Review #1266: Fire Maidens from Outer Space.
Cast:
Anthony Dexter (Luther Blair), Susan Shaw (Hestia), Paul Carpenter (Capt. Larson), Jacqueline Curtis (Duessa), Harry Fowler (Sydney Stanhope), Sydney Tafler (Dr. Higgins), Owen Berry (Prasus), Rodney Diak (Anderson), Maya Koumani (Fire Maiden), Richard Walter (The Creature), Norma Arnould (Fire Maiden), and Sylvia Burrows (Fire Maiden) Directed and Written by Cy Roth.
Review:
Fire Maidens from Outer Space (released in the US as Fire Maidens of Outer Space, because...I shrug as to why the name change) is certainly an interesting curiosity. How often do you see a implantation of classical music in a science fiction film? Sure, maybe a few films come to mind, but this is probably the silliest sci-fi film this side of the United Kingdom. The man behind the film is Cy Roth, who directed, produced and wrote the film while collaborating with a small production company in Criterion Films, with separate distribution companies for the two regions. What can I expect from a film that starts with narration about a secret US-UK project that is designated plan thirteen (I take it the ninth plan from outer space wasn't successful) - having ten minutes of exposition before the ridicule to follow in the next seventy minutes sure is something, though. How many times can you cover dreck and write about silly moments before it gets old? Watching terrible films does tend to make one feel a bit better, as if seeing misery makes the hope of finding something better to do seem fruitful. That, or it gives me a chance to write some silly highlights and make fun of things. Whooshing meteors should be an early indicator. One particular favorite is when the space crew are trying to land the rocket in a forest (while on the 13th moon of Jupiter) and they superimpose stock footage of a V-2 rocket landing (or perhaps launch in reverse) onto a shot of some trees, which is about as convincing as the space set itself. Wait a minute or two, and you'll get a shot of the rocket (where the trees are seen through the tail-fin) that looks hysterical, and the fact that the crew gets out of the space rocket through a everyday ladder makes me giggle internally. Do you want to see a sequence of the crew hearing a scream and then hiding in the bushes while someone takes a photo of the space maiden (who lives among the rest in what they call "New Atlantis" - yes I am serious)? You are in luck, then, particularly with the silly creature that we know is probably going to be a treat to see later up close. Nobody really seems to come out of this with too much dignity, as if they have already reached the stage of acceptance (if one replaces grief with bad movie appearances, anyway), although maybe the fire maidens seem to have a fine time being in "New Atlantis" garb and dancing on occasion. There never seems to be a moment where one can really take this seriously, and when it comes to space women, even Cat-Women of the Moon (1953) seems preferable. The fact that the monster is a slender beast in a dark costume (with zippers) that can't be shot is just as funny as the growl noises and his final fate - being hit by a gas grenade that makes him stumble onto some flames. As one would expect from silly films like this, they actually decide to bring back one of the maidens with them to Earth, with the idea of future missions to fulfill the "promise" from their "father" for mates for the maidens (or something like that). On the whole, this reads like a joke to a science-fiction fan, belonging in the cellar with other dreck aptly fit for MST3K mocking but also aptly fit for a laugh if in the right mood. It isn't the worst by any means, but it sure is a stinker.
Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.
