Baby Geniuses.

Review #2149: Baby Geniuses. 

Cast: 

Kathleen Turner (Dr. Elena Kinder), Christopher Lloyd (Dr. Heep), Peter MacNicol (Dan Bobbins), Kim Cattrall (Robin Bobbins), Dom DeLuise (Lenny), Ruby Dee (Margo), with Leo, Gerry and Myles Fitzgerald (Sylvester "Sly" & Whit; voices by Miko Hughes), and Kyle Howard (Dickie/Ice Pick) Directed by Bob Clark (#020 - A Christmas Story, #679 - Black Christmas, #1055 - Porky's, #1854 - My Summer Story)

Review: 

"We wanted to go for a more realistic presentation of the concept." - Bob Clark.

Oh no, Bob Clark. This was the guy who did horror such as Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972) and Black Christmas (1974) before getting to do comedy/dramas such as Tribute (1980). After that, every film of his seems to remind one of a rollercoaster, as for every sleeper-turned-classic such as A Christmas Story (1983)...there was a litany of films that went down the road of audience appreciation such as the following: Porky's (1981 - hit, for better or worse), Porky's II: The Next Day (1983 - hit, somewhat), Rhinestone (1984 - the odd flop), Turk 182 (1985 - flop), From the Hip (1987 - flop), Loose Cannons (1990 - flopped harder), My Summer Story (1994 - little-seen flop), I'll Remember April (1999 - ???)...and then this. The involvement of Bob Clark with what became this film started in 1994. Clark ran into Jon Voight when attending a play and heard about a script that Voight wanted to do with his company that he had formed with Steven Paul in Crystal Sky Productions; Paul came up with the initial concept because he saw two babies communicating to each other once. This script (with multiple writers having gone through it) involved babies. While the script didn't look great to Clark (it involved portals called "Baby World"), he was interested in the short film he was shown involving babies sitting around in a meeting like they were executives (i.e., morph technology). Clark led the charge for a shift in the script that honed to the corporate angle because the other script seemed less "fresh." Of course, Clark had every reason to be nervous with the effects, but Babe (1995) certainly cooled fears a bit when it came to morphing. The effects when it came to the babies fell to the hands of Creative Special Effects when it comes to lips and mouths (alongside other stuff like natural head movements) for the babies for, well, conversation. By default, the CGI is a pioneer of some sort when it came to mouth movement, with credit of course going to babies...hitting their marks along with the use of a 15-year-old little person and a young gymnast for dancing and karate moves. Would you be surprised to hear that the film had a dubious release history? It was first planned for a release in Christmas of 1997 before incomplete effects meant a new target of 1998 and then 1999, and there was even the possibility of just shuttering the film as a Columbia TriStar Home Video release in the direct-to circuit before the movie slithered onto theaters in March of 1999, which managed to garner marginal attention from audiences. Five years later, Clark returned to direct a sequel with Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), now with Voight serving as a star to go with Paul writing the screenplay and serving as a producer. Somehow, that film has a much worse reputation than this film, and it happened to be the last film directed by Clark, who died in 2007 at the age of 67.

Getting kids (age 5-9, apparently) rather than adult voices to voice the babies (such as say, Look Who's Talking [1989]) is probably the least sad thing of the whole thing. What could possibly invite you to waste 95 minutes on a movie that never succeeds in every joke that is attempted? If there was a God, I do not believe that watching babies walk and talk would be high on the priority list. You might as well call it the film most likely to be thought of as having no soul in it. The people who made this film probably did not think much of the film either during or after production, but that doesn't give an excuse for this being one of the worst things I have ever seen. Hell, it shouldn't even be called a film, it should be put in a special garbage can that you would put expired food products in. You might think, oh, well, Monster a Go-Go (1965) is filled with more inconsistencies and worse acting. Well, maybe, but that has the label of being made in weirder circumstances of "make the best out of the footage", what kind of excuse does this Hollywood slop have? Absolutely none. Clark and his team probably thought it was one of those things you can put on for the kids and enjoy, but no, they did not. I can't tell who to feel sorrier for when it comes to being present in such a bad feature here, Lloyd (future voice in Foodfight!) or DeLuise (guy who appeared in past junk such as Sextette, and The Magic Voyage dub); Lloyd's most dubious scene might as well be his second one, when he accesses a computer that only is there to deliver exposition to the audience and serve no other purpose. Well, okay, maybe Turner, because she has more time than each actor and doesn't even get to chew scenery. Imagine my shock, no scene chewing in a movie that has less life on it than the planet Mars. Even if you want to term MacNicol and Cattrall as just sleepwalking through their roles, why should they be given slack? It's easy to say folks are mailing it in, but, well, yea, they are mailing it in as if this was a direct-to-video production, complete with little motivation to do much of anything. They repeat one line four times in quick succession and later do a repeat of a gag where an adult gets tricked into getting hit in the beans after talking about it. The voices coming out of those babies were never going to work with how it looked because it just isn't a useful effect that you would want to see for very long. It is a gag that has run amok for what might as well count for anti-comedy. Truly, this was a sad experience to sit through, because it means that Bob Clark may be one of few people who directed both a vaunted classic and a horrendously awful feature in the same career. Avoid, unless you like garbage.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.

Next: The Lonely Lady.

The Secret of NIMH.

Review #1466: The Secret of NIMH.

Cast: 
Elizabeth Hartman (Mrs. Brisby), Derek Jacobi (Nicodemus), Hermione Baddeley (Auntie Shrew), John Carradine (The Great Owl), Dom DeLuise (Jeremy the Crow), Arthur Malet (Mr. Ages), Peter Strauss (Justin), Paul Shenar (Jenner), Aldo Ray (Sullivan), Shannen Doherty (Teresa Brisby), Wil Wheaton (Martin Brisby), Ian Fried (Timothy "Timmy" Brisby), Jodi Hicks (Cynthia Brisby), Edie McClurg (Miss Right), and Tom Hatten (Farmer Fitzgibbon) Directed by Don Bluth.

Review: 
"I prefer that animation reach into places where live action doesn't go, and it seems like all of animation nowadays is trying to go where live action is."

It takes some sort of courage to set forth and make your own film, particularly when it comes to one you could be proud to say could rival the pros of the day. In this case, this is one that came from defectors of Walt Disney Productions that tried to keep the spirit of traditional animation films alive with a meaningful story and values that they believed had decreased from the company in recent years. The group, headed by animators such as Don Bluth, John Pomeroy, and Gary Goldman, had spent over four years animating a prior short in the 27-minute Banjo the Woodpile Cat (1979), which was looked upon with apathy when they asked Disney about their interest in buying the film. Bluth had developed an interest in Disney from a young age, which led to two separate stints with the company (starting with Sleeping Beauty (1955) as an assistant and closing with his abrupt exit during The Fox and the Hound (1981) with the others), with notable work including The Rescuers and Pete's Dragon (1977). It was artist Ken Anderson who sparked interest in doing a film of the Robert C. O'Brien book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH (rejected by Disney when offered the book because they had "already got a mouse...and we've done a mouse movie."), who gave the book for Bluth to read that was later given to others to read that led to interest in doing a film. It would become a reality with another ex-Disney group in James L. Stewart's Aurora Productions, under the terms of a $5.7 million budget and 30 months to make the film, with long hours for the animators and staff (with 110 hour weeks near the end of production). The film made just around $15 million upon release, but it eventually developed a following of its own that gave it a tremendous reputation among animation films, and Bluth would go on to do nine further films as a director in the next two decades (with varying success and failure).

The film had four credited writers in Bluth, Goldman, Pomeroy, and Will Finn while Steven Barnes was a creative consultant for his initial draft (which had focused more on the rats of NIMH like the book that was revised later to focus on Brisby). What a marvelous little film, one might say when it comes to an experience like this. It can't be denied that there is plenty of striking color and technique to achieve a wonderful mythic tale with plenty of craftsmanship that springs from utilizing ideas such as rotoscoping (live action footage traced over into animation) or backlit animation (in an attempt to recreate artificial light/fire). It is the kind of film that you show to others as an example of what one might want from "mature" animated films for everyone, where it doesn't talk down to either the young or older audience that looks upon the experience - they will find a bunch to adore with its ambitious animation and attempts at a dark story with a suitable path for a fantasy experience and a game cast. This is an interesting cast to highlight, since the voices and abilities of those actors were deemed crucial to matching who they were going to play, finding people to cast based on previous work that they liked, such as Hartman (a troubled but talented actress who had made her debut with A Patch of Blue seventeen years prior), DeLuise (for his work in The End (1978) of all things) or Jacobi and Strauss from their work in miniseries (I, Claudius and Rich Man, Poor Man, respectively). It obviously paid off well, since everyone seems to fit well with who they are meant to be playing, which springs to life with our focus in Hartman (in her last role before her suicide five years later), a sensitive but soothing presence that we appreciate in seeing her courage play out to us. Jacobi serves the film well with a mystical and alluring presence that makes every little sentence count, starting with the opening. Others such as Baddeley (in her final role before her death in 1986) and DeLuise do well with a light hand to connect with Hartman and give the film space to breathe in its initial moments and further. Carradine (in his fourth and last animated role), appearing in one sequence with his distinct voice is recognizably capable for what is needed. Shenar makes his time count as the main threat behind things, while Malet and Strauss fill out the rest with fine spirit. In the long run, the films works out for 82 minutes with quick pacing and a reliable foundation to go with diverting animation to make a worthwhile adventure worth checking out for all ages as a great achievement for Bluth and his animators in a decade that could offer plenty of entertainment for audiences that needed a right touch for everyone to enjoy meaningfully.

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

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The Twelve Chairs.

Review #1435: The Twelve Chairs.

Cast: 
Ron Moody (Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov), Frank Langella (Ostap Bender), Dom DeLuise (Father Fyodor), Andreas Voutsinas (Nikolai Sestrin), Diana Coupland (Madame Bruns), David Lander (Engineer Bruns), Vlada Petric (Sevitsky), Elaine Garreau (Claudia Ivanovna), Robert Bernal (Curator), Will Stampe (Night watchman), and Mel Brooks (Tikon) Directed by Mel Brooks (#061 - Blazing Saddles, #198 - Spaceballs, #248 - Robin Hood: Men in Tights, #361 - The Producers, #364 - High Anxiety, #623 - Silent Movie, and #655 - Young Frankenstein, and #1120 - History of the World, Part I)

Review: 
“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”

Mel Brooks was inspired to become an entertainer after seeing a Broadway show at the age of 9. He worked as a drummer and pianist for years (with World War II service in the middle of said career) before soon moving his way to stand-up and comedy writing. He was one of the writers hired to work on Sid Caesar's revolutionary variety series Your Show of Shows in 1950 (which ran for four years), and he would continue working for Caesar on his successor show Caesar's Hour (1954-57). When it came to successful comedy directors in the 1970s, one particular name that is high on the list to mention first is Mel Brooks, fresh off a decade in which he helped to develop the hit TV series Get Smart, a comedy routine (The 2000 Year-Old Man) and a modest hit with The Producers (1968). One can go on about classic moments of farce and parody in his movies for the 1970s such as Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. Of the five films he directed in the decade, those are his best ones, but the other three are just as entertaining and amusing in their own right, although this was the only one to not be commercially successful. This was his second directorial effort, which was adapted from the 1928 novel of the same name by Soviet prose authors Ilf and Petrov. There have been numerous adaptations of the novel (before and after this film), with the previous American adaptation (more so inspired by rather than adapting) being It's in the Bag (1945), who reduced the chair count to five. The ending for the film was considerably lightened up from the book (which had killed one of the main characters off and then had them return for a follow-up book years later).

For the main trio, Brooks had intended to cast Alistair Sim, Peter Sellers, and Albert Finney, though this did not come to pass. 1970 was the debut year for Langella in film (with the other film appearance being in Diary of a Mad Housewife), and he had found himself  cast through a recommendation by Anne Bancroft (Brooks' wife and an acclaimed actress in her own right), who had worked with Langella on the stage (where he had worked since 1963). It was he who had suggested to cast Moody, who was fresh off a run on London with the novel-turned-musical-turned-film Oliver! (1960 for stage; 1968 for film). Bancroft also recommended DeLuise, who had been featured in a few comedic stage and film roles that would make his first of ultimately five appearances in a Brooks film. Each rein in fairly interesting performances for a film that while not as broadly funny as other films in Brooks' career (past and future) is a worthwhile film to still check out. It is a movie of greed within a Russian fable (filmed in Yugoslavia) that makes its humor with a mix of subtlety and zaniness that makes for a useful 93 minute tale, right down to the opening song "Hope For The Best (Expect the Worst)", a cheeky little song (along with my favorite slogan). Moody does a fine job with timing that has his character go madder by the second, such as when he walks the tightrope for a chair. Langella makes a fair straight man with his own degree of greed that accompanies Moody with calm for a film all about tearing up chairs for money through the eyes of 1920s in the Soviet Union. DeLuise is the most evident in generating amusement with his big expressions and wild spirit that makes the most frenzy for a calmly amusing experience. In the end, this is a fine piece about greed and the people that try to make a living on obtaining a slice of something better than what they have, or just living on what they don't have. There are quite a bit of sight gags and subtlety to be had here that makes for a fair piece in the famed career of Mel Brooks and the stars that are featured in this comedy of chairs.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

Review #1130: The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

Cast: 
Burt Reynolds (Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd), Dolly Parton (Mona Stangley), Dom DeLuise (Melvin P. Thorpe), Charles Durning (The Governor), Theresa Merritt (Jewel), Jim Nabors (Deputy Fred), Lois Nettleton (Dulcie Mae), Noah Beery Jr. (Edsel), Robert Mandan (Senator Charles Wingwood), and Barry Corbin (C.J.) Directed by Colin Higgins.

Review: 
Admittedly, some films can have some interesting back-story to them. This film, for example, was adapted from the 1978 musical of the same name by Larry L. King and Peter Masterson, who had developed the musical loosely based on events that occurred in La Grange, Texas in 1973. The two contributed to writing the film alongside director Higgins (who had written films such as Harold and Maude), with this being his third and final directed effort before his death in 1988. Carol Hall, writer of the music and lyrics for the musical, contributed to the music for the film alongside Parton, in her second film role after 9 to 5 (1980). One of the production companies involved with the film is Miller-Milkis-Boyett Productions (named for its three people involved, Thomas L. Miller, Edward K. Milkis, and Robert L. Boyett), with them being responsible for producing shows such as Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley alongside films of their own such as Silver Streak (1976) and Foul Play (1978).

With all of that in mind, the film proves to be a fair if not flawed charmer. It doesn't come off as a surprise that the film fell to cuts (reportedly the original version lasted roughly two-and-a-half-hours), particularly when the film starts and ends with Nabors giving off narration to help with telling parts of the story, and that certainly feels a bit weird for something that lasts 114 minutes. At the heart of trying to provide charm is the duo of Reynolds and Parton, who certainly seem to want to generate excitement, particularly when singing together. For the most part, they do a fine job in providing a chuckle and a smile, but it isn't anything too greatly special that you would see from other musicals. Reynolds pulls off his typical swagger and mischievous charm with the kind of effort you expect from him. Parton comes off as appealing and interesting to watch that I don't find too surprising - making the character come alive with a good sense of humor. Their duet song "Sneakin Around" is a decent one to listen to with a foot-tap or two. DeLuise essentially plays a caricature of any sort of "decency police" huckster with the kind of zip and edge (alongside a wardrobe suited for spectacle) that certainly plays fine against the coziness of Reynolds and Parton. Durning stands out in part due to his song "The Sidestep" that certainly clicks as an ear-worm while also being pretty amusing, particularly for the character played. Nabors (who sings the first song of the movie with "20 Fans") is quirky but a welcome presence for a film trying to balance humor with music. The other members of the cast are okay, but the real focus is the main trio, with occasional parts of raunchiness. The movie moves itself at a gradual pace with trying to go through its material with flashes of singing and humor that comes off okay. Its story does sometimes stumble when it comes to its romance, and the cuts made to the film perhaps play a big part in making it have a bit less meat to it than the aspects with songs. One of the more amusing sequences involves Reynolds confronting DeLuise in the town public square, complete with gruff language and a fountain. While I can say that I knew pretty quickly that it was not going to be a great kind of movie, I found myself enjoying it enough to make the experience worth it.

On a sadder note, I would like to say my respects to Burt Reynolds, who died on September 6. In the eight films I have viewed that have featured Reynolds, there is not one performance that isn't in some way memorable or entertaining. His performance in Deliverance is especially one that stands out amongst other fun times delivered in movies such as The Longest Yard and Smokey and the Bandit. I'll end this with a quote from the man himself - "All you really have in the end are your stories.”

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

History of the World, Part I.

Review #1120: History of the World, Part I.

Cast: 
Mel Brooks (Moses / Comicus / Torquemada / Jacques / King Louis XVI), Dom DeLuise (Emperor Nero), Madeline Kahn (Empress Nympho), Harvey Korman (Count de Monet), Cloris Leachman (Madame Defarge), Ron Carey (Swiftus), Gregory Hines (Josephus), Pamela Stephenson (Mademoiselle Rimbaud), Shecky Greene (Marcus Vindictus), Sid Caesar (Chief Caveman), Mary-Margaret Humes (Miriam), Rudy De Luca (Prehistoric Man / Captain Mucus - The Roman Empire), with Orson Welles (Narrator) Directed by Mel Brooks (#061 - Blazing Saddles, #198 - Spaceballs, #248 - Robin Hood: Men in Tights, #361 - The Producers, #364 - High Anxiety, #623 - Silent Movie, and #655 - Young Frankenstein)

Review: 
History of the World, Part I was the seventh film directed and written by Brooks, with this being an anthology film based around numerous moments in history such as the Stone Age or Rome, making fun of the epics and dramas involving sword and sandals and period costumes. It's easy to say that this is one of his weaker films, particularly when compared to his other parodies such as Blazing Saddles for Westerns or High Anxiety for suspense films. However, this film does have its moments that work despite a disjointed feel in part because of the jokes that get thrown out through its 92 minute run-time. In a sense, it is like a greasy burger (or if you're a vegetarian, a salad I suppose) at a fast-food joint: it's probably not great for you, but it will serve its purpose handy enough and it has some flavor. The film revels in its crude nature and its puns while messing around with the historical situations that it presents, with Welles providing a narration that proves effective each time he is heard on screen. Brooks does a fine job handling himself in playing multiple roles, making each one have their moments of amusement without becoming too much of a caricature. DeLuise has brief time on screen, but he certainly plays off things fine enough. Kahn proves amusing with her expressions and eccentric nature in her third and final collaboration with Brooks. Korman and Leachman also do fine in their brief time on screen. Hines, a dancer-singer in his film debut, does fairly well with his role, eliciting a fine bit of charm. The other actors do fine with what they need to do, with a few cameo appearances from actors such as Bea Arthur and Jackie Mason among others that work out fine. Of the numerous segments of the film, "The Spanish Inquisition" one, involving a song-and-dance number along with stylings of torture devices and aquatic ballet that certainly feels absurd enough for its intent, shines fairly enough. The meat of the movie comes through the segments involving Rome and France, although the former lasts a bit better with its jokes throughout its time. The other segments and bits covered do okay, although the consistency does vary. It is safe to say that this is a movie that can be hit and miss, but it will serve well for anyone in the mindset for something with shades of amusement that won't dull all the senses by the time it is finished.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Smokey and the Bandit II.

Review #945: Smokey and the Bandit II.

Cast:
Burt Reynolds (Bo "Bandit" Darville), Jackie Gleason (Sheriff Buford T. Justice / Gaylord Justice / Reginald Van Justice), Jerry Reed (Cledus "Snowman" Snow), Dom DeLuise (Dr. Frederico "Doc" Carlucci), Sally Field (Carrie/"Frog"), Paul Williams (Little Enos Burdette), Pat McCormick (Big Enos Burdette), David Huddleston (John Coen), Mike Henry (Junior Justice), John Anderson (Governor), and Brenda Lee (Nice Lady) Directed by Hal Needham (#033  - Smokey and the Bandit and #034 - The Cannonball Run)

Review:
It's hard to believe it has been over 900 reviews (and six years) since I watched and reviewed Smokey and the Bandit. It is only fitting that I return to do the sequel, after all these days.

When I reviewed the first film in April of 2011, I called it a "load of fun", in part because it really was an enjoyable piece of entertainment. When it comes to the sequel, it is evident quite immediately that it is inferior in pretty much every way to the original. From the comedy to the stunts to the entertainment value to the heart, it is not only a disappointment but it is also a lazy kind of movie. Not only does this feel like a rehash of the first film, it is a bad imitation that only serves producers who wanted to make a profit of the Bandit name. Reynolds himself has admitted his displeasure with the film in interviews, stating how it was an unnecessary sequel, and I can't help but agree.

It's not so much that the actors are terrible, it's the writing that sinks the movie to a level that it never recovers from. Reynolds and Field have decent chemistry when they are simply allowed to interact and not have lines about why their characters broke up in the first place. It would've been better to just have them just be a couple then having this whole thing where they just argue (of course the parts before Field show up where the Bandit is a sad drunk aren't any better). The parts where Bandit has become a sort of folk hero don't really help the film as it does just be a lazy way of invoking the first film over and over again. Reed does a fine job as expected, with "Texas Bound and Flyin" being an adequate title song for the film (though obviously nothing tops "Eastbound and Down"). It's interesting to see Gleason back again, especially when he plays three characters in one scene (through trick photography), and his parts with Henry are useful enough. DeLuise is charming as always, but he doesn't really bring anything to the movie more than just a few Italian phrases; this happened to be filmed around the same time as The Cannonball Run, which while not exactly a great piece of work is easily better than this film, while also having better scenes of Reynolds and DeLuise. The fact that Williams and McCormick don't show up in the movie again after they recruit the main characters also doesn't help, considering they drive the plot (wanting an elephant delivered to a political convention). The fact that everything feels like a caricature doesn't help either.

The only trick that the film seems to have up its sleeve is a big sequence involving 50 cars and semi-trucks piling on each other in the desert, with destruction after destruction. However it only manages to come off as just going through the motions, feeling like a cartoon. The whole movie feels like a dumb cartoon, and it really seems to drag after the first hour or so. It's amusing (in a mocking kind of way) how they don't even end up delivering the elephant to Dallas on time, because of course not. It ends with Justice trying to chase them down on a bus, perfectly encapsulating the lazy nature of a film that comes and goes without a payoff. There are no real stakes, nor are there any moments where I felt like I needed to care about anything that happens. On the whole, the best thing I can say about the movie is that it makes the viewer want to see the original film again. I hope I didn't go too long with my critique, folks.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Silent Movie.

Review #623: Silent Movie.

Cast
Mel Brooks (Mel Funn), Dom DeLuise (Dom Bell), Marty Feldman (Marty Eggs), Bernadette Peters (Vilma Kaplan), Sid Caesar (Studio Chief), Harold Gould (Engulf), and Ron Carey (Devour) Directed by Mel Brooks (#061 - Blazing Saddles, #198 - Spaceballs, #248 - Robin Hood: Men In Tights, #361 - The Producers, and #364 - High Anxiety)

Review
Silent Movie is a spoof on slapstick films of the silent film era, and it even has a cameo from Harry Ritz, one part of the classic Ritz Brothers, one of many associated with the silent film era. The visual gags in this movie are entertaining, even the fact that some of the sounds in this movie are "shown" is hilarious. The actors are fun to watch interact with, especially with Marty Feldman, whose eyes really just follow you even when the focus isn't on him, and that comes to a head when Anne Bancroft's eyes start crossing each other. The guest appearances (Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Liza Minnelli, Anne Bancroft, Paul Newman, Marcel Marceau) add to the charm of the movie because the stuff that happens with them is really hilarious, such as the electric wheelchair chase, Marceau's response to Funn's offer is probably the best response a mime could give to a offer to be in a silent film. The slapstick is fun to watch, especially the weird quirks that go on in this movie, especially the coke machine. The movie may not run long, but it more than makes up for it being a really entertaining film with a good deal of charm and love for its subject matter.

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Magic Voyage.

Review #467: The Magic Voyage.

Cast
Dom DeLuise (Christopher Columbus), Corey Feldman (Pico), Irene Cara (Marilyn), Dan Haggerty (The Swarm Lord / King Ferdinand IV), Mickey Rooney (Narrator), and Samantha Eggar (Queen Isabella) Directed by Michael Schoemann.

Review
The director stated (I kid you not) that this film was to be: "intended to be a film about the discovery of America (Side note: I wonder what the Vikings would say about this...) from a more satirical view in order to differentiate ourselves clearly from the lofty views of history so we can present Columbus as a lovable, charming and befuddled scholar."

The film was made in 1992 originally for German audiences as Die Abenteuer von Pico und Columbus (which roughly translates to The Adventures of Pico and Columbus), as it would be later dubbed in English twice, being released in 1993, just around the 500th anniversary of Columbus' voyage, in which he landed in the Bahamas (as he never actually landed in North America). Given my day off for Columbus Day (which makes me wonder why it's only for Columbus and not for other explorers like Magellan, Ericson, or even explorers in space), I decided to review this.

Why did I talk so much about the film's history? Because I can't decide which is weirder, the film or its history. The main question of the film can be thought of almost immediately after starting to watch this film, and the question is: When did the film get so crazy? Likely answers would be either when Columbus speaks to the woodworm, the fact that a woodworm knows the Earth is round, when the Swarm Lord (No I am not making this up) is introduced, or...all of the above. Halfway through, I started wondering if 1492: Conquest of Paradise or Carry On Columbus would've been better or worse then this, but I'm sure someone else has already answered that for me. The dubbing is notably ad libbed, but not even Dom Deluise can brighten up the film. The animation is poor at times, resembling more of a television movie then an actual motion picture. Trying to mention the inaccuracies that the film has would take way too long to write, and writing so much isn't something I try to do all the time, because I've always assumed no one likes reading a wall of text without some breathing room. You may wonder if there are any redeemable factors in this film, and...there isn't. The terrible animation, the even worse dubbing, the fact this was even made, and just the inane nature of this whole film. Fittingly, the film ends with Columbus musing that there will be a city made on the place they landed in, which turns out to be...New York City. Such a inaccurate statement for such a terrible film. I'd give this film a negative rating if I had to, but since I can't, this film gets to join Birdemic: Shock and Terror and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie in such a non-prestigious honor.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

Review #248: Robin Hood: Men In Tights.

Cast
Cary Elwes (Robin Hood), Richard Lewis (Prince John), Roger Rees (Sheriff of Rottingham), Amy Yasbeck (Maid Marian), Dave Chappelle (Ahchoo), Mark Blankfield (Blinkin), Eric Allan Kramer (Little John) Matthew Porretta (Will Scarlet O'Hara), Isaac Hayes (Asneeze), Tracey Ullman (Latrine the Witch), with Patrick Stewart (King Richard), Dom DeLuise (Don Giovanni), Dick Van Patten (The Abbot), and Mel Brooks (Rabbi Tuckman) Directed by Mel Brooks (#061 - Blazing Saddles and #198 - Spaceballs)

Review
To begin with, this is be the penultimate (as of today) film Mel Brooks has directed (with his last being Dracula: Dead and Loving It), and...it kinda shows. While it does have some laughs, the film is not as funny as Spaceballs (or Blazing Saddles for that matter). Elwes does a good job, even almost as good as his role in The Princess Bride. The film has a good amount of cast members, and the film uses it decently. There are some alright gags, but they probably won't be memorable enough to say (There was this one though where Robin asks the villagers if they want to join: "Yay or nay?" "Which one is the one that means yes?" "Yay....") In a way, it is a bullseye for Brooks, but in another way, it is an arrow that misses the mark by that much.

Countdown to 250 Reviews: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Blazing Saddles.

Review #061: Blazing Saddles.

Cast
Cleavon Little (Sheriff Bart), Gene Wilder (Jim, the "Waco Kid"), Harvey Korman (Hedley Lamarr), Madeline Kahn (Lili von Shtupp, the "Teutonic Titwillow"), Slim Pickens (Taggart), Dom DeLuise (Buddy Bizarre), Mel Brooks (Gov. William J. Le Petomane / Indian Chief), Liam Dunn (Reverend Johnson), George Furth (Van Johnson), Burton Gilliam (Lyle), John Hillerman (Howard Johnson), David Huddleston (Olson Johnson), Richard Collier (Dr. Samuel Johnson), and Alex Karras (Mongo) Directed by Mel Brooks

Review
This film is a classic comedy that satirizes the Old American West myth made by Hollywood. It's enjoyable for the most part, with a good cast and some admittedly off color lines, though this is more than just a movie with some vulgar lines. It's a clever movie, highlighted by how Brooks crafted the atmosphere in order to make a fun world to watch. Little, Wilder, and Korman are the main standouts, doing good jobs (with Wilder later doing better in another film to be reviewed here soon enough here). This film has aged well, and it is a classic.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Cannonball Run.

Review #034: The Cannonball Run.

Cast
Burt Reynolds (J.J. McClure), Dom DeLuise (Victor Prinzi), Roger Moore (Seymour Goldfarb, Jr), Farrah Fawcett (Pamela Glover), Dean Martin (Jamie Blake), Sammy Davis, Jr (Morris Fenderbaum), George Furth (Arthur J. Foyt), Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan), Jamie Farr (Sheik Abdul ben Falafel), Terry Bradshaw (Terry), Mel Tillis (Mel), Adrienne Barbeau (Marcie Thatcher), and Tara Buckman (Jill Rivers) Directed by Hal Needham (#033 - Smokey and the Bandit)

Review
EDIT: While I admit that some of my early reviews aren't exactly up to quality that are more evident in later years, I will still admit that this is a guilty pleasure that I can't help but like, especially considering my dad and I used to watch this movie back when he was around. Plus, it's hard to not like Burt Reynolds. As such, some of this review has been edited for clarity.

This is a fun film with good car scenes and all of the above with comedic jokes that aren't that bad, like that other movie I was talking about, but it finds a way to not be similar to it. It finds a way to combine Terry Bradshaw along with Roger Moore in the same movie, even Peter Fonda and Jackie Chan are in it, though I will admit they could be used better. The acting is decent as it's a good funny film. It has its own brand of enjoyment, thought you need to be in the right mood, or you'll be bored by it. Fun fact: This was actually based on a real race held back in the 1970's, called the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash. Take it as a random 80's flick, and you might be compelled to watch it from beginning to end just to see how it goes along.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.