Laserblast.

Review #2316: Laserblast.

Cast: 

Kim Milford (Billy Duncan), Cheryl Smith (Kathy Farley), Gianni Russo (Tony Craig), Roddy McDowall (Dr. Mellon), Keenan Wynn (Colonel Farley), Dennis Burkley (Deputy Pete Ungar), Barry Cutler (Deputy Jesse Jeep), Mike Bobenko (Chuck Boran), Eddie Deezen (Froggy), and Ron Masak (Sheriff) Directed by Michael Rae.

Review: 

Admittedly, willingly watching this movie is low-hanging fruit on the levels of say, Trog (1970). But you have to have a palate cleanser when it comes to wondering what kind of crap exists for sci-fi, so here's one for the books. You might wonder about the director of the film in Michael Rae. Well, there isn't much to really say, because it is the most notable movie he directed. However, it is a production produced by Charles Band (son of Albert Band, who himself had directed movies such as I Bury the Living), who at least some people know for a variety of low-budget films directed and produced over the years, which started with Last Foxtrot in Burbank (1973); his brother Richard even worked on the music for the film (alongside Joel Goldsmith). The movie had alien effects from David W. Allen, who did a variety of movie effects that spanned from Equinox (1970) to puppet/effects work in Young Sherlock Holmes (1985; he received an Academy Award nomination) to several Band productions prior to his death in 1999. Franne Schacht and Frank Ray Perilli wrote the movie, and the latter (also a writer on that Burbank film) actually did manage to write something better in that he was a co-writer with John Sayles on...Alligator (1980). 

Admittedly, I do check around to see how certain movies are rated when it comes to picking out ones with reputations in the tank. With this one...eh, I don't get it, the movie is merely just a hokey dud that is pretty strange to try and sit through for 80 minutes. One minute you'll see a bit featuring an old pro getting a quick buck in Wynn and then if you turn around for a bit you'll see "Character Actor Pro" Burkley playing a silly cop before you see the guy from The Godfather and a young (if there ever was a time to say that) Eddie Deezen. All of this goes with an amusing looking laser device, a not quite-so thought-out outline and effects that only work best when looking at aliens only. The fact that the film has a sequence where one is seen blasting a Star Wars sign is probably the biggest chuckle the film has to offer (intentionally or not), since I assumed the film was too cheap to afford a Close Encounters of the Third Kind sign. Milford had appeared in the theatre from a young age, later appearing in the original Broadway productions of Hair and The Rocky Horror Show. This was the first of his three most prominent film appearances in 1978, where he appeared in Corvette Summer and Bloodbrothers. Sadly, Milford suffered with heart defects throughout his life that saw him die at the age of 37 in 1988. The movie doesn't give him the plight one would expect from a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde knockoff to, well, actually drive drama to where it needs to go for meaningful tragedy (he may have a girl but sticking his hand up the silly weapon so he can use his other hand to fire it is clearly worth more because....). One just sees the routine of making him look like a ghoul and just sighs. The best part might as well being the pot-smoking cops played by Burkley and Cutler (folks might recognize the former as having voiced Principal Moss in King of the Hill), since they merely are shooting the breeze in a way that inspires chuckles more than quizzical stares; naturally, the film has to let one of them get lasered, so of course it has to be done when taking a bathroom break. Russo merely inspires a chuckle in trying to play the agent type for a film that barely has any cohesive structure when it comes to "pursuit", particularly when you have Wynn there to briefly exchange words about totally relevant stuff. Smith has nothing of presence to actually say, which is funny for a film where McDowall is given the bare minimum to do for what I'm sure what was a lark. The fact that Deezen is playing a nerd that actually gets in on bullying the lead is actually more amusing than the performance itself that came out before I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Grease. The movie has little to really offer beyond a few moments spent with the aliens (which naturally works out to set up a convenient ending), which seem more at home for the film than some of the actors. The movie ends just as weirdly as it starts, featuring convenience to wrap itself just as amusingly as it had set itself (aliens blasting people and stuff). The movie is dopey but a curiosity that I could at least see had something worth looking into beyond calling it one made on liquor and stupidity. In that regard, it might be worth a sit to gawk at the results.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Next up: For Thanksgiving, have a lump of coal with Uwe Boll and BloodRayne.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

Review #2229: I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

Cast: 

Nancy Allen (Pam Mitchell), Bobby Di Cicco (Tony Smerko), Marc McClure (Larry Dubois), Susan Kendall Newman (Janis Goldman), Theresa Saldana (Grace Corrigan), Wendie Jo Sperber (Rosie Petrofsky), Eddie Deezen (Richard "Ringo" Klaus), Christian Juttner (Peter Plimpton), Will Jordan (Ed Sullivan), Read Morgan (Peter's Father), Claude Earl Jones (Al), and James Houghton (Eddie) Directed by Robert Zemeckis (#317 - The Polar Express, #352 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit, #581 - Forrest Gump, #648 - Beowulf, #701 - Back to the Future, #747 - Back to the Future Part II, #748 - Back to the Future Part III, #1527 - Cast Away)

Review: 

Sure, there have been a few Beatles-related films here and there. But this is one that its creators often referred to as "a cross between American Graffiti and Ben-Hur" that somehow makes sense (for the latter film, one never sees a certain face...). Robert Zemeckis spent a decade studying and working prior to this film. Robert Zemeckis spent a decade studying and working prior to this film. This included meeting Bob Gale at USC Film School that shared his interest in making "Hollywood movies". Zemeckis directed a short film called "A Field of Honor" that saw him awarded a Student Academy Award in 1975 that attracted the attention of Steven Spielberg because, well, Zemeckis barged into Spielberg's office one day to show it to him. This got Spielberg to be a mentor to Zemeckis that would see him tabbed to direct his first feature film at Universal Pictures, which was this film. Apparently, the original idea was basically the question of if one could make a movie just about waiting in line that eventually spiraled from there. 1978 was an interesting idea for Beatles-adjacent films, with this (loosely sharing the title of The Beatles song "I Want"-oh you already know) being the middle of a group that included the TV mockumentary All You Need Is Cash and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (the jukebox musical with plenty of Beatles songs...as mostly covered by Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees). The resulting film (as written by Zemeckis and Gale as their first filmed screenplay) was not a hit despite warm reviews (preview and beyond) but Zemeckis and Gale kept busy, with the two's script for 1941 being filmed (by Spielberg) and released in 1979 before Zemeckis directed his next film with Used Cars (1980).

It is a pretty madcap film (98 minutes) about the nature of a moment crystalized in time, specifically February of 1964. It is a warmhearted film about people who just get swept up in the mayhem of Beatlemania for a film that lives it to the fullest in a way that manages to ride on charm without needing to show a Beatle up close (which goes with a main group where 28-year-old Allen was the most experienced on film). It is a neatly constructed ensemble film that doesn't have (or really need) an all-encompassing narrative to just roll with people that all manage to evoke a certain time and type (which even features Murray the K, who really referred to himself as a "fifth Beatle") that one can resonate with amid all of the nostalgia that doesn't cloy for a return of the old days but instead just rides the wave of hysteria. One does not wince at seeing the hysteria that arises from these folks, such as saying "Well, his wife could die" when presented with the fact that one of the Beatles being married or just the fact that people could go gaga for something that just happened be in the stomping ground of a Beatle. There is a key balance among the four leading stories that shows a guiding touch of humor within self-realization (small or not), starting with Allen, who has such worthwhile timing when it comes to finding that nerves really do wash away when faced with let's just say is euphoria with a guitar (as opposed to just being a reluctant pal-to-be-wife). Sperber is probably the one that draws the most amusement, because she is paired a good chunk of the time with Deezen and his particular type of energy (perhaps not surprisingly, he has called himself the "world's biggest" Beatles fan) as devotes fans that really makes one consider just how wrapped up a "fan" can be. The rest of the cast does pretty well in drawing amusement in the exhibition of teenage impulse (you know the usual, such as pushing folk music, wannabee saboteur, or wavering fixations), which probably works best with the sequence involving Newman, Di Cicco and Juttner that sees them abscond with tickets with some silly movements and lines that they sell just as well as any other time in the film. The Sullivan sequence involving shots that cut from seeing the group (amid a crowd of other fans) and then, well, parts of that Beatles performance (with stand-ins obviously that were coordinated by a Beatles superfan when it came to movements) is the cherry on top of a worthwhile journey with a pride for the time it aims to capture without stuttering at any real moment. Sure, it is a familiar film in its comedy, but it is a comforting type of film that shows talent among its young cast and crew in terms of execution and overall charm.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Polar Express.

Review #317: The Polar Express.

Cast
Tom Hanks (The Conductor, the Hobo, Santa Claus, and the Narrator), Daryl Sabara (Hero Boy), Eddie Deezen (Know-It-All Kid), Nona Gaye (Hero Girl), Peter Scolari (Billy the Lonely Boy), Dylan Cash (Boy on Train), Jimmy Bennett (Billy), with Brendan King and Andy Pellick (the Pastry Chefs) Directed by Robert Zemeckis.

Review
This is one of those strange Christmas films, a motion capture computer animated film, where apparently the movements are captured and then inserted into computer animation. If this sounds weird, it kinda is. Hanks portrays a more than just one character, and he does a reasonable job balancing the roles. Zemeckis does a decent job directing. The acting by the other cast are okay, not horrible, but not entirely special. The main thing of contention is the animation. It is either lifelike and creates a sense of magic or it is slightly creepy and it makes you wonder why they didn't just make a regular animated film. I pick the middle. While it does have some of the magic that makes a classic, it sometimes feels artificial, deliberately checking things off the list of what to do. While I don't think it's a classic by much means, it is recommended for anyone who likes trains and some Christmas spirit. Just expect some odd animation.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.