Laserblast.

Review #2316: Laserblast.

Cast: 

Kim Milford (Billy Duncan), Cheryl Smith (Kathy Farley), Gianni Russo (Tony Craig), Roddy McDowall (Dr. Mellon), Keenan Wynn (Colonel Farley), Dennis Burkley (Deputy Pete Ungar), Barry Cutler (Deputy Jesse Jeep), Mike Bobenko (Chuck Boran), Eddie Deezen (Froggy), and Ron Masak (Sheriff) Directed by Michael Rae.

Review: 

Admittedly, willingly watching this movie is low-hanging fruit on the levels of say, Trog (1970). But you have to have a palate cleanser when it comes to wondering what kind of crap exists for sci-fi, so here's one for the books. You might wonder about the director of the film in Michael Rae. Well, there isn't much to really say, because it is the most notable movie he directed. However, it is a production produced by Charles Band (son of Albert Band, who himself had directed movies such as I Bury the Living), who at least some people know for a variety of low-budget films directed and produced over the years, which started with Last Foxtrot in Burbank (1973); his brother Richard even worked on the music for the film (alongside Joel Goldsmith). The movie had alien effects from David W. Allen, who did a variety of movie effects that spanned from Equinox (1970) to puppet/effects work in Young Sherlock Holmes (1985; he received an Academy Award nomination) to several Band productions prior to his death in 1999. Franne Schacht and Frank Ray Perilli wrote the movie, and the latter (also a writer on that Burbank film) actually did manage to write something better in that he was a co-writer with John Sayles on...Alligator (1980). 

Admittedly, I do check around to see how certain movies are rated when it comes to picking out ones with reputations in the tank. With this one...eh, I don't get it, the movie is merely just a hokey dud that is pretty strange to try and sit through for 80 minutes. One minute you'll see a bit featuring an old pro getting a quick buck in Wynn and then if you turn around for a bit you'll see "Character Actor Pro" Burkley playing a silly cop before you see the guy from The Godfather and a young (if there ever was a time to say that) Eddie Deezen. All of this goes with an amusing looking laser device, a not quite-so thought-out outline and effects that only work best when looking at aliens only. The fact that the film has a sequence where one is seen blasting a Star Wars sign is probably the biggest chuckle the film has to offer (intentionally or not), since I assumed the film was too cheap to afford a Close Encounters of the Third Kind sign. Milford had appeared in the theatre from a young age, later appearing in the original Broadway productions of Hair and The Rocky Horror Show. This was the first of his three most prominent film appearances in 1978, where he appeared in Corvette Summer and Bloodbrothers. Sadly, Milford suffered with heart defects throughout his life that saw him die at the age of 37 in 1988. The movie doesn't give him the plight one would expect from a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde knockoff to, well, actually drive drama to where it needs to go for meaningful tragedy (he may have a girl but sticking his hand up the silly weapon so he can use his other hand to fire it is clearly worth more because....). One just sees the routine of making him look like a ghoul and just sighs. The best part might as well being the pot-smoking cops played by Burkley and Cutler (folks might recognize the former as having voiced Principal Moss in King of the Hill), since they merely are shooting the breeze in a way that inspires chuckles more than quizzical stares; naturally, the film has to let one of them get lasered, so of course it has to be done when taking a bathroom break. Russo merely inspires a chuckle in trying to play the agent type for a film that barely has any cohesive structure when it comes to "pursuit", particularly when you have Wynn there to briefly exchange words about totally relevant stuff. Smith has nothing of presence to actually say, which is funny for a film where McDowall is given the bare minimum to do for what I'm sure what was a lark. The fact that Deezen is playing a nerd that actually gets in on bullying the lead is actually more amusing than the performance itself that came out before I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Grease. The movie has little to really offer beyond a few moments spent with the aliens (which naturally works out to set up a convenient ending), which seem more at home for the film than some of the actors. The movie ends just as weirdly as it starts, featuring convenience to wrap itself just as amusingly as it had set itself (aliens blasting people and stuff). The movie is dopey but a curiosity that I could at least see had something worth looking into beyond calling it one made on liquor and stupidity. In that regard, it might be worth a sit to gawk at the results.

Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.

Next up: For Thanksgiving, have a lump of coal with Uwe Boll and BloodRayne.