Review #2596: Final Destination 3.
Cast:
Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Wendy Christensen), Ryan Merriman (Kevin Fischer), Kris Lemche (Ian McKinley), Alexz Johnson (Erin Ulmer), Sam Easton (Frankie Cheeks), Jesse Moss (Jason Wise), Gina Holden (Carrie Dreyer), Texas Battle (Lewis Romero), Chelan Simmons (Ashley Freund), Crystal Lowe (Ashlyn Halperin), with Amanda Crew (Julie Christensen), and Tony Todd (voice of the Devil / subway train conductor) Directed by James Wong (#1749 - Final Destination)
Review:
I suppose you could say this is where my expectations for the Final Destination franchise are firmly established in the position of "not hoping for really much of anything" department. As much as one really tries to avoid the judgement of "don't trash a movie for not doing the premise you wanted in your head", I really maintain that Final Destination probably could've really served with going with a nutjob for a lead that simply believes too much in the power of "saving people with visions*" (of course that makes for one idea, not a franchise, but horror franchises once came out of "what if a leprechaun killed people?"). The second movie almost had an idea with a survivor who'd rather be in the loony bin. Instead, here's a bunch of movies that go along the same path of one guy (or girl) trying to convince people to be careful of their lives because of how death is a force that just doesn't like being cheated. Or something, because even if you go through the climax with your head still on straight, you might just get cooked by a twist ending. Glen Morgan and James Wong, who had done rewrites to the original draft by Jeffrey Reddick (you might remember that he later regretted not having a physical antagonist for the franchise) for what became the first film back in 2000, returned to write the third film together, which they envisioned as a standalone movie that didn't need to deal with "returning" characters. Wong (fresh off the interesting reception of The One [2001]) served as director, his third as a director (he subsequently directed one more movie with Dragonball Evolution in 2009). It ended up being the biggest hit of the series at the time, with a follow-up obviously being wanted by New Line Cinema, which came with David R. Ellis directing The Final Destination in 2009.
Well, it's the same mediocre movie three times in a row, but at least this one sounds like it wants to have a bit more time chuckling at the absurdity of trying to help people out who really think you sound like a nut in saying "hey remember that thing we survived a few months ago, yeah, well, now you're targeted for death". At least there's an attempt to draw at something really frightening for having no real control...in a roller-coaster. In fairness, I've been at an amusement park exactly once in the past five years, and the one ride that spooked me the most was one where you slowly but surely swing and hang upside down for a moment in time. So yes, you get the buildup to the eventual disaster on the roller-coaster (as portrayed through a vision just like the plane crash from the first one and the car accident in the second one) before getting to the nitty gritty of how you can make 93 minutes seem pretty routine. Sure, Winstead leads the way with a bit of worried charm in trying to make sense of the frenzy that comes in random deaths such as tanning booths* that happen to look like the photos taken of people before they *didn't* stay on the doomed roller-coaster ride. At least her path starts with the road of grief (namely because this is one where they actually lost someone dear to them) before getting tangled in the mumbo-jumbo, complete with brushing off the initial "hey, maybe Death is doing something" spiel, which gave me a chuckle, as if the series yearned to be self-aware in the only one of the first five movies without the physical presence of Tony Todd (who this time is utilized for voices connected to impending disaster). The only other interesting idea is a grief-stricken character (evolving from goth boyfriend with lame quips, go figure) that actually has a bit of umbrage with our leads because hey, what's life for if the person you love couldn't hack their way out of Death getting back at them with a nailgun? The second one established "new life" being a loophole and "no you can't kill yourself, it's not your turn", for a second I thought we would see attempted murder to try and close the loop. The gore is about on par with the others in heightened absurdity (death by burns, heads going splat and other various ways to go). I suppose the ending wanted to top the other two in further mayhem with its conceit about "is it really over?", but it basically went in one ear and out the other as the final gasp of desperation to a checked-out viewer who has lowered the bar and gotten the bare minimum. For a series filled with missteps, you know what you're getting with the third movie, warts and all.
Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.
*No really, think about it. Imagine if you got lucky one time in being the big hero and saving people's lives, I think there's two ways that could really go for horror: you either go mad with basically thinking you cheated God and therefore feel that these people owe you...or maybe you decide that you did cheat Death and therefore feel bound to finish the job (and you can even put up the Rube Goldberg bullshit as "accidents" so nobody knows).
*Why the fuck would you need to be tanner anyway? Is the sun really not enough for you? The reasoning probably makes about as much sense as willingly drinking hard liquor.
