Exorcist: The Beginning.

Review #2466: Exorcist: The Beginning.

Cast: 

Stellan Skarsgård (Father Lankester Merrin), Izabella Scorupco (Sarah), James D'Arcy (Father Francis), Remy Sweeney (Joseph), Julian Wadham (Major Granville), Andrew French (Chuma), Ralph Brown (Sergeant Major), Ben Cross (Semelier), David Bradley (Father Gionetti), Alan Ford (Jefferies), Antonie Kamerling (Lieutenant Kessel), with Eddie Osei (Emekwi), and Rupert Degas (Pazuzu) Directed by Renny Harlin (#016 - Die Hard 2, #670 - Cliffhanger, #745 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, #2163 - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, #2240 - Cutthroat Island)

Review:

"What I tried to do is set up a lot of those unanswered questions that we see in the original. There are a lot of open plotlines that are never explained, so I tried to make it so that if you watch this film and then watch the original 'Exorcist,' the original will seem like the sequel."

Hey, remember when people thought The Exorcist could be a franchise? Morgan Creek Productions, not content with their excessive tinkering of William Peter Blatty's The Exorcist III (1990), had started plans to make a prequel to, well, The Exorcist (1973) in the late 1990s. William Wisher Jr (co-writer of Terminator 2: Judgement Day) did a first draft, and there were already people hired to try and helm the project by 1999 with Tom McLoughlin, but he left because of issues with the script. Apparently, the 2000 re-release (and subsequent money made from it) of the Exorcist film helped to put The Beginning on the fast track. Caleb Carr (novelist of books such as The Alienist) revised the screenplay and there were plans to have John Frankenheimer direct with Liam Neeson as the star in the summer of 2002...but neither came to pass, as Frankenheimer fell ill; he died in July 2002. Instead, Paul Schrader (director of Cat People (1983) and writer of films such as Taxi Driver) was hired to direct, with "Exorcist: The Beginning" beginning filming in late 2002. Schrader did his rewrite of the script to trim certain things, and the film was first screened to studio executives in May of 2003...and they didn't even bother to give him notes, as he was dumped because they apparently wanted to "re-edit the movie to make it scarier". They tried to re-cut the movie with Schrader involved and then Morgan Creek said to hell with things and instead searched for a new director for the film. They landed on Renny Harlin, who went with re-writes (Skip Woods, Alexi Hawley, and even Harlin himself, although only Hawley was credited), a few new actors (all but Skarsgård, French, Kamerling, and Wadham left) and, well, "action". The new Beginning film was shot in late 2003 but apparently had a hell of a time actually finishing production (Schrader had his film ripped out from under him, Harlin got hit by a car during production and was on crutches). In total, a movie that wa meant to be done for $35 million ballooned to $90 million and wasn't even screened for critics. At least Schrader seemed positive about seeing his version come to the masses, albeit as a "there's a buck to be made" while Blatty (in seeing The Beginning with Schrader in a theater) called The Beginning "surely the most humiliating professional experience of my life, particularly the finale."

It is so funny that Morgan Creek wanted to make a "scarier" film and wasted so much money on a venture that was just going to be skewered no matter what because of the history that comes with trying to play off the "Exorcist" name. III was the only good follow-up, and that was the one where the studio forced an exorcism for the climax. Harlin's movie suffers from just feeling so routine in its execution to the point of exhaustion, mainly because it is a corny experience to actually see play out, at least when you consider buried churches, goofy climaxes with voices, and butterflies. Apparently, Skarsgård (cast as a young version originally played by Max Vox Sydow, who also happened to be from Sweden) had differing approaches for his performance in each movie, once being quoted as saying that he was "much darker" in the Schrader version and even changed his makeup for this version. Undeniably, he does at least manage to be the shining light in either version you watch, mainly because you buy him as Merrin without it seeming like someone just playing dress-up. It at least matters a tiny bit to see his progression beyond just moving away from religion and to step into the shoes that we know, suffice to say. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast does not fare as well, mainly because the movie is so confused about what it really wants to do besides cheap moments (one guy slashing himself, another guy confronting butterflies and shooting himself) that you don't get a feel for any of them. One guy has a bunch of boils on his face and that's about all you can really say as a character. I guess there's one neat line in talking about the spot where Lucifer fell when it comes to the spooky buried church. The movie tries to fake you out in the idea that the focus of the possessed is actually a kid when really it is a woman and honestly, I couldn't help but chuckle because it meant that you at least see a spider-walk from an adult (complete with a demon voice talking about mounting because get it, they did it in the first one) rather than having to see the image of a kid doing it. One doesn't care about the conflict of the people besides Merrin, this could've almost been set anywhere if you think about it, complete with a lack of mystery. In general, the movie is just kind of boring, not really doing anything that makes you think about the first film in a different light while being a general waste of everyone's time. As someone who does give slack on occasion to compromised movies and things*, this was just one of those movies that goes out one ear and through the other. Morgan Creek spent oodles of money but couldn't find anything for audiences to give a damn about, that's probably the scariest thing in the whole movie.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

*Exorcist III was probably better with the exorcism in it, change my mind. Or Rise of Skywalker. Or The Stupids. Or any other strange film that I at least have given credit to over the years.

Cutthroat Island.

Review #2240: Cutthroat Island.

Cast: 

Geena Davis (Morgan Adams), Matthew Modine (William Shaw), Frank Langella (Douglas "Dawg" Brown), Maury Chaykin (John Reed), Patrick Malahide (Ainslee), Stan Shaw (Glasspoole), Rex Linn (Mr. Blair), Paul Dillon (Snelgrave), Chris Masterson (Bowen), Jimmie F. Skaggs (Tom Scully), Harris Yulin ("Black" Harry Adams) and Angus Wright (Trotter) Directed by Renny Harlin (#016 - Die Hard 2, #670 - Cliffhanger, #745 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and #2163 - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane)

Review: 

Not all failures are created equal, but I'm sure you already know that. It isn't so much that the film was hated by audiences (barely anybody saw it), it was the fact that you don't get that many films labeled as "studio killers". The original idea for the film was sprung by James Gorman and Michael Frost Beckner, who had wanted to make a modernized pirate genre film involving hunting down folks for pieces of a map for adventure. That idea was presented and bought by Carolco Pictures. You might remember that Carolco (as originally founded by Mario Kassar and Andrew G. Vajna) was the production company involved in films such as First Blood (1982) and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) but they had bet badly on their spending to the point of teetering debt. Cutthroat Island would be their last big-budget gasp (after selling the rights to other films in production such as Showgirls (1995), strangely enough), and it came out in the winter of 1995, one month after the studio filed for bankruptcy protection. It should be noted that six writers were credited by the time the film was finished (Bruce A. Evans & Raynold Gideon for the story alongside Gorman & Beckner to go with Robert King & Marc Norman for the screenplay). Any chance for a well-adjusted budget feature of swashbuckling with stars went right down with hiring Renny Harlin, who actually was running on the heels of films such as Cliffhanger (1993). It was he who casted his wife (Academy Award winner Geena Davis) into ideas of being an action-adventure star that managed to turn the idea of pairing her with Michael Douglas (who did not want to play second fiddle) into one where she was instead paired with Matthew Modine (he can fence!). This, alongside massive delays in shooting (Oliver Reed was supposed to do a cameo, take one guess what happened) and re-writes and you have the recipe for a movie that maybe, maybe not, deserves to be looked at under the hood beyond just saying it is a flop.  

Take this with a grain of salt: it is about exactly what you think would be in a pirate film for the kid at heart. It is right in the sweet spot of having craftsmanship show in each scene when it comes to crafting sequences with the look (sword fight or otherwise) ...but I'll be damned if I can really defend the movie beyond shrugging my shoulders and saying, "it worked for me". Pirate films just aren't the thing I really do much of (one has the choice of "Treasure Island" adaptations, or something based on theme parks), but I can say that the swashbuckler level is on the level I was hoping for. It may be hokey, it may be silly, but it doesn't bullshit itself in acts of contortion (i.e. the film has folks that at least look like they don't want to crawl into a hole and stay there). I will give the credit to Davis (and others who had to do stunts, when possible, clearly) when it comes to rolling along with the punches of serviceable pulp that is right at "looks like they can kick someone's ass" type of home. The nicest thing to say about Modine is that at least some of the quips are tolerable, but if you imagine that the role was supposed to be a riff on flipping the usual "rescue time in adventure" thing, it kind of works better. Undeniably, Langella shines above the rest because he is clearly having a ball with such an over-the-top villainous role (sure, he may have killed a few relatives, but at least he wasn't the one cutting someone's scalp...for a map piece). Who else could play a scene involving cutting down mouths to feed on a ship by just casually blasting a guy away than Langella (and his pleasant timing)? His coarse nature is at least the setup to a useful conflict with Davis when it comes to "PIRATE-fight" for the climax, and I think you get exactly what you pay for with the ending, which has a magnificent exploding ship. The other castmates are fair and fine for what is needed, although it amuses me that most of the folks that face peril or death are either in cameo form or in the case of certain folks are just flayed. John Debney's music score (particularly in the opening) might actually be the best thing of the whole film, which really does get the ball rolling in a positive direction. I can't say the movie does anything completely new for its genre, but I found myself chuckling with it in those familiar setups and payoffs because it clearly has a zest to just run. I never found it trying my patience or packed with any big detracting marks on it, and I would say that makes for a relatively comfortable experience. It's a neatly flawed movie that could mark the spot for worthwhile entertainment if one is hooked by the end result of timbers shivered, which I think is the case here. 

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars. 

Next up: No joke, Radioland Murders.

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

Review #2163: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

Cast: 

Andrew Dice Clay (Ford Fairlane), Wayne Newton (Julian Grendel), Priscilla Presley (Colleen Sutton), Lauren Holly (Jazz), Brandon Call (The Kid), Maddie Corman (Zuzu Petals), David Patrick Kelly (Sam the Sleaze Bag), Morris Day (Don Cleveland), Robert Englund (Smiley), Ed O'Neill (Lt. Amos), Gilbert Gottfried (Johnny Crunch), and Vince Neil (Bobby Black) Directed by Renny Harlin (#016 - Die Hard 2, #670 - Cliffhanger, #745 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master)

Review: 

"I just really commit to what I do as a performer. It's not about being misunderstood, I think my career took off at a time when the world was changing a lot. Women were really fighting for their rights, gays were coming out of the closet, so I was like a lightning rod for every group looking for publicity. And that's what really caused a lot of craziness in my life." - Andrew Dice Clay

Oh hell, I knew this was coming. When it comes to hearing about films with dubious reputations, one of the films that popped up every so often was this one, and perhaps for good reason. This was the first and perhaps only starring role for the one and only Andrew Dice Clay. Clay (who used his middle name for his stage name as opposed to "Silverstein") was born in Brooklyn and found a talent in entertaining from a young age.  He was actually a drummer when it came to entertaining as a teen before deciding to become a comedian, which saw him cite people such as Elvis Presley and Sylvester Stallone as influences. He went from impressions to a moniker known as, well, the "Diceman". This persona was known for his brash and raunchy sense of self (such as say, a performance at Rodney Dangerfield's club) that garnered attention and controversy. Raunchy nursery rhymes got him banned from MTV, for example. He did a handful of films and television during this time, most notably with supporting roles in Casual Sex? (1988) and Crime Story. Eventually he got his own HBO special, and it led to his own film here, which came in the wake of selling out Madison Square Garden in back-to-back nights. The film was based on characters as created by Rex Weiner, who had written a handful of stories published in serial form for New York Rocker and the LA Weekly. David Arnott, James Cappe, and Daniel Waters (remember Heathers? Or Hudson Hawk, which I should get back to someday...?) helped to write the film (evidently an early script exists here). Amidst all the fanfare and whatever you want to call controversy, the film was not a major hit with audiences. One year later, the concert film Dice Lives was released to little fanfare that comes from a NC-17 rating and a decision by Fox to not distribute the film because of their attempts to try and position Clay away from that aforementioned Diceman persona. He may never have become a big film presence, but Clay still plugs away at the comedy routine (older stuff had, well, nursery rhymes) with occasional appearances in film (A Star is Born (2018), for example). This film was directed by Renny Harlin, who was pretty busy as a director, because this film came out exactly one week after the release of his other effort for Fox in Die Hard 2, which apparently happened because Fox pushed the release date back (according to Waters, it was supposed to come out in May of 1990, as opposed to July, "to build Dice awareness…big mistake!" There probably is even more for one to discover about the film as a curiosity in the audio sense).

Do you yearn to know what lies beneath a film that name drops Art Mooney for a plot point to go with Clay narrating every now and then straight out of a silly noir and a koala puppet for some reason?  There is something there in this strange hodgepodge of a performance from Clay. Sure, the chunk of that is filled with obscenities, but I think it actually works out in his favor with such a loopy film that favors every tawdry cliche in the book. It is kind of amusing to watch this goof play around with clubs and chicks like they were clothes off the rack with a "playing hard to want" confidence. Outdated? Maybe, but it is that kind of outdatedness that seems strangely in-date when it comes to loud blowhards and even louder sense of self that reminds one of Elvis in the weirdest of ways (is it a coincidence that there is a Presley cast in the film?). His crudeness and reaction to some of his own one-liners amuse me in that weird way, what can I say? If anything, it should be even more over-the-top just to bash it over your head. Listening to a selection of material of Clay makes me realize that, well, some people really do just not know what "schtick" is (sure, there are things offensive to not let stick in conversation or in society, so good luck enforcing that beyond "mean words"). Shocking folks can't stay fresh forever, but good ol' ridiculous ideas in trying to make certain folks work as stars can never die out, you might say. Holly plays the "under-looked assistant presence" that you've seen in a few detective-schlock, but she is game for the whole thing in patience (to a point), so that works out. Same with Corman in goofball antics. You know, I'm actually not surprised to see Newton as the main threat, because he was actually pretty conniving in License to Kill (1989). There is some sort of hokum with the ranging plot about "the industry", but it is serviceable as a counter to Clay in the idea of silly dumb noirs, particularly since he basically stumbles and fumbles around more than anything. Gottfried is actually under-utilized here, which is amusing in context because Howard Stern was considered for this small role, and I can say that Gottfried's ribbing of Clay is desperately needed more in the film, particularly since his final scene is him acting out getting electrocuted. I think any film that gives O'Neill and Englund time to be silly (one gets to sing terribly and the other gets to be goofily creepy) is at least worth spending a few brain cells with - I play favorites, what can I say? As a whole, the movie isn't exactly the kind of thing you can hang as the great underrated classic or something that needed a boatload of sequels, but I would at least say the quality was better than one would have you to believe, particularly for those with the patience to sit through a grab-bag of corny lines and cliches. It is a vanity project that is a lightning rod for people who didn't like who Clay was as a comedian or found something odd in the idea of trying to make him a presence in films. Three decades later, in a climate filled with even more attempts at vanity projects and varying levels of schtick from comedians (real or imagined), I would say this is at the very least a decent one to check out. Maybe not "cult classic", but "fine" works out just the same.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.

Review #745: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.

Cast
Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger), Lisa Wilcox (Alice Johnson), Danny Hassel (Dan Jordan), Brooke Theiss (Debbie Stevens), Andras Jones (Rick Johnson), Tuesday Knight (Kristen Parker), Toy Newkirk (Sheila Kopecky), Rodney Eastman (Joey Peterson), and Ken Sagoes (Roland Kincaid) Directed by Renny Harlin (#016 - Die Hard and #670 - Cliffhanger)

Review
I've talked about the previous three films (#474, #476, #649) before, which had varied in their level of enjoyment, though the original still shines over the first two. With this film, the statement is still true, though at least Freddy's Revenge still retains its title of being the lesser of the four movies (the remake doesn't count). It's funny how the three survivors from the last film are killed off in the first 30 (or so) minutes, which is disappointing, but oh well, I guess these new characters aren't too bad. Regardless of that, if you liked Dream Warriors, you'll probably like this one as well, mainly due to it being enjoyable. Once again, Englund steals the show, managing to be creepy but also entertaining to a degree. Wilcox's character gradually becomes more interesting, pretty much after people start dying off. The other characters (save for Dan) have one main characteristic that defines them (like the one who is smart, but also has asthma...which is all you get to know, basically), which naturally is used against them, but their abilities (like being a martial arts specialist) gets passed on to Alice, which is somewhat interesting. I guess being the "Dream Master" means she can transfer what she wears in the awake world to the dream world. Really, the only reason Freddy keeps targeting the others (the ones who aren't the kids of the parents that burned Freddy originally, with the movie noting that Kristen is the last sibling) is because of Kristen bringing in Alice. The movie keeps a good pace, while also managing to have some scares along with some good effects. It's a decent sequel that manages to not go quite off the rails.

Countdown to 750 Reviews: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Cliffhanger.

Review #670: Cliffhanger.

Cast
Sylvester Stallone (Gabe Walker), John Lithgow (Eric Qualen), Michael Rooker (Hal Tucker), Janine Turner (Jessie Deighan), Rex Linn (Richard Travers), Leon Robinson (Kynette), Craig Fairbrass (Delmar), Gregory Scott Cummins (Ryan), and Denis Forest (Heldon) Directed by Renny Harlin (#012 - Die Hard 2)

Review
Honestly, this sounds like something that could've been made in the 40's/50's, especially with the cliffs. But hey, some idea did stay original in the 90's, all you needed to do is add an action star and a villain with a cool accent and boom, you've got a winner. Stallone is entertaining enough, I guess when you co-write the screenplay, you can seem just fine (the "Premise by John Long" credit notwithstanding), but there you go. Lithgow is at entertaining enough as a villain, though he only gets one fight with Stallone...which lasts about 3 minutes. For some reason, my favorite actor in this film is Rex Linn. I don't know, maybe it's his exasperated expression, or his killer mustache (insert your CSI: Miami joke here). The cliff action is pretty fun though, you can enjoy it and still have a laugh anyway. You can be a good action/adventure film and yet still have some laughs with it (not necessarily at it), I especially like the scene where Linn's looking for a case of money...and the tracker leads him to a rabbit. Yes, he shoots at the bunny. And yes, he misses as the bunny runs away. This actually drives his character to go crazy. What's even more funny is the fact the original scene had the bunny dying before Stallone (personally) changed it due to crowd reaction. You want some entertaining action and a decent enough film? Then this is for you.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Die Hard 2.

Review #016: Die Hard 2.

Cast
Bruce Willis (John McClane), Bonnie Bedelia (Holly Gennero-McClane), William Sadler (Colonel Stuart), Art Evans (Leslie Barnes), William Atherton (Dick Thornburg), Franco Nero (General Ramon Esperanza), Dennis Franz (Captain Carmine Lorenzo), Fred Thompson (Ed Trudeau), John Amos (Major Grant), and Reginald VelJohnson (Al Powell) Directed by Renny Harlin.

Review
This film brings out all the stops of action and story with alright performances that are almost better then the first one (even if you go to watch the action). Although not directed by the first Director (John McTiernan), Harlin manages to make a movie with a bit of the tone from the first one but not too much like it. The plot is decent, but out of the four Die Hard films as of 2010, this one is probably the least remembered even for a sequel because it isn't as fun as the others, but is still a decent film.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.