The Giant Spider Invasion.

Review #2443: The Giant Spider Invasion.

Cast:

Steve Brodie (Dr. Vance), Barbara Hale (Dr. Jenny Langer), Robert Easton (Dan Kester), Leslie Parrish (Ev Kester), Alan Hale Jr (Sheriff Jones), Bill Williams (Dutch), Kevin Brodie (Dave Perkins), Dianne Lee Hart (Terry Kester), and Tain Bodkin (Preacher) Directed by Bill Rebane (#756 - Monster A Go-Go)

Review: 

"I call myself a dyed-in-the-wool Wisconsinte and I just believe this state has so much to offer other filmmakers, especially in locations."

I suppose it made sense to give a proper spotlight to Bill Rebane with his most talked about movie. Born in Latvia, he came to the States at age 15 and majored in drama at the Art Institute of Chicago. He worked a variety of jobs in media from WGN-TV to working in Germany involving Cinemascope and his own circular motion picture process. He also worked as an international studio representative with Bendestorf Studios for several years. He wanted to make a feature film in 1961 and began production on what was to be "Terror at Halfday" with June Travis. You might recognize that the movie did come out...as Monster A Go-Go, since Rebane sold his (not quite complete) footage to Herschell Gordon Lewis, who needed a movie to put on a double feature. Apparently, he felt that his real contribution to the industry was the "first 360-degree motion picture process created with one camera" (which had one projector on a seamless screen), brought over from Germany. Later in the decade, he bought a farm property in Gleason, Wisconsin that became "The Shooting Ranch", an actual feature film studio in the Midwest that could do commercials and small-scale films. Rebane used it to do his first true film with Invasion from Inner Earth (1974). Apparently, the Giant Spider Invasion was made for roughly $300,000 and was shot around the Wisconsin towns of Merrill, Tomahawk and Gleason. The movie apparently made millions of dollars (although it was apparently pirated many, many, many times) and Rebane continued to make horror movies for a time, with one even featuring Tiny Tim as a star. His career effectively ended when he had a stroke in 1988, as the farm soon was sold off and Rebane moved away from the town to Hurley. Did you know that Rebane actually ran for Governor of Wisconsin twice? (1978 and 2002, where he was quoted as not really caring about the results). Rebane has lived long enough to see a film festival (as hosted by people from Mystery Science Theater 3000, no less) held in his honor and even served as the focus of a documentary. Apparently, the movie will have an "enhanced version" to celebrate its 50th anniversary later in the month.

 

Admittedly, you probably have low expectations for a movie that dare to call itself "Giant Spider Invasion". And you would be right. This is a movie that has a Volkswagen beetle used to represent a giant spider (one spider was lifted by crane) to go along with "The Skipper" being cast as a goofy sheriff talking to scientists that are claiming the spiders have arisen from a mini-black hole to go along with a diamond plot, I swear. The movie was written by Richard L. Huff and Robert Easton. Easton is mostly known for his countless years of work as dialogue/accent coach (which led to Rebane motivating him the best way possible: locking him in a cabin to write multiple pages to get food) while Huff apparently never wrote for a movie again. The best thing to say is that at least the crowds that run from the spider at least looked like they had fun doing things. Well, that, and the fact that you need crap like this to remind you of what to appreciate when watching movies and saying they look like slop or find on a streaming service (pity). Honestly, while I get how some people call it one of those "cult following things, I just found it kind of boring and not really that interesting as a movie. Easton being in the movie to play a skeevy husband is at least semi-curious, but the movie clashes way too much with what it wants to be: either attempt to be a monster movie like the 1950s or go all out in humor, but pick one, man. The spiders (whether as a car or the actual tarantulas they used) are only moderately funny to see on screen. This might be one of those movies you watch with The Giant Claw (1957), but at least that movie wanted to try and actually follow procedure in monster mashing (okay that movie had a monster from an "antimatter galaxy"). This movie just meanders for 80 minutes with either skeevy weirdos, a preacher that randomly pops in (and doesn't even get eaten!), totally funny line-delivery or bland authorities. Sure, it is funny to look at the countless times where day-for-night shots are actually screwed up, and sure it is funny to look at the absurd juxtaposition of man and car-spider. That's about all you get. On the other hand: at least when you say the name Bill Rebane, you won't immediately think of worse stuff like Monster A Go-Go. There's a lesson to be had there...probably.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Monster A Go-Go.

Review #756: Monster A Go-Go

Cast
Phil Morton (Col. Steve Connors), June Travis (Ruth), Peter M. Thompson (Dr. Chris Manning), Lorri Perry (Girl at Dance), and Henry Hite (Frank Douglas/The Monster). Directed by Bill Rebane and Herschell Gordon Lewis (#752 - Blood Feast)

Review
Happy Turkey Day, everyone. What better way to celebrate then with a movie...like this? Once again, I'm covering a movie riffed by MST3K (which will return in the near future), but this movie has an infamous legacy to begin with. Rebane ran out of money to make the film in 1961, but the story doesn't end here. Lewis needed a film to fill a double bill (Naturally, the first film was named Moonshine Mountain), and so he filmed a few extra scenes and dialogue to make the movie "whole". Isn't that a good sign, watching a movie made solely to make money. It's sad how a movie can be so boring, but it's also sad how a movie can look so boring as well. Nothing in this movie is interesting to watch, not even the Monster's makeup is interesting. Having narration (by "Sheldon Seymour", naturally) either means the movie has no foundation of plot on its own, or is a way to pad the movie out. In this case, the narration fulfills both. The first sign of trouble is not the tiny space capsule, nor the audio, nor the laughable song, but the steps in what appear to be a galaxy floor. Seeing those (space-looking) steps try to evoke terror set the tone for what is an awful movie. It's hard to pay attention to this movie largely because of how boring it is. You would have more fun actually looking for a turkey to eat. If this movie had a soundtrack, it would consist largely of pings, which is sadly the only thing in the movie that will stick with you.  I would recommend the MST3K version of this only because that features actual talent. This is a movie that would be an insult to movie making, but that would imply that this was actually meant as a movie to entertain. The ending might be the only thing one will remember from this, because of how awful it is.

If you are wondering, this is the ending.
As if a switch had been turned, as if an eye had been blinked, as if some phantom force in the universe had made a move eons beyond our comprehension, suddenly, there was no trail! There was no giant, no monster, no thing called "Douglas" to be followed. There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled men of courage, who suddenly found themselves alone with shadows and darkness! 

With the telegram, one cloud lifts, and another descends.  Astronaut Frank Douglas, rescued, alive, well, and of normal size, some eight thousand miles away in a lifeboat, with no memory of where he has been, or how he was separated from his capsule! Then who, or what, has landed here? Is it here yet? Or has the cosmic switch been pulled? Case in point: The line between science fiction and science fact is microscopically thin! You have witnessed the line being shaved even thinner! But is the menace with us? Or is the monster gone?

Yes, there was no monster. By that logic, there was no review of this movie. I was never here. I may have very well never existed. Movie Night may have been just a dream made by a teenager bored out of his mind during sleep that felt like nearly five years but was in reality just 10 minutes.

Or maybe the movie just stinks.

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy turkey (or Turducken), cranberry sauce, stuffing (if you like it, anyway), potatoes (sweet or mashed), ham, dinner rolls, and whatever else you enjoy. And thank you for reading this.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.