at least ones known to give effort. For example, Moore had been an actor on Broadway (in 1896) before being brought in to appear in films beginning in 1915, and this was his fifth-to-last role; here, he is the patron of interlopers with warm kindness, which obviously makes for worthy appeal. DeFore had a steady work in theater and film that would find footing with the advent of television in the following decade, and while he may not make a great romance angle, he at least makes for a spirited effort in the can-do attitude that the film wants. Storm was an actress that spent twelve years acting with a variety of low-budget studios, mostly with Monogram (she ended her film career for television, which worked out for two lengthy sitcoms) - however, the strangest thing to note is that fact that while she sings in the film, it is actually just her lip-synching to someone else (decided by Ruth, much to her disappointment); she does fine here, although the idea of her playing a teenager (while being six years older) is probably a bit much to swallow. Ruggles (who did work in the theater, film, radio, and television in six decades of work) plays the stuffy comic elements well, although the redemption aspects seem a bit more silly in being drawn out. Honestly, it might have worked better with one real story to it, either keeping with the interlopers or the redemption of the rich man into a rich happy man, since instead we have a muddle heap of sap that can only go so far, one that makes a few gags go fine but otherwise feels like an odd egg in the cornucopia of Christmas material to look around for. If one is curious for something that isn't just the usual classic Christmas fare done every time, this might work out just fine. As a curiosity in the eyes of seeing a low budget studio trying to re-invent themselves, it most definitely has a place for cinema, average or not.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

December 27, 2017

Bad Santa.


Review #1030: Bad Santa.

Cast: 
Billy Bob Thornton (Willie T. Soke), Tony Cox (Marcus Skidmore), Lauren Graham (Sue), Brett Kelly (Thurman Merman), Lauren Tom (Lois Skidmore), John Ritter (Bob Chipeska), Bernie Mac (Gin Slagel), Cloris Leachman (Granny), and Octavia Spencer (Opal) Directed by Terry Zwigoff.

Review: 
Admittedly, this is a movie that is not for everyone, but then again how many Christmas films need to be cheerful? This is a movie that basks itself in being cheerful in its rudeness and cynicism, and it sure does a fine job at keeping itself together with laughs. Thornton does a pretty good job in the main role, having a crude kind of soul with this character that keeps itself consistent with the film while never springing towards any kind of force sentimentality. He reflects the movie pretty well in that if you like his performance (or get some sort of kick out of it), you'll probably find the movie pretty enjoyable as a black comedy. The film's tone may seem like a novelty for some, but it definitely has a good share of amusing moments along with some fairly amusing performances. Cox proves to be a fairly entertaining partner as well, being fairly sharp. Kelly proves to be a fairly amusing kid, with a degree of intensity that you don't really see in other movies with kids in films like these. There is just something about how he acts around Thornton that makes for some particularly good scenes. Graham and Tom each don't have too much time on screen, but they do decent jobs. Ritter (in his last live-action role) does a fine job with what it given, staid but useful. Mac is also pretty amusing in an adversarial role that serves for a few odd moments that work well. This is a film with a bunch of oddballs for characters, and it is a movie that takes the risks head on and has a ball with all of its rude but amusing moments. Naturally, there exist numerous versions of the film, with one called "Badder Santa", which has a few more scenes added to it (for a movie that was already only 91 minutes long), and a director's cut that is three minutes shorter than the original release. No matter which version one picks, I'm sure that the film will work for anybody in the mood for some dark but fairly entertaining fare, whether around the holidays or not.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 27, 2016

Surviving Christmas.


Review #890: Surviving Christmas.

Cast:
Ben Affleck (Drew Latham), James Gandolfini (Tom Valco), Christina Applegate (Alicia Valco), Catherine O'Hara (Christine Valco), Josh Zuckerman (Brian Valco), Bill Macy (Doo-Dah/Saul), Jennifer Morrison (Missy Vangilder), and Udo Kier (Heinrich) Directed by Mike Mitchell (#209 - Shrek Forever After)

Review:
Here's a quick description of how the movie is: It's terrible. It is easy to say this movie is terrible, because it is terrible on a massive scale. The majority of the jokes do not land. The characters aren't ones to root for in any capacity, nor ones we should be following. The story trudges at such a bland pace that borders on being tedious that it makes for not only an unfunny movie but also a boring movie. It isn't so much Affleck's fault as it is the script's fault for being bad. Never once does his character come off as anything other than pathetic or flat out creepy. His pursuit of trying to spend time with people so he isn't alone on Christmas (which means bribing a family, naturally) never really rises to a level where I should actually care. It just comes off as sad, not something to inspire laughs, which is a problem in a movie trying desperately (or for a lack of a better word, lamely) to make you laugh. Gandolfini is somewhat better, in the sense that his character seems easier to go along with. It doesn't mean he's likable, but it does mean that it seems more easier to accept. Applegate doesn't have a bad edge to her either, but she also doesn't really have much characterization either. Her chemistry with Affleck seems more basic than anything else, with no real sort of impact. It's nice to see O'Hara, but her character also isn't really anything of note. When one of the quips of the movie is a Sonny Bono reference (to his skiing accident, no less), it really does say something about just how this movie wants to take itself.

Perhaps it is easy to make a cynical kind of Christmas movie, which this film falls under. These are movies that try to be festive by completely taking the spirit out of what makes movies, and in effect the holiday being covered. There are movies like Elves (#680), which are dumb, but harmless in its attempt at cheer, even with killer elves. Then there are movies like Christmas with the Kranks (#082) and Just Friends (#838), ones with the bare minimum of cheer along with a lack of laughs. But then there are movies like Santa Claus (1959, #309) Jingle All the Way (#491), The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (#496), Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (#507), Four Christmases (#772) and A Madea Christmas (#872), where it seems that cheer has been replaced with some form of misery, intentional or not. There aren't really any sort of laughs because of the movie, though it can inspire laughs at its expense. And then of course there is Deck the Halls (#497), the ultimate in terrible Christmas movies (for this show), a movie that sucks out the holiday spirit completely with a baseless plot and even more baseless characters. But with all of this, where does Saving Christmas stand? I'd say it falls around the bottom, managing to be a movie bereft of fun while also tremendously tedious as well.

Most of the examples listed actually sound like they could've been made into dramas, in part because they aren't really funny enough to be anything other than sad ideas. In fact, this film actually does have some attempt at drama, particularly at the end, but of course the movies doesn't actually have any sort of buildup nor does it earn any sort of pity. Most of these movies (except Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) deserve pity for being terrible. Here's the bottom line: Skip this movie.

Countdown to 900 Reviews: 10...

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

November 18, 2016

A Madea Christmas.


Review #872: A Madea Christmas.

Cast:
Tyler Perry (Mabel "Madea" Simmons), Larry the Cable Guy (Buddy Williams), Kathy Najimy (Kim Williams), Chad Michael Murray (Tanner McCoy), Anna Maria Horsford (Eileen Murphy), Tika Sumpter (Lacey Murphy), Eric Lively (Conner Williams), JR Lemon (Oliver), Alicia Witt (Amber), Lisa Whelchel (Nancy Porter), and Noah Urrea (Bailey McCoy) Directed by Tyler Perry.

Review:
Has Movie Night gone under the hill? Is it reaching for anything now? Am I reviewing...a Christmas film in November? Actually, this is the first film I've done starring Tyler Perry, creator of things that likely clogged up TBS years back, because I can't remember anything about his shows. There really doesn't seem to be a consistent plot to this film...is it a movie about this family? Is it about doing a Christmas jubilee (because I guess it's the town's anniversary? Because that only applies to 25 or 50 year celebrations), or is about farming? A dam? For some reason, the farmer sell their crops on this jubilee...wha, you've never heard of selling crops in winter? Also, did you know that mayors can just fire teachers but can't read a contract to see its stipulations? Somehow, the movie keeps going in spite of itself. There must be a problem when Larry the Cable Guy is actually more endearing than Tyler Perry...the bar is set so low by so many lame and tired jokes that exist in some sort of vacuum. The movie doesn't even have much to do with Madea, which is a blessing covered in muck. There is some sort of anti-bullying plot...which ends with Lively's character punching Murray in the face...after the latter gets saved from a car wreck (don't worry, one of them apologizes...the latter one. Heck, they give the family a pie). Did I mention that one of the characters lied to their daughter about their dad being killed (instead, he jilted her for another woman)...and it doesn't really seem to be addressed again after that. It's like there are no consequences, where characters can just steal stuff from a store after being fired, tie up a kid to a wood board with Christmas lights, and flat out lie about a company giving a town money in front of the company's representatives. There isn't really a villain, which is somewhat surprising. I guess they decided that there needed to be more focus on padding itself out with repetitive dialogue. It fails as a comedy and it fails as a drama, having both no real sense of joy and also no sense of dramatic impact, respectively.

At the end of the day, this is already bottom of the barrel stuff that is also mixed in with bottom of the barrel Christmas stuff. I'm not a fan, but I'm sure some of the people who read this are fans, so I guess if you like Madea already, go right on ahead. Honestly, I don't understand this phenomenon (much like other trends in media), but that's how it goes.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

December 22, 2015

Four Christmases.


Review #772: Four Christmases.

Cast
Vince Vaughn (Brad McVie), Reese Witherspoon (Kate), Robert Duvall (Howard McVie), Sissy Spacek (Paula McVie), Jon Voight (Creighton), Mary Steenburgen (Marilyn), Kristin Chenoweth (Courtney), Jon Favreau (Denver McVie), Tim McGraw (Dallas McVie), and Katy Mixon (Susan McVie) Directed by Seth Gordon.

Review
This movie is awful. If I wanted to, I could leave it that. But if I did, then someone might wonder why I only said it was awful and watch it for themselves (just go with the idea that people actually use these reviews as an influence). If you watch about 10-20 minutes of the movie, you will start to have a few questions:

1. Why do Vaughn and Witherspoon look really miscast as a couple?
2. Why can't they arrange the four families to meet at one place instead of having to go to all four in one day?
3. Why did I decide to watch this?
4. Are all romantic comedies like this?
5. Have you ever put a spending limit of $10 for each Christmas gift you gave someone?
6. Are there any likable characters in it?

The answers to the questions are as follows: Pass, Pass, Pass, Maybe, No and...Yes (Jon Voight, who is only in the movie for the last 20 (or so) minutes, and manages to be not only the least annoying character, but also the one who has the least screen time. Go figure.). None of the situations that are set up here are really that funny, feeling either standard or just downright odd. Tell me if this sounds like a goldmine of hilarity: Our main character getting tackled and wrestled with by his two other brothers, and this isn't just one time, no it happens (I think, I lost count) twice more. Of course the movie tries (read: tries) to phone in a happy ending, because I guess having the movie end with them not getting back together seemed not "cheery" enough for Christmas. This a movie that manages to be unlikable at times, but more often than not it's just boring. Why should I care about anything that goes on with these people? It fails as a comedy, it fails as a romance (chemistry clocks in at zero), it fails as a drama (read: last half hour), and its greatest failing is that it fails as a Christmas movie. This isn't a movie you watch to be cheerful around the holidays, this is a movie for people who honestly want to find any reason not to visit their relatives, because they very well may just be as crazy this year as the people in this laugh-forsaken movie. That, and apparently being married and having kids is the only way to be happy. I'd advise you to eat fruitcake before watching this over literally any Christmas movie. Except Deck the Halls. (Yes, I would watch Santa Clause Conquers the Martians again. Even Jingle All the Way). Stay away from this garbage.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.


Review #771: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Cast
Chevy Chase (Clark Griswold, Jr), Beverly D'Angelo (Ellen Griswold), Randy Quaid (Cousin Eddie), Juliette Lewis (Audrey Griswold), Johnny Galecki (Rusty Griswold), John Randolph (Clark Griswold, Sr), Diane Ladd (Nora Griswold), E. G. Marshall (Art Smith), Doris Roberts (Frances Smith), Miriam Flynn (Cousin Catherine), Cody Burger (Cousin Rocky), Nicholas Guest (Todd Chester), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Margo Chester), and Brian Doyle-Murray (Frank Shirley) Directed by Jeremiah Chechik.

Review
Please forgive me for not having watched the two Vacation films released before this one. They (along with Vegas Vacation) will be reviewed in 2016. Probably.

Ah Christmas. It's a time of year in which families try to eat food and get along with each other...and other stuff, because I usually just stay home. But I can relate to at least a few things in the movie, particularly the sticky sap tree, and trying to get a collection of lights to work...though I can't say I ever had that many lights (of course I keep my lights on the tree). The characters are pretty much what you probably have in your own family (no I won't reuse this line later) on Christmas, from over-determined to...bighearted to (insert number) degree of grumpy relatives. Chase certainly sells Griswold's lingering madness well. D'Angelo (along with Lewis and Galecki) certainly make for a good cinema family. My favorite scene with them is the opening scene, especially the part about getting a big ol' Christmas tree in the forest. The buildup to it is pretty enjoyable as well (I can relate in a sense to dealing with drivers from the past with my dad). Sure, there are moments when bitterness and circumstance get in the way, but in the end, it's all full of cheer.

In the pile of Christmas films (which apparently is almost 40) I've reviewed in five years, Christmas Vacation has moments of hilarity, but the movie's real strength is the seasonal charm that the movie evokes, especially the enthusiasm of the main character. It's interesting how comedies like this can be christened Christmas classics, but I can see why. It's not a perfect movie, but it just fits the bill of being a Christmas movie that one can accept.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 25, 2014

Movie Night: Silent Night, Deadly Night.


Review #682: Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Cast
Robert Brian Wilson (Billy Chapman), Lilyan Chauvin (Mother Superior), Gilmer McCormick (Sister Margaret), Toni Nero (Pamela), Britt Leach (Mr. Sims), Nancy Borgenicht (Mrs. Randall), H.E.D. Redford (Captain Richards), and Linnea Quigley (Denise) Directed by Charles Sellier.

Review
Yep, here is your Christmas gift, from me personally. This isn't my first review on Christmas, I've reviewed a movie or two three of the past four Christmases (#020 - A Christmas Story, the two Bill and Ted movies (#021-#022), #319 - It's a Wonderful Life, and #507 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians). While Christmas Evil was known by some, Silent Night, Deadly Night is the Christmas horror film people know more about, and for good reason. This was a controversial film due to the marketing (because horror films haven't been protested before, this time protested by the PTA), and it was pulled from theaters after a few weeks. But did it really need to be pulled? No, it didn't. Horror films are films like any other films, and if someone doesn't like it, just don't watch it. Everyone has their own preferences or interests, and protesting when someone doesn't fit their likes is a terrible idea. This also applies to these reviews, you can choose to read this fully or not. Either way, I appreciate the thought. So anyway, back to the movie. What we have here is a movie with more action then Christmas Evil, even if it comes at the expense at being a bit sillier. The characters are okay, even if it seems obvious that some are just waiting to die, following the tropes that accompany the horror genre at times. But the movie is at least enjoyable to watch (for me, anyway.), it's not a movie that tries to disgust you or make you tear up, it's just a movie that's trying to invoke a few scares. On the whole, while Christmas Evil is a better all around film, Silent Night has slightly better action. If you're looking for an alternative way to celebrate Christmas, this is it, and I'm proud of it. I hope you enjoyed the "different" kind of films reviewed for the break. Tomorrow I'll be focusing on some other kinds of films, with one surprise next Wednesday. Stay tuned.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

December 24, 2014

Movie Night: Christmas Evil.


Review #681: Christmas Evil.

Cast
Brandon Maggart (Harry Stadling), Jeffrey DeMunn (Philip Stadling), Dianne Hull (Jackie Stadling), Andy Fenwick (Dennis Stadling), Brian Neville (Marc Stadling), and Joe Jamrog (Frank Stoller) Directed by Lewis Jackson.

Review
Yes, today is Christmas Eve. In the four years of this show, I've review four films on Christmas Eve (#018 - Die Hard with a Vengeance, #019 - For a Few Dollars More, #318 - The Santa Clause 2 and #506 - Bullitt), but this time I've picked a real winner, a horror/Christmas film called Christmas Evil (clever pun BTW). The movie is also known as You Better Watch Out and Terror in Toyland. And...it's pretty decent. For one thing, it takes its time before the killer starts his spree, though the first few minutes pretty much sets up everything...weirdly, but still. I guess a kid could go crazy they saw Santa groping their mother. See, the weirdness from the last review did latch onto this review. The reason it's not bad is because it manages to be interesting to watch Maggert's character evolve in terms of mood, and I like how much fun it has with itself. The actors are standard, but it doesn't matter due to the movie's strange charm. The ending has to be seen to be believed because it isn't what you would expect in a horror film. If you like horror films that don't exactly take themselves too seriously and have some fun, this is for you. I kinda like it, so call this a guilty pleasure, or a killer flick, if you will.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

December 23, 2014

Movie Night: Elves.


Review #680: Elves.

Cast
Dan Haggerty (Mike McGavin), Julie Austin (Kirsten), Deanna Lund (Kirsten's mother), Borah Silver (Kirsten's grandfather), Mansell Rivers-Bland (Rubinkraur), Christopher Graham (Willy), Laura Lichstein (Brooke), Stacey Dye (Amy), and Winter Monk (Kurt) Directed by Jeffrey Mandel.

Review
Happy Festivus everyone! And yes, there is a horror movie about killer elves. Believe it or not, this was given a limited release in theaters and then released a few years later to VHS. I don't know what's weirder, the fact that this hasn't been released to DVD or that there's a petition to get it released on DVD. So...yeah. Elves. How do you make a horror film about elves, those little helpers to Santa? Simple, you throw in Nazis wanting super soldiers elves, incest, and virgins into the mix. Yep, it's that kind of plot line. The highlight of the movie for me is Dan "Grizzly Adams" Haggerty. He brings a lot of charm to a movie that doesn't really have much charm to it, and I like his casual performance, but I especially love that beard. It's so cool looking. The rest of the actors seem more like television bit part actors, but they have their moments where they play it a bit over the top, which it is actually pretty funny. The "elves" aren't really featured too much in the movie, it's more about the Nazi/incest plot line then the elves, which sounds bizarre without context. The movie's not anything too special, but I do find it to be stupidly fun to watch. It's kind of like food that isn't really good for you but you eat it and (in a way) enjoy it nonetheless. I call that kind of movie the "The McDonald's Movie". It's a idiotic idea, but it has its quirks and Dan Haggerty to counter it.

If you're wondering about Festivus, my Airing of Grievances is as follows:
Why didn't I do more reviews this year? I've only done 166 so far this year!
Why does AMC keep showing The Santa Clause 2 (#318)? Not even a classic.
Why does AMC show the colorized version of Miracle on 34th Street (#303)? It looked fine in black and white.
Why is their a sequel to Jingle All The Way (#491) with Larry the Cable Guy? Words fail me.
I'm disappointed that I didn't get a 27 on my October ACT. I guess a 26 will do.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

December 22, 2014

Movie Night: Black Christmas (1974).


Review #679: Black Christmas.

Cast
Olivia Hussey (Jess), Keir Dullea (Peter), Margot Kidder (Barb), John Saxon (Lt. Fuller), Marian Waldman (Mrs. Mac), Andrea Martin (Phyllis), James Edmond (Mr. Harrison), Doug McGrath (Sergeant Nash), Art Hindle (Chris), and Lynne Griffin (Clare) Directed by Bob Clark (#020 - A Christmas Story)

Review
Yes, the same Bob Clark who directed A Christmas Story (a movie that admittedly has its own weirdness to it) directed a movie called one of the first slasher films, Black Christmas. And hey, it's a "Christmas film" along with being a Canadian film as well. I guess surprises come in threes. But is the movie any good? Yea, I suppose so. This is a chilly little film that uses perspective from the killer and some pretty odd phone calls to make for a spooky little slasher film. The highlight for me though is Margot Kidder, who certainly seems like she's having a good time even if half of the time she is...inebriated. What is unique is the fact that the killer isn't revealed, not even at the end, as the movie ends ambiguously, all in part because Bob Clark decided to. The killer isn't really shown, but by using perspective and a voice (or two, probably), it makes for a creative way of delivering scares without having to adhere to the cliches too much. And hey, it's another movie with John Saxon, who as always is a rough but watchable authority figure. It's been 40 years since this film has been released, and it has had a remake but even now this film has a cult following and I can understand why. What we have here is a stellar movie that even inspired Halloween and Friday the 13th, which is like a sign of respect, I believe. Watch the movie, and then make sure to check the caller ID on your phone.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 21, 2014

Movie Night: Silent Night, Bloody Night.


Review #678: Silent Night, Bloody Night.

Cast
Patrick O'Neal (John Carter), James Patterson (Jeffrey Butler), Mary Woronov (Diane Adams), Astrid Heeren (Ingrid), John Carradine (Charlie Towman), Walter Abel (Mayor Adams), and Fran Stevens (Tess Howard) Directed by Theodore Gershuny.

Review
Yes, I realize that the movie doesn't have much (if any) ties to Christmas. But hey, the title is a reference to a Christmas song and apparently it takes place on Christmas Eve, so there you go, you've got a Christmas review. That, and it should've been reviewed in October but is being reviewed now. This movie is in the public domain and easy to find, though the real question is should you watch it? Yes and no. What we have here is a weird, weird, weird movie, and the fact that it came out in the 70's only supports that fact. It figures that John Carradine is in this as well (take a drink of your favorite beverage folks), in a movie that also features former Warhol superstars (Heh, it took me 1,462 days to make an Andy Warhol reference). The actors are at least decent enough, trying to make this movie work even if sometimes it looks more like a stage production than a movie. At least it has some moments of chill to it, and the reveal on the killer is spooky...even if the mask (or whatever it is) that Butler wears is sort of silly. It's at least a passable movie that runs only about 90 minutes, and I guess it's the perfect movie for 70's fans, John Carradine lovers, people cynical of Christmas, and people who decided to review this movie with the stupidest explanation ever.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

December 20, 2014

Movie Night: Elf.


Review #677: Elf.

Cast
Will Ferrell (Buddy Hobbs), James Caan (Walter Hobbs), Zooey Deschanel (Jovie), Mary Steenburgen (Emily Hobbs), Daniel Tay (Michael Hobbs), Ed Asner (Santa Claus), Bob Newhart (Papa Elf), Faizon Love (Gimbel's manager), and Peter Dinklage (Miles Finch) Directed by Jon Favreau (#135 - Iron Man and #334 - Iron Man 2)

Review
I admit, this movie probably should've been covered earlier in our four year run. The fact that this is the anniversary day only magnifies minor missteps and also films I should've covered. But hey, now I can cross this one off my own little list (I'm sure your lists are much more reasonable than mine). I admit, Buddy could be an annoying character with the wrong actor. But Ferrell manages to give off a lot of energy and makes the movie a lot more fun, especially when around Caan, who is just an array of sunshine. If it was a cold star, anyway. The cast is charming, especially Newhart, who is fun to watch, even when weighted down by Ferrell...literally. The movie has some cheer and charm to it, and I think my favorite scene is when Buddy decorates Gimbel's at night. There is something funny about making snowflakes and a Lego Empire State Building (with a train!) all in one night. That, and Peter Dinklage attacking Buddy. I was surprised that Jon Favreau directed this film, but everybody has their duck in a chicken coop (Or something like that). The movie does a good deal of Christmas cheer to it while also being enjoyable. And because of this movie, I now know who (or what) a Zooey is, so I guess that's something. Very nice voice. The movie is quirky enough and manageable enough to be a classic, so I'd say to go watch it. And then get a big tree.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 7, 2014

Movie Night: Scrooge (1970)


Review #673: Scrooge.

Cast
Albert Finney (Ebenezer Scrooge), Alec Guinness (Marley's ghost), Edith Evans (Ghost of Christmas Past), Kenneth More (Ghost of Christmas Present), David Collings (Bob Cratchit), Michael Medwin (Fred), Paddy Stone (Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come), Frances Cuka (Mrs. Cratchit), Richard Beaumont (Tiny Tim), Laurence Naismith (Fezziwig), and Mary Peach (Fred's wife) Directed by Ronald Neame.

Review
Ouch, it's been a week since the last review. Sorry for the delay, but hey, December's a tough month. I celebrated my birthday on the 1st, then promptly was sick for the next three or so days. Colds are very annoying to deal with, but now I'm better and ready to get back into the circuit...with another film called Scrooge. If you're wondering how it's any different from the other films, this time we're dealing with a musical version of the tale (I guess at this point anything can be turned into a musical, even hockey.), with one small change from the novel. But hey, how's the movie? It's alright, I suppose. For a Christmas film, it's fine as it does have a good deal of spirit (Heck, it even has Santa-I mean Father Christmas in it. I'm just surprised that the store happened to be selling it in Scrooge's size rather then the fact that they were open on Christmas), and you do get the sense of warmth and fun. Albert Finney is the biggest highlight, especially given that he portrays Scrooge so effectively you barely notice him under all that makeup, which helps when focusing on how he ranges Scrooge's emotions, such as the flashback sequence, where you see his grief and his regret in the past; I especially like seeing the present Scrooge berating the younger one for his actions, which makes Scrooge out to be more than a miser. The songs and how they are sung, are debatable though. Sometimes they're good (Thank You Very Much is nice, I admit), but other songs aren't as good (Father Christmas isn't a bad song, it just feels long). The ghosts are fun to watch (Ghost of Christmas Present sounds more like a feasting buddy, but he at least gets the point across, so there), and Guinness does a fine job as Marley. The one scene in the movie that veers from the tale is at the end, when Scrooge sees his future in death...and in chains. Yep, Scrooge sees more than just his grave, he also sees his chain. It's an unnecessary scene; Having Scrooge only see his grave without anyone being sad for his death and having them cheer in the streets in more haunting than a sequence in "fire land", with rats. But ultimately the movie is fine, and it manages to have enough quirks to be a good telling of the tale.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 25, 2013

Movie Night: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.


Review #507: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Cast
John Call (Santa Claus), Leonard Hicks (Kimar), Vincent Beck (Voldar), Bill McCutcheon (Dropo), Victor Stiles (Billy), Donna Conforti (Betty), Chris Month (Bomar), Pia Zadora (Girmar), Leila Martin (Momar), Charles Renn (Hargo), and James Cahill (Rigna) Directed by Nicholas Webster.

Review
Back when I reviewed (#310) Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, I mentioned this particular film, saying only this: "In a way, I could be generous to this film [Home Alone 2] given that originally I was going to review Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but I backed out of sheer horror 15 minutes in". Yeah, I was being lazy last year, and Home Alone 2 was barely better. But anyways, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has become a cult classic ranging from being riffed on MST3K, to being made into a musical, to being novelized, all that for a 80 minute public domain film. So how is the actual film? Delightfully awful. I went into this film under the belief it would be horrendous, because why else is it always discussed under awful Christmas films? The acting isn't entirely awful, John Call makes for an interesting portrayal of Santa, I don't think I've had a movie with Santa in which he lets television crews into the North Pole, but I digress. McCutcheon isn't half bad, evoking some of the childlike quality that seems to make up Christmas. The film may be in color, but this is the prime example that color doesn't make a movie better. The film is easy to make fun of, either for its production values (or there lack of), the strange laughter scene, or the fact that Santa doesn't really conquer the Martians, he teaches them a lesson, but the point is that even with all that, the film is mostly watchable and short as well, and while there are other, better Christmas films around, this one is bad enough to work on a day like this. Movies I received as gifts this Christmas: Roman Holiday, Starman, Thunderbird 6, The Spy Who Loved Me, Tango and Cash, and Father of the Bride. Merry Christmas everyone.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

December 22, 2013

Movie Night: Christmas in Connecticut.


Review #504: Christmas in Connecticut.

Cast
Barbara Stanwyck (Elizabeth Lane), Dennis Morgan (Jefferson Jones), Sydney Greenstreet (Alexander Yardley), Reginald Gardiner (John Sloan), S.Z. Sakall (Felix Bassenak), Robert Shayne (Dudley Beecham), Una O'Connor (Norah), Frank Jenks (Sinkewicz), Joyce Compton (Mary Lee), and Dick Elliott (Judge Crothers) Directed by Peter Godfrey.

Review
Ah yes, another Christmas film, but this time not involving Santa or Scrooge, but with Barbara Stanwyck (and Connecticut to a similar extent) instead. This is my first foray into a film with Stanwyck in it, and she does a pretty fine job, she has her share of dramatic moments, but she also has her share of laughs, helped with the pairing of her and Dennis Morgan, along with Sydney Greenstreet, whose mannerisms and way of speaking help make his lines fun to listen to. The Christmas spirit is certainly present here, with loads of warmth and happy cheer...and good looking food. The film is certainly welcome in a Christmas season like this, snow and all.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 21, 2013

Movie Night: A Christmas Carol (1938).


Review #503: A Christmas Carol.

Cast
Reginald Owen (Ebenezer Scrooge), Gene Lockhart (Bob Cratchit), Kathleen Lockhart (Mrs. Cratchit), Terry Kilburn (Tiny Tim Cratchit), Barry MacKay (Fred), Lynne Carver (Bess), Bunny Beatty (Martha Cratchit), June Lockhart (Belinda Cratchit), John O'Day (Peter Cratchit), Leo G. Carroll (Marley's Ghost), Lionel Braham (Spirit of Christmas Present), Ann Rutherford (Spirit of Christmas Past), and D'Arcy Corrigan (Spirit of Christmas Future) Directed by Edwin L. Marin.

Review
Once again, I'm reviewing A Christmas Carol film (#075 - Scrooged, #076 - Scrooge (1951), #079 - A Christmas Carol (1984), #498 - The Muppet Christmas Carol), with actors like Bill Murray in a mediocre comedy, Allister Sim in a fine telling of the story, George C. Scott rather effectively playing Scrooge, to Michael Caine with Muppets. So with all of the other Christmas Carol films around, how is this? It's an okay film, but it feels really cut down. It lasts only about 70 minutes, it omits the part about Scrooge's past romance and Want and Ignorance are sorely missing, most likely due to wanting a family film, as I'm sure many families will enjoy the scene where Scrooge sees his own grave, truly a happy scene. The actors are fine though, Lockhart is okay, certainly a bright and energetic figure. While Reginald Owen isn't necessarily great, he does bring a presence that carries the film to a short, but mostly sweet finish line. Out of all the Christmas Carol films I've reviewed, this isn't the best one by any means, but if you want something short and mostly sweet, this is the one for you.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 15, 2013

Movie Night: The Muppet Christmas Carol.


Review #498: The Muppet Christmas Carol.

Cast
Michael Caine (Ebenezer Scrooge), Dave Goelz (The Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens, Waldorf as Robert Marley, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and Betina Cratchit), Steve Whitmire (Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit, Rizzo the Rat, Beaker, Bean Bunny, Belinda Cratchit, Beetle, and Lips), Jerry Nelson (Tiny Tim Cratchit, Statler as Jacob Marley, Ma Bear as Ma Fozziwig, Ghost of Christmas Present, Lew Zealand, and Mr. Applegate), Frank Oz (Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit, Fozzie Bear as Fozziewig, Sam the Eagle as Headmaster of Junior High Graduates, Animal and George the Janitor), David Rudman (Peter Cratchit, Old Joe, Swedish Chef), Jessica Fox (Ghost of Christmas Past) and Steven Mackintosh (Fred) Directed by Brian Henson.

Review
I've reviewed movies based on the story A Christmas Carol (#076 - Scrooge (1951) and #079 - A Christmas Carol (1984)) before, but this one is a little different, as the Muppets (Last seen by me in #377 - Muppets from Space) intervene in the process, certainly making for a unique adaptation. Michael Caine, while not as good as say George C. Scott, does make a decent Scrooge who is entertaining enough, and he pairs off well with the Muppets. Speaking of which, the Muppets are really entertaining, especially The Great Gonzo and Rizzo, who pair well off each other all throughout the film. The story flows well and the characters are all fine and dandy, and this certainly is a fine way to spend a weekend near Christmastime. Countdown to 500 Reviews: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

December 13, 2013

Movie Night: Deck the Halls.

Review #497: Deck the Halls.

Cast
Danny DeVito (Buddy Hall), Matthew Broderick (Steve Finch), Kristin Chenoweth (Tia Hall), Kristin Davis (Kelly Finch), Alia Shawkat (Madison Finch), Dylan Blue (Carter Finch), Sabrina Aldridge (Ashley Hall), Kelly Aldridge (Emily Hall), Josh Hayden (Ben Hall), and Jorge Garcia (Wallace) Directed by John Whitesell.

Review
Deck the Halls...is just awful. It makes Christmas with the Kranks seem tolerable, it makes the Miracle on 34th Street remake seem like a better alternative, it makes fruitcake look like a tasty treat, whatever comparison I use, nothing equates to what Deck the Halls really is: Awful. The plot itself is just...I can't really comprehend it enough to explain, but how does one equate trying to make your house visible from space to be a Christmas film? Also how does one make the film so unlikable? I don't know, but the filmmakers did it, they made an awful Christmas film with characters ranging from near unlikable to bland. What I mean is that the characters that get the most screen time are the least likable, such as the two main leads and the ones that don't get screen time are too bland to care about, such as the children. DeVito isn't awful, but I'd stick to Twins instead. At least he had a fine partner to pair off with in that film, unlike Matthew Broderick, who just doesn't work well with him. Chenoweth isn't bad, and Davis is mild, but not awful. This is one of the worst ideas for a Christmas film as instead of focusing on spending time with the family (and getting mediocre gifts you hopefully won't re wrap next year), the film focuses on...getting a house visible from space. Yes, racking up your electrical bills and nearly driving your family away from you is truly worth it. This is simply the fruitcake of Christmas film, the movie you watch to truly be depressed about Christmas. Ernest Saves Christmas had more dignity (and entertainment value) then this, but if I keep talking about this film, I will go insane. There are much better ways to spend your Fridays, reviewing Deck the Halls is not one of them. Countdown to 500 Reviews: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3...

Overall, I give it 2 out of 10 stars.

December 8, 2013

Movie Night: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.


Review #496: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.

Cast
Tim Allen (Santa Claus/Scott Calvin), Martin Short (Jack Frost), Elizabeth Mitchell (Mrs.Claus/Carol Calvin), Judge Reinhold (Neil Miller), Wendy Crewson (Laura Miller), Liliana Mumy (Lucy Miller), Alan Arkin (Bud Newman), Ann-Margret (Sylvia Newman), and Spencer Breslin (Curtis the Elf) Directed by Michael Lembeck (#318 - The Santa Clause 2)

Review
The first film (#313 - The Santa Clause) was at least enjoyable, not too bad for a Christmas film. The sequel was mediocre, predictable, felt sort of forced (but I guess workable), and should have ended the series right there. But of course, they made a third film, and naturally, it is about as forced and tired as you would expect. Most of the cast returns, with of course one new addition, Martin Short, and boy does he try to make this film less forgettable...mostly failing. I can't blame him though, I blame the mostly unfunny script that traps him with such mediocre lines like "I invented chill!" and "Excuse me... Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?", but oh well. Allen doesn't really do any better, but with a film so forced, it makes some sense. Even the effects look mediocre, not really noteworthy or terrible, just meh. This is a poor "conclusion" to the film series that probably didn't deserve to be a film series, and a Christmas film you could skip. Countdown to 500 Reviews: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4...

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

November 30, 2013

Movie Night: Jingle All the Way.



Review #491: Jingle All The Way.

Cast
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Howard Langston), Sinbad (Myron Larabee), Phil Hartman (Ted Maltin), Rita Wilson (Liz Langston), Jake Lloyd (Jamie Langston), Robert Conrad (Officer Hummell), Martin Mull (D.J.), and James Belushi (Mall Santa) Directed by Brian Levant.

Review
The first and (thankfully) only Christmas film that Arnold Schwarzenegger did, Jingle All The Way is the perfect way to depress your Christmas, and is a great way to waste 90 minutes of your life. The film likes to have action that barely makes any sense, especially with the jet pack, but my "favorite" part is the brawl with the Mail Santas, but seeing Schwarzenegger beat some...fraudulent mall santas is enjoyable. Speaking of which, Schwarzenegger looks like he just walked into the film at random, and to be fair, he technically did, joining production 9 months prior to production, but at least he is memorable, especially with his line deliveries, with such lines like "Who told you you could eat my cookies?" and Put that cookie down!", but I digress. But of course, Sinbad is around to...pester the audience, I suppose. Hartman isn't given much to do other then play a smarmy character, and the rest of the cast isn't much better, but what do you expect from a film that cares about hammering the commercial aspects of Christmas then plot/characterization? Turboman this, Turboman that, the film hammers in the point that apparently people will trample each other for...a toy. I already knew that, but I guess showing love for your son in the form of a toy is the most magical part of Christmas, next to the relatives fighting and the fruitcake. If you are really, really hard pressed to find a Christmas film to watch...I still wouldn't recommend it.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.