House of the Dead.

Review #2144: House of the Dead.

Cast: 

Jonathan Cherry (Rudolph "Rudy" Curien), Ona Grauer (Alicia), Clint Howard (Salish), Ellie Cornell (Casper), Tyron Leitso (Simon), Will Sanderson (Greg), Enuka Okuma (Karma), Kira Clavell (Liberty), Sonya Salomaa (Cynthia), Michael Eklund (Hugh), David Palffy (Castillo), and Jürgen Prochnow (Kirk) Directed by Uwe Boll (#1765 - In the Name of the King and #1924 - Alone in the Dark)

Review: 

Its funny to go backwards when watching an Uwe Boll for the third straight year. This is the film that got people to look upon Boll and say, "What the hell is this doing in so many theaters?" It is loosely based on the video game of the same name that had originally appeared in arcades from Sega in 1996. Apparently, plans for a film first came around in 1998 with the idea that Jesse Dylan would direct from a script that had the involvement of Dylan and Mark Verheiden (most known for scripts such as Timecop). The outline (as provided by a magazine of the time) apparently involved a small college town involving a zombie haven to go with deaths at a rave and "necro-warrior" nerds that rally to fight the walking dead. However, by the time production actually came around, here one is with Boll as director and a script of differing names: the screenplay was done by Dave Parker and Mark Altman (you may recognize him as the co-writer of Free Enterprise (1998), the rom-com involving fans of Star Trek) while the story was done by Dan Bates and Altman. 2002 saw Boll and his production company take charge with said script to make this film, which began production in Vancouver. This was the 8th feature film for Boll as a director, which had seen prior works of horror and dramas such as Heart of America (2002), which most people would probably associate with the DVD markets. A direct-to-video sequel came in 2005 that had Altman serve as writer for screenplay with one returning cast member but, well, no Boll as director (amusingly, Boll would do the sequels to his other video game films of the time). By that time, Boll was ready for his two-pronged 2005 experience of Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne. There apparently is a director's cut that adds in some dialogue and alternative takes to go with pop-ups and you know, I'm just not there for that, man. 

You know that label "so bad it's good"? Sometimes you just want to call that label a crock of crap, and I think you really need to find films like this to really test the theory that a film can be so bad that it could come back to enjoyably goofy to watch. But this is the third straight Boll film to leave me with more irritation than before I pressed play, and I find little redeeming factors beyond the fact that the movie is probably one of few video game adaptations to feature clips from the game that they are adapting (well, technically the film is meant to be a prequel of the first game, which means rather than having an agent name G as the lead, you have the rave stuff here). Someone apparently counted the amount of clips shown at 32! Even the B-movies from the 1960s had something worth following along with in their ambition, this movie just has the turn-table technique for 360-degree shots that make me want to roll my eyes in the same way. Blank slates being spooked by zombies has never felt so lifeless, but by God did Boll accomplish it here. You can predict every movement for 90 minutes but feel so tired when doing so that it doesn't even feel worth it to do so. I know it isn't the worst, because those who have seen Alone in the Dark know what true misery is, but it is up there in the turd mountain. Cherry looks like he would rather be stuck anywhere but here with such a thankless lead role that does him no favors. What's the point of setting up a thing about students looking for a rave if the characters are too damn boring anyway? Even the one shot of nudity just seems to be "okay, next". I swear, if you throw a dart board at a bunch of names of cheapie films, you could land on one with Clint Howard involved in some way with pretty good odds (he also happened to appear in Boll's two previous films). He doesn't exactly rein in a good performance, but I'm sure the checks cleared all the same regardless. Cornell and Prochnow would've been a more interesting pair to really focus on when it comes to scoundrels and people who shoot guns, and yet...you get the idea. If you can remember a single thing about the "villain" in Palffy, you deserve a medal, because the whole thing about "immortality serums" and hordes of zombies under his control is handled with about as much grace as a dirt road with broken glass all over. As a whole, it is a Uwe Boll movie with little to show for its efforts, as it is the kind of thing that looks and feels way cheaper than $12 million. How could anyone approve of this? Well, 20 years have gone by and I certainly can't say that people are going to look upon this film as a lost classic, they just will see it as bland trash to throw onto the pile.

Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.

Tomorrow: God help us, Wired. 

Beverly Hills Cop II.

Review #1842: Beverly Hills Cop II.

Cast: 

Eddie Murphy (Detective Axel Foley), Judge Reinhold (Detective Billy Rosewood), Jürgen Prochnow (Maxwell Dent), John Ashton (Detective John Taggart), Ronny Cox (Captain Andrew Bogomil), Brigitte Nielsen (Karla Fry), Allen Garfield (Chief Harold Lutz), Brian O'Connor (Detective Biddle), Dean Stockwell (Charles Cain), Gil Hill (Inspector Douglas Todd), Gilbert Gottfried (Sidney Bernstein), Paul Reiser (Detective Jeffrey Friedman), Paul Guilfoyle (Nikos Thomopolis), Robert Ridgely (Mayor Ted Egan), and Alice Adair (Jan Bogomil) Directed by Tony Scott (#029 - Top Gun, #253 - Unstoppable, #357 - The Last Boy Scout, #1632 - True Romance)

Review: 

Admittedly, it isn't much of a surprise that this film came on the heels of a successful feature, one that  celebrates its 35th anniversary of release. Beverly Hills Cop (1984), based on a script by Danilo Bach and Daniel Petrie Jr with direction by Martin Brest, was the right movie at the right time to bring its main star (Eddie Murphy rather than Sylvester Stallone, who is referenced from time to time in this movie) to widespread popularity, one that was the biggest blockbuster (and biggest overall hit) of its year. As such, the sequel features the same producers in Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer along with most of the regulars back to star; the movie was done rather than the idea of doing a television series, which is what Paramount Pictures wanted to do (Murphy said no to the idea). Of course, the writers are different, as Larry Ferguson and Warren Skaaren wrote the screenplay while Robert D. Wachs and Eddie Murphy did the story. For what it's worth, Murphy said a few years later that it was a "half-assed movie." Tony Scott, who had made a serviceable hit for Bruckheimer with Top Gun (1986), was brought in to direct the movie, which was his third ever feature as director (with his older brother Ridley, they had founded a company together in 1968 that honed directors like him and Alan Parker in making commercials).

At least "Shakedown" is a good song to start with (Bob Seger is underrated)? Honestly, it is just okay. It doesn't do well in terms of generating amusement, but Scott does well enough with staging the action and general charm of Murphy and friends to make a relatively decent experience. One gets to see Murphy paired with Reinhold and Ashton while others nearly fall by the wayside, whether that means Prochnow or with Cox. It glides around for103-minute with some of the same beats from the original while trying to not muddle the machinations of the plot, which goes from "fish out of water breaking into a crime ring by a businessman" to "not fish out of water breaking into a crime ring by a businessman" (both involving someone close to him being shot in Beverly Hills), with "alphabet crimes" being the name of the game here. Scott stated this film as a cross between Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hrs (1982), but it inadvertently serves as a precursor to Murphy doing second-tier work in later years such as Another 48 Hrs (1990), although at least this film doesn't strain itself too hard to explain its plot beyond what it needs to. Murphy at least makes the effort in driving the movie along with his general charm that maneuvers his way through the action/comedy beats with staid patience rather than complete "paycheck mode". Additionally, Reinhold and Ashton make for a good trio to follow along with in budding engagement, where one likes to see them around making good beats for timing with contrast between calm and hard-lined personality. Prochnow and Nielsen are moderately around the adversarial level that the first film had in general "okay" quality that can't exactly stand out too well from Murphy besides cardboard threats of inevitability (Stockwell being used as a front man rather than for actual moments of ooze is particularly vexing, I don't care how many movies Prochnow has done, you cannot tell me Stockwell isn't up to his par). Besides, Garfield is the hard-lined foil to remember for short bits anyway. There are a select number of small appearances with recognizable faces (established or not), with some of those working out fine like with Gottfried and his momentary bumbling (also, Chris Rock makes his first film appearance) while others...do not (no one, and I mean no one, needs a sequence at the Playboy Mansion). As a whole, the movie is glossier and perhaps less heightened than the original, one with all the right (cliche) moves that will please just the folks who are fine with what they have seen before, serving as a pinnacle of average. There is nothing great or terrible with it, which seems more of a description of fast-food products more than anything. With that in mind, this is one of those "take it or leave it" movies, where Murphy and company carry it far enough over the finish line to make the experience mostly worth it. In a sea of Murphy movies, being in the middle of the pack is not a bad thing to consider.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Beerfest.

Review #1122: Beerfest.

Cast: 
Jay Chandrasekhar (Barry Badrinath), Kevin Heffernan (Phil "Landfill" Krundle / Gil "Landfill" Krundle), Steve Lemme (Steve "Fink" Finkelstein), Paul Soter (Jan Wolfhouse), Erik Stolhanske (Todd Wolfhouse / Young Baron Ludwig), Nat Faxon (Rolf), Will Forte (Otto), Ralf Möller (Hammacher), Mo'Nique (Cherry), Eric Christian Olsen (Gunther), Jürgen Prochnow (Baron Wolfgang von Wolfhausen), Cloris Leachman (Great Gam Gam Wolfhouse), Donald Sutherland (Johann von Wolfhaus), Blanchard Ryan (Krista Krundle), and Gunter Schlierkamp (Schlemmer) Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (#1121 - Super Troopers)

Review: 
Beerfest is the fourth film from Broken Lizard, released two years after Club Dread (2004), with the inspiration for this movie being a chugging contest at a beer garden in Australia that the group had. Admittedly, this is a film that does have the standards of a mediocre sports movie, just piled with a bunch of gags throughout an 110 minute run-time. The main five do manage to create a fair bit of laughs, for the most part. Soter and Stolhanske serve as the leads for the bare story that accompanies the film, each doing okay with what's given. Chandrasekhar carries this character of talented pathetic nature with competence. Heffernan is fairly entertaining at times. Lemme does okay, although some of the gags with him prove a bit too obvious. Leachman provides some warmth for brief but welcome times. The other members of the cast have their moments of amusement, although nothing too particularly greatly funny. The adversaries (highlighted by Forte) do prove serviceable, silly in their toughness that can be appreciated. For me, I felt that while the first third worked fine with its setups, the other parts come off a bit sluggish, with the pacing not working particularly well with what probably could've been a shorter experience. By the time it gets to the climax with its competition, it's more of a stagger than a sprint. The competition is fine, having a fair amount of amusement (and things you'd expect) that make it fairly worth it, I suppose, and it ends neatly enough without being too forced. Thinking back to Super Troopers (which was seven minutes shorter) reminded me that while it wasn't always a consistent film to go with, it seemed to gel better with its gags and pace that seemed a bit less tiring overall. For people looking for something wild and silly, this may prove up your alley well enough, particularly if you are in the right flavor/mood for something like this. For me, I thought it was an okay venture, but it isn't consistent enough to really think of it as a clearheaded winner.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.