College Road Trip.

Review #894: College Road Trip.

Cast: 
Martin Lawrence (Chief James Porter), Raven-Symoné (Melanie Porter), Eshaya Draper (Trey Porter), Donny Osmond (Doug Greenhut), Molly Ephraim (Wendy Greenhut), Kym Whitley (Michelle Porter), Brenda Song (Nancy Carter), Margo Harshman (Katie Crazyman), Arnetia Walker (Grandma Porter), Vincent Pastore (Freddy), and Lucas Grabeel (Scooter) Directed by Roger Kumble (#838 - Just Friends)

Review: 
Of course this movie is terrible. What do you expect? This is the kind of fare meant for younger audiences than I (a 20 year old college student who clearly should be doing better things on break), and while it is easy to admit that some could get a kick out of this movie, it is also evident that this was a dull thing to watch. It even lasts less than 90 minutes (of course), which means this isn't a movie I can't say I wasted too much time on. Lawrence seems more interested in seeing the film end than actually making his character anything other than just a weird dad with typical issues with his daughter, with one of his stunts being to sneak over to a dorm her and her friends are sleeping over to see if there are any boys there (writing this whole sentence made my head hurt)...and he ends up trapped under one of the beds. Raven is fine, but she seems to go through the motions much like the people who end up watching the movie. The only sort of interest was seeing Donny Osmond (of all people) be in the movie for about five minutes (oh, and at the end), if only because it reminded me that the only other time I ever saw Osmond in anything was when he hosted the game show Pyramid (remember that? That was over a decade ago. Oh, and the song "White & Nerdy". You know, these sentences are almost more interesting than talking about the movie...but I digress). Granted, it's him playing an overly energetic character, but it's probably the only thing about the movie worth discussing (that, and him attacking the fiance of his daughter.). Not even a pig (one of those smart ones, because that's a thing) can contribute to any real gags. This just feels like a television movie that was put into theaters, in part because of bland it is. There's nothing terribly offensive (not that there would be), nor anything that you wouldn't find in TV movies. I'd care more, but at least I never had to make a college road trip of my own.

Countdown to #900: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Social Network.

Review #705: The Social Network.

Cast
Jesse Eisenberg (Mark Zuckerberg), Andrew Garfield (Eduardo Saverin), Justin Timberlake (Sean Parker), Armie Hammer (Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss), Max Minghella (Divya Narendra), Rooney Mara (Erica Albright), Brenda Song (Christy Lee), and Rashida Jones (Marylin Delpy) Directed by David Fincher (#586 - Alien 3)

Review
Yes, business is rough. Yes, it seems a lot of people love this movie. Yes, it is true that a lot of people use Facebook, even you (the reader) might as well. I do too. I still don't love the movie. The fact this was made when everyone involved was still alive and the fact that the writer admit that the book the movie was based off is played slightly fast and loose with only makes up the pile of tedium that this movie is for me.  Actually, you could recut this movie into a horror film, especially with the soundtrack, and especially with our main character. It's sad, because the movie is actually well-acted, the problem is the fact that barely any of these characters are ones you want to root for, which makes for a boring clod. By the end of it, you are wondering if the movie you have seen is mainly for people who are into characters of snark or just a big giant joke. Ultimately, this is a movie that left me cold and mostly stoic. But my dilemma is how to rate this movie. Do I give it a high rating for its acting/music/thrills and feel guilty, or do I give it a low rating for the general tedium it gave me that seems harsh? In a way, that is what anyone who watches this movie must do. Either they like the movie, or they grow sick of it. It's really hard to stay in the middle. For once, I won't be too generous with a rating, though I do recommend seeing it just to see if you'll like it any better than I did.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.