Sex Drive.

Review #1088: Sex Drive.

Cast: 
Josh Zuckerman (Ian Lafferty), Amanda Crew (Felicia Alpine), Clark Duke (Lance Johnson), Seth Green (Ezekiel), James Marsden (Rex Lafferty), Katrina Bowden (Ms. Tasty), Alice Greczyn (Mary), Michael Cudlitz (Rick), David Koechner (Hitchhiker), Dave Sheridan (Bobby Jo), Mark L. Young (Randy), and Charlie McDermott (Andy) Directed by Sean Anders.

Review:  
Obligatory sports comment: Oh my stars, the Washington Capitals are actually going to the Stanley Cup, and it's against the Vegas Golden Knights. I hope that all of the games of this series will be entertaining, and I will be glad to see a team hoist the Cup for the first time ever. 

Oh look, a raunchy teen comedy. If you can believe it, the film is based off a book, named All the Way by Andy Behrens. In any case, what can one expect from a movie such as this? I didn't expect much from it, and I wasn't exactly disappointed. I was reminded of Superbad (#1032) in that the two films both had nerdy leads that were driven by their desire to become men, but it became pretty obvious quickly that Superbad was the better experience, having a good cast and a consistent pace that had a heart to it with confidence in what it wants to be. This film is just as crude as the other one (with a unrated cut that ups the ante), but it isn't as funny with its lewdness because it just isn't as clever. The cast is a mixed bag. Zuckerman is occasionally funny, but he can't really elevate his character towards anything too mildly interesting to follow through, which can also apply to Crew, who feels a bit lacking at times. Their plotlines just seem a bit too routine and a bit too boring to really generate much laughs. Duke is fairly amusing, however, having a confidence and swagger that gives the film some needed laughs at times. Green is also pretty amusing, having a biting sarcasm that certainly helps give the movie some sort of edge in his brief time on screen. Marsden also a few amusing moments with his swaggering character. The payoff and climax is what you (mostly) might expect, for better or worse.

The biggest problem with the movie is that it just isn't funny enough to really justify its own existence, raunchy or not. Even if you already know what's going to happen (with it's structure, anyway), there isn't enough with these characters and the gags to make something worthwhile from start to finish. Sure, there are some moments that are pretty interesting (such as the hitchhiker / radiator trouble sequences), but a good part of the time just feels a bit like going through the motions, whether through a four letter word or through some method. There exist two cuts of the film, with the original cut being 109 minutes long, while the "Unrated Cut" lasts 129 minutes, with the latter being what you would expect, which may be more enjoyable or painful, depending on your view of the film. It isn't a terrible experience, and it will deliver some cheap thrills, but it also is just a movie that will come and go just as quickly as it came.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Surviving Christmas.

Review #890: Surviving Christmas.

Cast:

Ben Affleck (Drew Latham), James Gandolfini (Tom Valco), Christina Applegate (Alicia Valco), Catherine O'Hara (Christine Valco), Josh Zuckerman (Brian Valco), Bill Macy (Doo-Dah/Saul), Jennifer Morrison (Missy Vangilder), and Udo Kier (Heinrich) Directed by Mike Mitchell (#209 - Shrek Forever After)

Review:

Here's a quick description of how the movie is: It's terrible. It is easy to say this movie is terrible, because it is terrible on a massive scale. The majority of the jokes do not land. The characters aren't ones to root for in any capacity, nor ones we should be following. The story trudges at such a bland pace that borders on being tedious that it makes for not only an unfunny movie but also a boring movie. It isn't so much Affleck's fault as it is the script's fault for being bad. Never once does his character come off as anything other than pathetic or flat out creepy. His pursuit of trying to spend time with people so he isn't alone on Christmas (which means bribing a family, naturally) never really rises to a level where I should actually care. It just comes off as sad, not something to inspire laughs, which is a problem in a movie trying desperately (or for a lack of a better word, lamely) to make you laugh. Gandolfini is somewhat better, in the sense that his character seems easier to go along with. It doesn't mean he's likable, but it does mean that it seems more easier to accept. Applegate doesn't have a bad edge to her either, but she also doesn't really have much characterization either. Her chemistry with Affleck seems more basic than anything else, with no real sort of impact. It's nice to see O'Hara, but her character also isn't really anything of note. When one of the quips of the movie is a Sonny Bono reference (to his skiing accident, no less), it really does say something about just how this movie wants to take itself.

Perhaps it is easy to make a cynical kind of Christmas movie, which this film falls under. These are movies that try to be festive by completely taking the spirit out of what makes movies, and in effect the holiday being covered. There are movies like Elves (#680), which are dumb, but harmless in its attempt at cheer, even with killer elves. Then there are movies like Christmas with the Kranks (#082) and Just Friends (#838), ones with the bare minimum of cheer along with a lack of laughs. But then there are movies like Santa Claus (1959, #309) Jingle All the Way (#491), The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (#496), Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (#507), Four Christmases (#772) and A Madea Christmas (#872), where it seems that cheer has been replaced with some form of misery, intentional or not. There aren't really any sort of laughs because of the movie, though it can inspire laughs at its expense. And then of course there is Deck the Halls (#497), the ultimate in terrible Christmas movies (for this show), a movie that sucks out the holiday spirit completely with a baseless plot and even more baseless characters. But with all of this, where does Saving Christmas stand? I'd say it falls around the bottom, managing to be a movie bereft of fun while also tremendously tedious as well.

Most of the examples listed actually sound like they could've been made into dramas, in part because they aren't really funny enough to be anything other than sad ideas. In fact, this film actually does have some attempt at drama, particularly at the end, but of course the movies doesn't actually have any sort of buildup nor does it earn any sort of pity. Most of these movies (except Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) deserve pity for being terrible. Here's the bottom line: Skip this movie.

Countdown to 900 Reviews: 10...

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.