Suitable Flesh.

Review #2470: Suitable Flesh.

Cast: 

Heather Graham (Dr. Elizabeth Derby), Judah Lewis (Asa Waite), Bruce Davison (Ephraim Waite), Johnathon Schaech (Edward Derby), Barbara Crampton (Dr. Daniella Upton), Graham Skipper (Pathologist), Brett Newton (Professor Fisk), Chris McKenna (Crawley), J. D. Evermore (Detective Ledger), and Ann Mahoney (Susan) Directed by Joe Lynch (#2469 - Mayhem)

Review:

"I think part of it stems from I grew up watching a lot of horror movies -- and again, this is just my kind of cinematic fetish -- I like to be affected by watching something. I don't like to just complacently let something wash over me, whether it's watching Airplane! or Top Secret where you can't help but laugh at the absurdity of everything that's happening on screen, to A Serbian Film, where you can't help but go [cringes] "Ohhhh, ugh, my god." There's something about the kind of films I grew up watching and still watch today that push the limits because I like to be provoked. I like to see where that line is as a viewer and go "Yeah, go ahead, push it over." I want to be challenged. I like cinema that challenges me."

You might remember that Dennis Paoli wrote a handful of films with Stuart Gordon to varying success. Paoli had been friends with Stuart Gordon since high school with a shared interest in films and reading. Naturally this became a fit for Gordon's Re-Animator (1985), which was based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Paoli served as a co-writer on From Beyond (1986), another loose adaptation of Lovecraft. Paoli worked on a handful of scripts for movies in the years that followed, such as The Pit and the Pendulum (1991), Body Snatchers (1993) and Dagon (2001). Gordon and Paoli had planned to work together on an adaptation of Lovecraft's The Thing on the Doorstep, but it never got all the way off the ground before Gordon died in 2020. The resulting remembrances of Gordon led to Paoli and Barbara Crampton reconnecting and talking about scripts, as she was now a producer. He brought it over to Crampton, who in turned showed it to Lynch. Lynch had an interesting idea that intrigued Paoli and others: gender-swapping the leads. The film had a limited release in 2023 before getting onto the video/streaming circuit.

Admittedly, I do sometimes check the rating of a film by other folks around the Internet to get a gauge on how people view something because, well, it never hurts to check. For whatever reason, this is apparently one of those "love it or hate it" type of flick, and I guess the viewpoint doesn't help matters, since Lynch wanted to make a movie where the lead character visualizes the movie as if it was a "late night 10 o'clock erotic thriller from the '80s or '90s". If you go in thinking the movie will just be a Gordon pastiche, well, you might not get all you want, particularly with the effects, but I don't really see a problem with that here. This is a body-swapping movie that wants to ask what all the fuss is about in feeling around new things that, proudly or not, would be fit for the "Skinemax" comparison...or an offbeat Freaky Friday with a few camera spins. Honestly, I dug the movie, mostly because there is something to have fun with in the mayhem of body politics with a demon that likes to jump around for the sake of trying new things (and also smoke) at the expense of people's lives. In that sense, Graham and Lewis have a bit of a challenge in making the swap game interesting beyond just doing the "how to prove one isn't who they are" thing. Each approach it in different ways, naturally (a tiny bit of nudity comes from seeing Graham and maybe a tiny bit of kinky nature). A good chunk of it could be considered a "midlife crisis" when it comes to Graham's character, as if writing books and having to hear people prattle on in therapy while being married just can't compare to maybe, just maybe, having a bit on the side. Graham makes this trouble work, I can believe that one could be tempted (and then, well, horrified) by a new presence among the doldrums of life. When it comes to the scenes of swapping, she makes it quite charming to actually see engage with the new self (yes, the demon craves flesh and doesn't really care who it is, which I guess makes it a greedy bastard more than just bisexual). In the torment of what is and what isn't quite there in the body, Lewis makes a worthy performer to display some of the charm and some of the strangeness in trying to adapt around, mainly because the chemistry between him and Graham is more the fact that he is just something new rather than because he's God's gift to talking to women. Admittedly, it is nice to see a few moments with Davison commit to the bit of playing a hungry demon needing a nibble for a time, and Crampton makes a capable presence of going with the growing absurdity of events without being swept away by it. Some might think it a bit hokey with its body swapping and maybe not nearly as gooey as it could be, but I had a fun time with the movie, mostly because I thought it was a pretty amusing movie in seeing the perils of basically a midlife crisis explode in your face. I liked its sleazy nature, right down to its ending and would say that even if it isn't for everybody, it is nice to have a movie as weird as this come around every now and then.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

And so ends the 7th rendition of Halloween: The Week After. Nine reviews over the course of those seven days went mostly without a hitch. The horror season will be a fun one in 2026 with all of the runner-ups we had in October/November. We'll see how the rest of the month goes and beyond. 

Some of the movies we missed in the 38 days of horror: 

The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963), Frankenstein Unbound, Nightmares, Inn of the Damned, The Legacy (1978), The Guardian, Daughters of Darkness, The Uncanny, Torture Garden, The Company of Wolves, A Taste of Blood, Scream Blacula Scream, Monkey Shines, Basket Case, Full Circle (1977), Nightbreed, Innocent Blood, What Lies Beneath, He Knows You're Alone, Schlock (1973), Asylum (1972), The Monster Squad, People Toys, The Brood, The Descent Part 2, Messiah of Evil, The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)

Quartermass 2, Lust for a Vampire (1971), Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter, Paranormal Activity, Ring 0, The Funhouse, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Evil Dead (2013), Child's Play 3, Critters, Ginger Snaps, Possession (1981), Repulsion, The Omen II, One Missed Call, Van Helsing, Toxic Avenger II, The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Insidious II, Scream 2, Phantasm II, Hellraiser II, Ravenous, and Drag Me to Hell.

Be ready for Halloween: The Week After - Crazy Eights in 2026.

The Lords of Salem.

Review #2311: The Lords of Salem.

Cast: 

Sheri Moon Zombie (Heidi LaRoc / Adelaide Hawthorne), Bruce Davison (Francis Matthias), Jeff Daniel Phillips (Herman "Whitey" Salvador), Judy Geeson (Lacy Doyle), Meg Foster (Margaret Morgan), Patricia Quinn (Megan), Dee Wallace (Sonny), Ken Foree (Herman "Munster" Jackson), María Conchita Alonso (Alice Matthias), Andrew Prine (Reverend Jonathan Hawthorne), Richard Fancy (A.J. Kennedy), Camille Keaton (Doris Von Fux), Bonita Friedericy (Abigail Hennessey), and Nancy Linehan Charles (Clovis Hales) Written and Directed by Rob Zombie (#743 - Halloween (2007), #1590 - House of 1000 Corpses, #1751 - Halloween II (2009), #1756 - The Devil's Rejects, #1920 - 3 from Hell, #2090 - The Munsters)

Review: 

"50% of you will think this is the greatest thing ever, and 50% will hate it...I think I wanted to let everyone there know that it's OK to feel that way about a film like Lords. It's meant to make you unsure about what you just saw. That's the way the things that I like are—they're not for everybody. People have this delusion that everything has to be for everybody at all times. Every album must be liked by everybody, and every TV show must be liked by everybody, and every movie must be liked by everybody. Everything then becomes bland."

Those with a familiarity with history involving witches or Salem might know that people accused of being witches were not actually burned at the stake. In fact, of the hundreds accused of doing witchcraft in 1692-1693, the thirty that were found guilty suffered the hands of hanging or for the small few, torture (one was pressed until they succumbed to their wounds...and was an 81-year-old man) or death by filthy prisons. Naturally, there have been dozens of books and films that have used the trials as a key topic, whether that involves comedy such as I Married a Witch (1942) or allegories such as The Crucible (play or film). But I suppose it makes sense that one would go and make a film that plays around with the idea that yes, witches really could just be as real as you or me through the old tricks. It was reported in 2010 that Zombie, fresh off the debacle of Halloween II (2009) would get around to writing and directing this film while on his concert tour circuit for shooting in 2011. He apparently had came up with the premise a few years beforehand, but it eventually was tinkered with by Zombie in order to make a "strange, dreamlike movie" (as noted in interviews here, he took inspiration more so from European trials of witches than Salem, which he was misinformed about). He did the film in collaboration with Haunted Movies (so basically, Blumhouse), which at the time had done Insidious and The Bay, particularly because he had total control over the script and casting for a fairly low budget movie. The next Zombie production would come across with 31 (2016), which would go through crowdfunding for certain financing.

I sometimes wonder if I give Zombie a bit too much slack as a filmmaker for all of the fairly average stuff he does. What we have here is a slow burn movie that shows fascination with what Zombie finds interesting about both witchcraft and in "Satanic Panic" that is grim and unforgiving. It may be disjointed; it may not be all that one might think when it comes to the previous Zombie films in terms of stark strangeness in the unfinished cycle of violence but "mixed bag" seems aptly appropriate to try out once if you know what you are getting into. Some might find it basically cribbing from Rosemary's Baby (1968), but given how "fine" that movie was, sometimes you really can just crib from fine movies as long as you don't insult my patience with attempts at simplicity. As before, S.Zombie headlines a R.Zombie film. This time around, there is a passive nature to a character with such a strange and stunted job (it's a radio gig where they hang out about the same level as a couple of inebriated folks) before one eventually sees the logical conclusion of a downward withdrawn spiral. She handles the affair with subdued grace that is probably her most compelling performance for the films I've seen of her. Geeson, Wallace, Quinn play along in weird neighborly charm that is fun to see play out from scene to scene that has fun with self-help in the name of a certain kind of worship. Interestingly, Davison had previously been featured in The Crucible (1996); he was cast when Bruce Dern dropped out of this film due to scheduling conflicts. His curiosity (which went from being a shill for himself to actual curiosity) in the face of impending dread is entertaining to see play out, needless to say. Rounding out the cast is folks such as an unnerving Quinn along with understated presences in Phillips and Foree, who work out fine. The movie has some interesting imagery eventually play out through its trek of dread (such as strange visions or priests) that at least looks like the kind of movie Zombie wanted to just go out and do in having cruelty and uncertainty (for the audience) be the point. As a whole, it might not play well for everyone, but there is promise shown by Zombie in terms of odd duck dread that has a worthy enough cast to carry the waters for a cruel experience that might just work for those that know where to go with a director interested in making a movie to leave you unsure of what you just saw. I ended up going with it enough to say it is fine for one patient viewing, which is more than enough when trying to branch out for horror movies down the road.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

Next up: We close out our sixth week after Halloween with John Carpenter's The Fog.

Willard (1971).

Review #1002: Willard.

Cast: 
Bruce Davison (Willard Stiles), Sondra Locke (Joan), Elsa Lanchester (Henrietta Stiles), Ernest Borgnine (Al Martin), Michael Dante (Brandt), and J. Pat O'Malley (Farley) Directed by Daniel Mann (#514 - Our Man Flint)

Review: 
When it comes to horror films, Willard is certainly a interestingly strange one. I've done films with killer animals before, such as #462 - Kingdom of the Spiders (1977), #480 - Jaws (1975), #823 - Zaat (1971), but here's one with killer rats...although they don't exactly do too much killing. Whether that is actually a positive or a negative is up to you, but I found this to be such an average movie (based off a short novel named Ratman's Notebooks (1969) by Stephen Gilbert) that it really didn't matter all too much. The real horror seems to be the human characters and how they act to each other, which actually makes me laugh a bit, mostly because you're supposed to feel for this main character (who just happens to like rats), but I found him to be occasionally annoying (the same could sometimes be said for Lanchester's character, although she is fine). Davison does a decent job with the material he is given with, although I can't really find myself caring too much (this can apply to Locke's character as well). Somehow, Borgnine is my favorite from this film, probably because his maverick demeanor is somewhat amusing. If you are wondering how the special effects are...it's about what you'd expect with rats tearing someone apart. I don't particularly care for rats myself, but I'm not exactly afraid of them. The length of 95 minutes is fairly tolerable, although one has to slog through a first half that sometimes can feel slow, though its second half is at least somewhat serviceable. The climax of the film is likely the best part of the film, for better or for worse, but I can't really convince myself that this movie is anything but just an average b-movie. That's not to say that I am not a fan of what the film was going for (or that I don't like b-movies), but I just can't find myself saying that is really any better than a film like Kingdom of the Spiders. As a whole, this is a mediocre film that inspires a few more laughs than frights/thrills, but it is a somewhat serviceable film for people in the right state of mind.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Spies Like Us.

Review #513: Spies Like Us.

Cast
Chevy Chase (Emmett Fitz-Hume), Dan Aykroyd (Austin Millbarge), Steve Forrest (General Sline), Donna Dixon (Karen Boyer), Bruce Davison (Ruby), Bernie Casey (Colonel Rhombus), William Prince (Keyes), Tom Hatten (General Miegs), Frank Oz (Test Monitor), and Charles McKeown (Jerry Hadley) Directed by John Landis (#328 - Trading Places, #410 - Coming to America)

Review
Meant as a homage to the Road to... film series (that starred Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, who even makes a cameo), Chase and Aykroyd are paired up for the first time and they do okay, they certainly pair up well together, I suppose. The film around them...doesn't. It's a mediocre story with barely funny jokes that amount to a few laughs. Dixon does okay, and the rest of the cast is okay (Frank Oz being the more memorable for me even if he has only one scene), but the jokes are mediocre and why there are a few cameos along the way (Such as B. B. King, Ray Harryhausen and Terry Gilliam), the film still can't get past the mediocrity line, and it certainly pales in comparison to Trading Places or even Coming to America. The film is okay and while it may miss more then it hits, it at least tries, so I guess that makes sense.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: X-Men.

Review #008: X-Men.

Cast
Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), Halle Berry (Ororo Monroe/Storm), Patrick Stewart (Xavier/Professor), Ian McKellen (Magento), Anna Paquin (Marie/Rouge), Famke Janssen (Jean Gray), Bruce Davison (Senator Robert Kelly), James Marsden (Scott Summers/Cyclops), Rebecca Romijn (Mystique), Ray Park (Toad) and Tyler Mane (Sabretooth) Directed by Bryan Singer (#010 - X2)

Review
This film is a dramatic film with visuals of coolness that are a good adaption of the comic (With a clever reference to the costumes of the comic) The movie has good acting, especially from Jackman, Stewart, McKellan, and Berry. The action is allright, with the film not having an overload of action to make a film that while not being the most perfect movie, is still an useful film adapation that would make room for the sequels (Review #010, #012, #042)

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.