Freaked.

Review #2573: Freaked.

Cast: 

Alex Winter (Ricky Coogin), Michael Stoyanov (Ernie), Megan Ward (Julie), Randy Quaid (Elijah C. Skuggs), William Sadler (Dick Brian), Alex Zuckerman (Stuey Gluck), Keanu Reeves (Ortiz "The Dog Boy"), Mr. T (The Bearded Lady), Brooke Shields (Skye Daley), Bobcat Goldthwait ("Sockhead"/Sock (Tourist), Derek McGrath ("Worm"/Oxford Professor), Jeff Kahn ("Nosey"), John Hawkes ("Cowboy"), Lee Arenberg ("The Human Flame"), Patti Tippo (Rosie "The Pinhead"), Tim Burns ("Frogman"), Ray Baker (Bill Blazer), Jaime Cardriche ("Toad"), Tom Stern (Milkman), with Jon M. Chu (Giant Stuey Monster), and Michael Gilden & Joseph S. Griffo ("Eye N. Eye") Directed by Alex Winter and Tom Stern.

Review: 

"I made Freaked, which as I said was very much a kind of protest to celebrity—I mean, it was absurdist, it wasn’t any kind of arch-political statement. It was fun. It was done in the spirit of the comedy that Tom and I were doing at the time. It was very much a statement about ‘80s-Hollywood and celebrity and youth culture celebrity." - Alex Winter

"Sure, it's a little more mainstream. But we're talking degrees here. It's still fairly gross by most people's standards – and a lot more clever than it was. Compared to most comedies, it's not at all mainstream." - Tom Stern

Is it picking low hanging fruit to go along with a movie that basically was just screwed over by its studio? Alex Winter and Tom Stern met at Tisch School of the Arts at New York University in the 1980s that shared interests in "underground comix, punk rock, Monty Python, etc." They soon collaborated on a few short films together such as Squeal of Death, Bar-B-Que Movie (which featured the rock band Butthole Surfers*) and a few music videos. Alongside Tim Burns (who had met Stern when working on The Jim Henson Hour), they created the sketch comedy show The Idiot Box (aired in 1991), which ran for six episodes on MTV (back when it actually ran music videos). They ended the show to take a deal with 20th Century Fox for what became this film. At the time, Winter believed that cynical comedy was on the rise in part because of the outlook of the United States* and thought, well, what's more cynical than laughing at the misfortune of the main character? Of course, he also claimed that the original intent was to make the "ultimate cult film" to overly exaggerate before Fox came in and wanted rewrites (Joe Roth in particular was name-dropped for being with them on making a movie together), so there's that. Burns gave the film a re-write (evidently, one of the moments excised involved a guitar player playing with a living person's spinal cord). Studio turnover led to Roth departing Fox and replaced by someone who did not care for the film (shot for over $12 million that actually had merchandise released for it such as a figure line). Bad test screenings (one screening apparently had a bunch of numbskulls believing it was going to be like Bill & Ted) led to a theater release on October 3...to two screens (there exists a few different editions, with the longest being 86 minutes and the US version went 80). Winter has made a handful of features and documentaries (ranging from Fever [1999] to Zappa [2020] to Adulthood [2025]) while Stern has gone off on his own filmmaking with stuff such as co-writing An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), a handful of TV episodes and documentaries. After receiving runs on home media (2005, 2013), it got a full restoration (and release) from Winter in 2025.

It's one thing to put Reeves in a dog suit, it's another thing to have Mr. T. play a bearded lady. Among the folks responsible for the effects included Tony Gardner, Steve Johnson, and Screaming Mad George. If they couldn't get their dream of Beach Blanket Bingo meeting The Evil Dead", at least there's a gooey and goofy time to have here with this movie, which has plenty of glee over its Freekz (hey, the working title was "Hideous Mutant Freekz"), which are wonderful to gawk at alongside to have amusement over how they look when faced with crowds of humans who aren't really that much different in temperament, honestly. If Freaks (1932) wanted to show the actual side of sideshow performers* and the horrors that come in trying to ignore them as people, Freaked yearns to just go off the wall with its own type of performers that we celebrate for all that they do in mayhem: cow-men, toads with big tongues, and to top it all, a giant mutated nerd. It's the kind of movie fit for those who had fun with, say, Nothing But Trouble (1991). As star and co-director, Winter was wrapped with plenty of makeup for twelve hours (complete with remote control work), and, well, handling duties that resulted in him barely being able to sleep for a few months. As such, he makes for a good presence in carrying things in scuzzball grossness (as per the goal), one who hams it up with no hesitation. Winter, Stoyanov, and Ward make for a suitable group of goofs to get turned into freaks (one with half of a good face and the other two being pooled together) as equal opportunity jerks. The supporting cast has a handful of gags and charms, ranging from the most obvious person to play a sock puppet, a stuffy worm, and a delightfully dry Mr. T exploring the helpful side of femininity. The movie drifts in and out with just having fun in effects and slinging any gag possible that makes for a pretty good time to let play out. In a sea of over-the-top people that aspire to be a spokesman for toxic waste (hey, is it any less degenerate than people who go for gambling sites in 2026*?) or live with a group of folks ranging from worms to mutated hammers, aiming for any type of joke (high and low) is the kind of movie fit for the oddball in all of us.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Song of the day!

Next: To hell with it, Speed Racer.

*Yes, the movie had its own fan website - Freekland: Official Homepage of Alex Winter, Tom Stern and Tim Burns

*Butthole Surfers? Good lord, what a crappy name for a band. What's next, Viet Cong? 

*At least 1993 had Bill Clinton. 

*DraftKings and any other site that goes all in for gambling should die a horrible death. Gambling should've been relegated to the seedy basement and never given any type of prominence. At least alcohol has an argument for being a "social" drink (hey, I think it's a piece of crap, but still), what the hell does gambling do for anything?

*I wondered, hey, would some bastard try to argue that Freaks (1932) isn't really a horror movie? Low and behold, some people do in fact try to argue that - sad! 

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Review #2486: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Cast: 

June Foray (the voice of Rocky / animated Natasha Fatale / Narrator's Mother), Keith Scott (the voice of Bullwinkle / the Narrator, animated Fearless Leader / animated Boris Badenov / RBTV Announcer), Robert De Niro (Fearless Leader), Rene Russo (Natasha Fatale), Jason Alexander (Boris Badenov), Piper Perabo (Karen Sympathy; Julia McAnuff as young Karen), Randy Quaid (Cappy "Frank" von Trapment), Kel Mitchell (Martin), Kenan Thompson (Lewis), with David Alan Grier (Measures), Jon Polito (Schoentell), James Rebhorn (President Signoff), Carl Reiner (P.G. Biggershot), Jonathan Winters (Whoppa Chopper Pilot, Ohio Cop with Bullhorn, Old Jeb), Rod Biermann (Ole; Adam Miller as young Ole), Paget Brewster (Jenny Spy), and Janeane Garofalo (Minnie Mogul) Directed by Des McAnuff.

Review: 

Hey, ever hear of a modern adaptation of an old TV show? You might know from your parents (or grandparents, anyway) about aa show called The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends, which originally aired from 1959 to 1964 on ABC and later NBC. It was originally devised by Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, who previously collaborated on a program called Crusader Rabbit; Bill Scott was head writer and also part of the voices that made up the show that featured June Foray, Paul Frees and others. It was actually a variety show that consisted of such segments as, well, the serialized adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle and other segments such as "Dudley Do-Right" (which was adapted by Universal Pictures into its own film in 1999) "Peabody's Improbable History" (later adapted into an animated film in 2014), and "Fractured Fairy Tales". The film was made after many years of development that originally saw Danny DeVito and Meryl Streep for the roles of Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale; the sciept for the film was written by Kenneth Lonergan. He had been involved in the theater since the 1980s but had done a few film scripts, with his next one being, well, work on Gangs of New York (2002). As for its director in Des McAnuff, he has mostly done work for the stage beyond directing just this film and Cousin Bette (1998), although he co-produced The Iron Giant [1999] (go figure). Released in June of 2000 on a budget of $76 million, the film (produced in the wake of Universal's apparent attempts at trying to tap the old TV market such as Flipper [1996], McHale’s Navy [1997], Leave It to Beaver [1997], Dudley Do-Right) was a considerable financial failure for what either was a flop because it didn't hit for young audiences or didn't hit for "Baby boomer nostalgia" or something.

As someone who wasn't too familiar with the show, I actually kind of like this movie. Sure, it is pretty goofy, and sure, it probably is the ultimate hit-or-miss movie with its gags. But damn it, I like goofy stuff like this. Silly narrators, odd hijinks, a deluge of celebrity cameos for the sake of having them, some strange plot involving animated characters in the real world to go along with a totally-not prescient idea of mass-marketed slop.* The effects for our heroes were done by Industrial Light & Magic that had plenty of involved people trying to accomplish McAnuff's wish to have the characters interact with the space and people that looked simple enough (so, yes, having to deal with problems such as selective motion blurring - you can read more here). Foray and Scott make a quality duo to accompany the film in goofy and sly charm, mostly because they just happen to come off as, well, a worthwhile pair to listen to. Of course, a movie like this needs a human counterpart, which is where Perabo (cast after Monica Potter stepped out) comes in. She does relatively fine here, having a few good moments of actual timing (along with an accompanying joke about her "inner child", heh, get it?) mixed in with plenty of okay ones, mostly because even a mild-energy Quaid is still curious to view*.  It should be noted that De Niro was a co-producer on this film. He seems to have a bit more fun than Russo or Alexander in hammy nature that seems ripe for a goofy adventure, and I would say that is more than enough for a film that relies on ham-handed puns and zippy things. There are an array of bit appearances and one-joke cameos that is mostly highlighted by Winters being three one-bit parts that I'm sure will please a few people for 92 minutes, or perhaps it will make you wonder if would've been better as just an animated movie. But at any rate, the movie could be a decent experience for those who like silly jokes and goofy enthusiasm that may hit just enough to make one have enough chuckles to make one believe it was worth the curious trip.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

*I did have this movie on DVD when I was younger but I was the kind of idiot kid that liked to scratch DVDs on the front side and never actually saw the movie until now. Also: This 2000 article namedrops the wave of the past decade and can you imagine how weirder it got?: The Fugitive, Dennis the Menace, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Flintstones, The Mod Squad, The Avengers, Maverick, Casper, The Brady Bunch, Mission: Impossible, Wild Wild West, Charlie's Angels...

*Call me delusional, but the whole idea of having bad television put on screen sounds a bit like the current day debate over "slop". Sure, people in the film don't try and justify slop like people do try to justify the disgusting use of generative AI, but food for thought.

*Just don't ask him about elections or legal issues.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Review #1930: The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Cast: 

Eddie Murphy (Pluto Nash / Rex Carter), Randy Quaid (Bruno), Rosario Dawson (Dina Lake), Jay Mohr (Anthony Frankowski / Tony Francis), Peter Boyle (Rowland), Luis Guzmán (Felix Laranga), Joe Pantoliano (Mogan), James Rebhorn (Belcher), Pam Grier (Flura Nash), John Cleese (James), Burt Young (Gino), Lillo Brancato (Larry), and Victor Varnado (Kelp) Directed by Ron Underwood (#808 - City Slickers)

Review: 

"I knew we didn’t have the kind of wit and the fun that I would want...I felt that it was not really working fully...But it wasn't very obvious how to correct it." 

Poor Ron Underwood. He was an exchange student in what is now known as Sri Lanka for AFS Intercultural Programs, and it inspired him to become a filmmaker by what he saw there. He studied at the USC School of Cinematic Arts (after changing his mind from studying at Occidental College as a pre-med student). After doing short film and television projects, Tremors (1990) became his very first film as a director, and he also served as a co-writer. Underwood did four further films in the 1990s such as City Slickers (1991) and Mighty Joe Young (1998). When he was finishing work on the latter film, he received an offer to work on a script by Neil Cuthbert that had Eddie Murphy attached that dealt with a colony on the Moon. The Cuthbert script had been bouncing around Hollywood for years, first being brought as a project at Universal...in 1983. 1989 even saw an attempt to see at Universal with Peter Faiman (the director behind Crocodile Dundee) as director. Keep in mind, when Underwood was brought in, he joined in with the understanding that they had 7-9 months to work on the script before Murphy could join in to help with shooting. Underwood felt that there was an issue with the main core in the script, and yet it never came together. Murphy did not care for the script that was presented to him, nor the handful of scripts presented afterwards, and he seemingly wanted a film that was written for someone like Sylvester Stallone or Harrison Ford that would have him bring the comedy...which meant a straight draft. Underwood stuck with Castle Rock Entertainment because of the obligation he had to friends that worked with there despite the fact he had other offers while the film process "seemed to just be going and on"...the result was that he was on the production for four years.

The film was such a tremendous failure with audiences and critics, being one of the few $100 million movies to not even make ten percent of its budget back. Underwood would direct for television on a fairly regular basis in 2003 (one year after this film) while having just one film credit since that film: In the Mix (2005), although he at least seems happy by what he gets to direct. Even Eddie Murphy made light of the failure of the film, although if anyone is to be blamed for this film, it is him (Underwood, while being charitable about him being nice, thought Murphy wasn't feeling funny in production). The problem with the movie is that it isn't particularly funny, and it desires an actor with some sort of energy to it due to how the bland story is not particularly interesting as an adventure nor as a "mystery". It doesn't feel particularly like a science fiction worth gawking at, looking like the world's cheapest expensive film, never insipiring curiosity over the time or tech beyond demo levels. The only highlight might be Quaid, having a bald head while trying to play an old robot. Somehow, he proves the quirks that are just begging to be let out here, having the rare distinction of being funnier than the actual lead. Murphy has the "in it for the money" face, not inspiring anything for comedy or for adventure, and the fact that he has a double role as the villain doesn't do him any favors either. The only one to possibly pity would be Dawson, adrift in a film with no energy for her to tap into/absorb for fun. John Cleese being in this film in the shape of a hologram is the very definition of "phoned in", as if he was tricked into believing that he had to top Eric Idle in phoned in supporting performances (hey, speaking of Idle movies...next year?). Faking one out with a few seconds of Alec Baldwin is more amusing than the gags presented (such as Hilary Clinton being on a $100 bill or a Trump Realty sign), sadly. The less said about Pantoliano, Boyle, Guzman, and Mohr, the better. As a whole, what we have here is a movie that is not particularly funny, not particularly adventurous, and not particularly fun. It is a snooze fest for 95 minutes that only avoids being called one of the absolute worst after 20 years because there isn't even enough to remember in how bad it is. 

Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.

Last one: Valley of the Dolls.

The Long Riders.

Review #1625: The Long Riders.

Cast: 

David Carradine (Cole Younger), Keith Carradine (Jim Younger), Robert Carradine (Bob Younger), James Keach (Jesse James), Stacy Keach (Frank James), Dennis Quaid (Ed Miller), Randy Quaid (Clell Miller), James Whitmore Jr (Mr. Rixley), Kevin Brophy (John Younger), Harry Carey Jr (George Arthur), Christopher Guest (Charlie Ford, Nicholas Guest (Robert Ford), Shelby Leverington (Annie Ralston), Felice Orlandi (Mr. Reddick), and Pamela Reed (Belle Starr) Directed by Walter Hill (#1072 - 48 Hrs, #1091 - Last Man Standing, #1139 - Supernova)

Review: 

"I'd been dying to do a Western for years. I just like 'em. There's a kind of an idyllic quality that surrounds the shooting of them, it seems like a more fundamental film process, more to me what movies are about than clearing crowds off a city street."

The legend of outlaws has spanned a variety of media for over a century, and it is the intrigue of seeing the Old West and all the storytellers that can come from it that make it an interesting curiosity. Whether it is the ballad, or the dimestore novel, or the Western, there always seems to be an interesting idea waiting at the barrel for someone to make seem fresh. There had been various perspectives on the James legend, with one of the more recent films done before this one being The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid (1972), so it would only make sense for yet another adaptation of the James legend (of which there were at least fifteen prior to 1980), albeit with a twist - brothers playing brothers. The idea for the film came about after James and Stacy Keach had starred in a production on television together nine years prior, in which they had played the Wright brothers. James had the idea to play Jesse, while Stacy came up with financing as producer and financer for the play that James wrote. It was briefly staged in New Jersey and Off-Broadway, but they eventually decided to make it into a film for each of them to be involved, and they enlisted the help of Bill Bryden and Steven Phillip Smith to develop the screenplay (the Keaches would also serve as producer alongside Tim Zinnermann). Enlisting the Carradines came in the form of J.Keach approaching Robert Carradine during their time in the production of the TV film The Hatfields and the McCoys in 1974 about being involved with the film, and they soon approached David and Keith with the prospect of doing it, which they eventually agreed. The Quaids came after that, but finding the fourth group came after a bit of turnover, as the Bridges brothers (Jeff and Beau) could not do the film due to schedule conflicts, and it later fell to the Guests (incidentally, the Bottoms family of Joseph, Timothy, and Sam wanted to star as the Youngers). Interestingly enough, a Carradine had already been involved in an adaptation about the legend of Jesse James and Robert Ford, as the eldest Carradine in John (who had four of his sons become actors) had played the latter subject in two films with Jesse James (1939) and The Return of Frank James (1940). That particular film was noted by Walter Hill as the best film made about the Younger-James brothers in terms of character truth, even if the historical accuracy was low.

United Artists agreed to help produce the film if they found a suitable director. Walter Hill certainly fit the mold of a man wanting to tell a good story. The Long Beach native grew up with an interest in film from a young age, although he once thought of being a comic book illustrator before he went into writing and eventually directing in order to tell his own stories. He has described his films as "rather retro", with his genre films generally trying to capture a serious framework within action that take inspiration from Sam Peckinpah among others - after all, he had worked with the director with The Getaway (1972); the clearest influence seems to be The Wild Bunch (1969), particularly with its use of slow motion for certain sequences of violence. Most (but not all) of his films can be argued to have elements of the Western genre, since Hill has noted his liking of complexity with a foundation on simple stories (Hill has argued they are essentially Old Testament morality tales), and this is the fourth feature film that Hill directed. It is a pretty good effort, one that does well with trying to capture a mosaic of the time and landscape that came with folks in the Old West that happen to engage in moral choices involving robbery and murder. In other words, it isn't just a straight action Western, nor one that gives focus to any one individual, instead being just a balanced film with a midwestern feel that makes its 99 minutes count with usefulness. There have been adaptations of the James story since this film (most notably with The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford), but this film still stands for itself after four decades because of its capable charm, although it wasn't a big hit with audiences upon release (Keach has maintained that the film made a profit, although United Artists was likely thinking about the other Western they released that year that nearly sunk the studio - Heaven's Gate), making just a bit under double its $9 million budget.

When it comes to the first group of brothers, one can say that David proves the best in relative interest, as he is the most adept in charisma without having to strain for it. This seems most apparent during a sequence involving Reed and a new love interest, which naturally ends in a knife fight with a rope for them to chew on and duel. Keith and Robert do fine with a little less time to show, although the sequence with the Pinkertons and an unfortune cousin is a good one. The Keaches do well in their balance of laconic steel (mostly with J.Keach), one that doesn't aim for straight sympathy for the James brothers but instead lets them paint the picture for one to judge - their scene on horseback jumping through the window is likely the best image and moment from the film. The Quaids have a reserved amount of time on screen (most likely due to cutting from the studio), but they do well with being members of chaos (chained or not) that don't fall into the background, mostly with Randy. The Guests lurk right where they need to be in terms of calm sniveling, while Reed and Whitmore Jr fill out the edges in terms of allure and lingering authority that make for a off-kilter balance of a film, revisionist in its approach without seeming like a film relying just on a gimmick. It hits with a worthy punch in its look upon the landscape and the outlaws that became names to remember, no matter the efforts of authority like the Pinkertons or even the firing of a barrel to stop it. While it may not be Hill's best effort, it serves as an interesting start to a productive decade of work that packaged plenty of thrills within some of the confines that made the Western what it was without being chained to it exclusively, and it is a curiosity worth looking into today.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

The Ice Harvest.

Review #1616: The Ice Harvest.

Cast: 

John Cusack (Charlie Arglist), Billy Bob Thornton (Vic Cavanaugh), Connie Nielsen (Renata Crest), Randy Quaid (Bill Guerrard), Oliver Platt (Pete Van Heuten), Mike Starr (Roy Gelles), Ned Bellamy (Sidney), T.J. Jagodowski (Officer Tyler), and David Pasquesi (Councilman Williams) Directed by Harold Ramis (#138 - Bedazzled (2000), #208 - Caddyshack, #342 - Groundhog Day, and #804 - National Lampoon's Vacation)

Review: 

"This movie is about people who've lost any sense of meaning in their lives."

One wonders where the time goes when it comes to films that can be defined by one word: "should". But why don't we do a few pleasantries first, since this does fall somewhat into the yuletide spirit (a sort of alternative to the alternative of films set on Christmas Eve), and it can be said that there are some promising names involved. This was the tenth of eleven films directed by Harold Ramis, although it is one of four that he did not also write the script for, with writers Richard Russo (a fellow novelist in his own right) and Robert Benton responsible for the script (they had worked together previously on Twilight seven years prior, since Benton directed that film alongside adapting one of Russo's books into a film). They wrote the film as an adaptation of the novel of the same name by Scott Philips, which was written in 2000 as his first work (incidentally, the Wichita native had done a brief spell as a screenwriter), which he thought was unfilmable (he ended up liking the adaptation, so that is one relief). A book review from the New York Times had attracted Benton and Russo to doing a script, and Ramis eventually was brought in to do a film made with cheaper budgeting than usual for director and stars for Focus Features (who greenlighted it after six weeks for $14 million). There were a few differences made from novel to screen, such as the time (originally 1979) and the dynamic between Cusack and Platt's character (which went from brother-in-laws to friends who each were married to the same person).

So yes, there is that magic word that goes for this film. It should be better, honestly. Namely, it should be funnier, but if that option seems a bit locked out, then one should hope for a darker movie instead. This was the only film Ramis did that resembled a film noir, and it sure is a shame to see those results play out here. Simply put, it is a shaggy dog noir that seems to parade itself for 89 minutes with pacing equivalent to a fish in a tiny glass bowl. Dissapointment has never tasted so cold, particularly because one should know better when it comes to making an interesting experience with a cast like this. The performances are here and there, fleeting in those moments of actual, meaningful, useful, time to highlight. Cusack does fine in digging through the molasses, one who mixes smarm with dogged hope in the face of seedier folks around him. In other words, he comes off fine being the most likable one of the group. Thornton comes and goes with a lead heart towards scuzziness that seems to merit more interest, as if somehow he seems more interesting to see in the seen/unseen aspects of below-the-belt demeanor. Nielsen is okay, but one doesn't really seem grabbed by her as any sort of fatale presence, where one feels that they are instead waiting for the train to come in instead, as if vacancy is the one thing needed in a quasi-noir. Platt turns out to have the most presence in the film (obvious when playing a drunk), but while he is amusing in parts, one tunes him out gradually in the same way they might do if having to see an intoxicated fellow around them for nearly an hour. Of course there is Quaid, who in theory could have an interesting performance in booming presence....he doesn't show up until the last twenty minutes, and one wishes for something more from seeing him in one room and just that. Starr and Bellamy do fine in those small parts of amusement (with the former relegated to mostly voice duty, such as a bit when trapped in a box), so there is that for a positive, in the sense that mediocrity doesn't strike in every aspect of the movie. As a whole, it is an okay movie that should know better, one that seems vacant in either comic or dark aspirations, a movie that will come and go for 89 minutes with the bare minimum in shaggy dog ambition that is more bland than bleak to really be interesting to talk about beyond just the simple word of "should" to describe it. In other words, it should be more interesting, it should have a better pace, it should be anything else than it ultimately turns out to be, and it should be recommended for those who have an average streak with talented folks that should do better.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

Caddyshack II.

Review #1300: Caddyshack II.

Cast: 
Jackie Mason (Jack Hartounian), Robert Stack (Chandler Young), Randy Quaid (Peter Blunt), Dan Aykroyd (Captain Tom Everett), Chevy Chase (Ty Webb), Jessica Lundy (Kate Hartounian), Dyan Cannon (Elizabeth Pearce), Jonathan Silverman (Harry), Dina Merrill (Cynthia Young), Marsha Warfield (Royette Tyler), and Brian McNamara (Todd Young) Directed by Allan Arkush.

Review: 
This film is awful. Are you really that surprised? How could anyone think that this would be a good idea, particularly after eight years and only one returning co-star from before? Is the fault of this cinematic waste really all at the feet of its producer trio (Neil Canton, Peter Guber, Jon Peters)? Oh sure, Harold Ramis returns to serve as writer (co-writing with Peter Torokvei), but it is evident very early that this is the product of re-writes that have warped its original draft into something out of the Four Horsemen of the Movie Apocalypse: Terrible direction, listless acting, miserable atmosphere, and awful execution. One could almost be impressed with how dumb this proves to be, if they didn't burst into flames first. Going from an R rating from the previous film to a PG rating (when PG-13 already had been introduced as a rating) is the first sin one could identify for this film, oddly enough. It sure is hard to believe how Arkush found himself on such a strange film, having started his film career with Roger Corman at New World Pictures with films such as Hollywood Boulevard (1976) that eventually led him to mainstream studio stuff like Heartbeeps (1981). Since this film, he has primarily served as director for TV shows and telefilms. At least one can say Arkush has just one awful standout in a string of several things to list for a career, where probably no one could have done much better with. Predictably, this film proved to be a financial failure, making just half of its $20 million budget back (while the previous one had made roughly six times its $6 million budget).

When it comes to acting, the biggest ugly duckling in a sea of ugly ducklings is losing Rodney Dangerfield to studio disputes (which is why Ramis decided to reluctantly come back to write the script), since he might have made this at least seem palpable. In his place is Mason, who actually had received good notices on stage and television (including a Tony Award for his one-man show The World According to Me alongside an Emmy Award after the film's release). If it sounds like I am trying to give slack, it really is more me trying to resist asking the best way to describe his performance when it comes to jokes: In what world is Jackie Mason a replacement for Rodney Dangerfield? Flashy dress styles can't make up for sluggish attempts at humor (with PG trappings, remember), and the story revolving around him isn't any better. It sure is interesting to see Stack in a terrible comedy sequel (insert reference to him not being in Airplane II here), but his wooden deadpan delivery here doesn't quite work out here, since it doesn't register as many laughs as before, sadly. Quaid, playing a crazed lawyer that obviously exists in cartoon world where threatening people and giving them wedgies in public, manages to come off as aggressively unfunny, owing in part because this film doesn't have any real clue what to do with him. The less said about Aykroyd and his silly voice for this character, the better. Oddly enough, Chase returns (for which he later said he regretted doing), looking much like a bored cat when dealing with such lame gags, although he technically is the highlight, since he draws an occasional laugh. You know, I actually thought to try and count the amount of time that he is on screen. The total ended up being around fourteen minutes, with a good chunk of it being after an hour has already passed. I then thought, why not just count the minutes for Quaid and Aykroyd as well? Quaid and Aykroyd show up for about 8-9 minutes each. Honestly, any of these three leave more of a lasting impression than Lundy, Silverman, Merrill, or McNamara do as the young leads. That's not to say that the caddies present in the previous film were comedy magnets, but at least one could follow Michael O'Keefe and his pursuits (golf and ladies, namely) without being completely lost in the all-star cast chokedown that this film spews down the throat for 98 minutes. After all, you can see the parallels between the Dangerfield-Knight-O'Keefe-Murray pairing from before and the Mason-Stack-Silverman-Aykroyd "quartet" here, for which each can't quite live up to even the lowest of expectations. For one thing, they barely share that much time on screen as a group, and the golf game at the end feels so thin in actual depth (complete with "wacky" golf course designs). If you can't care about what goes on, you might as well just stare at the bathroom wall for ninety eight minutes instead.

For all that can be said about the film not being funny, a bunch can also be said about the fact that the golf aspects are tremendously terrible. The first film may have had a few weird swings from its main actors, but at least one could actually believe they were playing golf. It was based off the experiences that Harold Ramis and Brian Doyle-Murray (both co-writers of the first film) had as caddies when they were growing up, but this film seems to treat golf like it is some sort of wacky piece of puddy that can be manipulated to do any odd thing, with golf trajectories that seem more in like with a cartoon than anything, right down to giving the gopher more to "say". Even the plot aspects involving the club are boring, where motivations seem thrown out on a whim. There will be nobody who can give this film a defending, unless producers count as impartial I guess. Mercy is a quality one really shouldn't have for dumb movies like this, but I present the fact that it perfectly belongs in the pantheon of movies like Troll 2 and Rollerball (2002). There are no real reasons to ever watch this film, unless one prefers comedy torture from films instead of bad standup routines, or if they have a death wish of the cinematic kind.

Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.

Vegas Vacation.

Review #1083: Vegas Vacation.

Cast: 
Chevy Chase (Clark Griswold), Beverly D'Angelo (Ellen Griswold), Randy Quaid (Cousin Eddie), Ethan Embry (Russell "Rusty" Griswold), Marisol Nichols (Audrey Griswold), Miriam Flynn (Cousin Catherine), Shae D'Lyn (Cousin Vicki), Wayne Newton (Himself), Wallace Shawn (Marty the Blackjack dealer), Juliette Brewer (Cousin Ruby Sue), Sid Caesar (Old Guy), and Siegfried & Roy (Themselves) Directed by Stephen Kessler.

Review: 
I couldn't find any time in the review to make a Vegas sports joke/reference, given that they now have a hockey team (and a particularly good one this year), with the timing of this review to their appearance in the Conference Finals against the Winnipeg Jets (a team that I like and follow a bit more than the Golden Knights, although I appreciate both being in the final four) being a coincidence. In any case, enjoy the review and enjoy a good Conference Finals.

Remember the first three films? Although each had a varying quality to them, they managed to be fairly entertaining pieces of entertainment (at least for the first and third ones, in my view), with Chase and D'Angelo being key standouts, especially in National Lampoon's Vacation (#804). This time around, I can't say that is the case. If National Lampoon's European Vacation (#1060) could be cited by me as an average film, Vegas Vacation could be cited as an awful venture that produces the least amount of returns of the four films, which is made fairly obvious by the first half of the film. It is actually strange to see how long it took to make a fourth film that followed after National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (#771), being released eight years later, by which time Chase had already passed 50 and the two Griswold children are replaced again by actors who now look like they could almost be in college. This time around, the National Lampoon moniker has been removed, with the vacation destination being just one place (as evidenced by the title). It is the only Vacation film with a PG rating, as compared to the R rating for the first film and a PG-13 rating for the other two. The humor certainly feels sanitized in some part because of this decision to go for PG, although that doesn't mean that funny films can't come from things rated PG, it just means that this film isn't funny because of its attempts to reach across the aisle for audiences.

At any rate, it is obvious that this film doesn't have much motivation to go on beyond a bunch of weak gags and a few indulgent cameos that actually seem more interesting to watch than the actual film and its plot. When the parts with Wayne Newton and Siegfried & Roy are more interesting to watch than the scenes with the Griswolds, I think you have a big problem. It isn't so much that they don't have much chemistry with each other as a group, it's just that it feels more like a mediocre sitcom kind of family than anything actually really particularly funny, dwelling in cliché levels (particularly involving Las Vegas) that aren't at all surprising. Chase looks tired in his role (grey hair included), not really making the material given to him leap off much, with the greed aspects seeming more stale than anything. D'Angelo does fine, taking her material and rolling with whatever it leads to (ridiculous as it is), whether with Chase or Newton. Quaid's bumpkin role garners a few laughs, but it isn't anything too particularly new or any too funny. Embry and Nichols deliver plain performances, but it isn't anything too particularly annoying at least. The other members of the cast aren't too terrible, but they don't contribute to too many laughs; Caesar (in his final on-screen appearance) shows up near the end of the film, which is slightly amusing in its briefness for his gestures, sad as that may seem. Newton is okay, but sometimes his scenes fall a bit tiresome, in part because the movie doesn't really have much focus besides just throwing a bunch of gags and lines (and a few visuals of Las Vegas) and hoping it sticks with him. Shawn does fine with this brief but scuzzy part, even if the gag (involving Chase who can't stop losing in bets) gets tiresome fairly quickly. Each of the four Griswolds have their own kind of story, and only D'Angelo's feels particularly interesting, cliché as it is.

The components of writing and directing for this film are a bit different than usual, with the film's screenplay was done by Elisa Bell, who had written a few teleplays for TV movies prior to this film, while Bob Ducsay (a long time editor for films such as G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - #201 and Star Wars: The Last Jedi - #1027) contributed to the story, with Stephen Kessler (in his feature film debut) as director. The blame falls in part to them, but it also falls to people who thought it was a good idea to make a film after eight years with the belief that this would be a huge hit. Instead, the result that came from this movie is a huge dud. Is it horrible? No, but it is a miserable misfire that drags its cast down just as much as it drags the audience down with its attempts at humor. I'm reminded of my actual time spent at Las Vegas a few years ago with my dad, in which I bought a snow-globe that I still have in my house to this day. The brief experience I spent there (including a bad attempt at swimming and staying at a motel) was easily better than the time I spent watching this movie.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

The Last Picture Show.

Review #1000: The Last Picture Show.

Cast: 
Timothy Bottoms (Sonny Crawford), Jeff Bridges (Duane Jackson), Cybill Shepherd (Jacy Farrow), Ben Johnson (Sam the Lion), Cloris Leachman (Ruth Popper), Ellen Burstyn (Lois Farrow), Eileen Brennan (Genevieve), Clu Gulager (Abilene), Sam Bottoms (Billy), Randy Quaid (Lester Marlow), Gary Brockette (Bobby Sheen), Sharon Taggart (Charlene Duggs), Barc Doyle (Joe Bob Blanton), Bill Thurman (Coach Mr. Popper), Jessie Lee Fulton (Miss Mosey), Joe Heathcock (Town Sheriff), John Hillerman (English Teacher), and Frank Marshall (Tommy Logan) Directed by Peter Bogdanovich.

Review: 
Here it is. The big one. I hope to satisfy you folks with the review of this film, which I had been longing to do for quite some time, so what better way than now? It also happens to be a film set and shot in my home state of Texas. Enjoy the show.

It sometimes feels hard to explain the benefits or the highlights of the town you live in, especially if you live in a small city. What does it have that another city doesn't have? Is there much to having civic pride? Based on the 1966 novel of the same name by Larry McMurtry, The Last Picture Show is an interesting look into what makes up a dying little town such as this, and the characters that live in it. Bottoms and Bridges are a fairly effective duo, each having an interesting quality to them that stands out, such as Bottoms' eyes and Bridges' charm, and they both do tremendous jobs that stick out in a cavalcade of stand-out performances. Shepherd (in her debut role) does a spirited job, managing to be interesting along with alluring. Near the halfway point of the film, Johnson's character reminisces about the time spent in a prairie, and the way that he talks about old memories seem like something you could hear from someone in your neck of the woods if you gave a listen. He doesn't have too many lines (in fact he is in the film for nine minutes), but it is the way that he expresses them that makes him an enduring figure in the film, as if he was the soul of the town. Leachman also pulls a capable job, particularly during the climax. The rest of the cast stick out in their own little ways. This film was nominated for six Academy Awards, with Johnson and Leachman winning for supporting roles. These are characters worth watching because these are characters that we can see with fair honesty. They don't suddenly become comic characters for no reason, nor do they become melodramatic, and that serves to be a key highlight and something worth striving for in film today. Is it a bleak film? At times it is, but it also manages to be moving along with enduring, and Bogdanovich is the one responsible for making a movie as put together and complete as this one is.

The city's flatness and empty nature is perfectly captured by the cinematography by Robert Surtees, in part because of how he arranges the shots; the fact that it is shot in black-and-white (decided by Bogdanovich through a conversation with Orson Welles) also helps in showing this town (and its people) with a certain aesthetic that proves fitting for the movie. Everything from the music (with songs from artists such as Hank Williams) to even the clip of the "last picture show" (from the ending of Red River) is planned out in an effective manner. The film proved to be a success upon release, and a Special Edition Director's cut was released in 1992 that added seven minutes to the run-time (making it 127 minutes) that adds a bit to the film's stature. It's a coming-of-age film, but it also is an honest movie that never seems to break its mood nor its intentions. This is a movie worth watching in part because of how it captures the essence of the time it portrays along with its town that seem fresh even after over 40 years since its release.

I just wanted to give a word of thanks to any and all viewers of Movie Night over the past one thousand reviews. It has been a pleasure doing so many reviews in nearly seven years, and I will be the first to say that they have improved in quality over time - but having at least a few people read them (and share appreciation on occasion) feels nice. I do not know what is in store for the next batch of reviews, but I hope that you will enjoy them. Thank you. 

Overall, I give it 10 out of 10 stars.

Attached is a compilation of various celebratory landmarks over the past few years, from the 50th all the way to now. Enjoy:

National Lampoon's Vacation.

Review #804: National Lampoon's Vacation.

Cast
Chevy Chase (Clark Griswold), Beverly D'Angelo (Ellen Griswold), Imogene Coca (Aunt Edna), Anthony Michael Hall (Russell "Rusty" Griswold), Dana Barron (Audrey Griswold), Randy Quaid (Cousin Eddie), Christie Brinkley (Girl in Red Ferrari), John Candy (Russ Lasky), Eddie Bracken (Roy Walley), Brian Doyle-Murray (Kamp Komfort Clerk), Miriam Flynn (Cousin Catherine), James Keach (Motorcycle Cop), and Eugene Levy (Ed) Directed by Harold Ramis (#138 - Bedazzled, #208 - Caddyshack, and #342 - Groundhog Day)

Review
[Skip to the second paragraph if you don't want to read a recollection of the past]
It has been a while since the last Lampoon film I watched (#771 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation), so I figured that this would fit with summer coming right up. From personal experience, I remember when me and my dad decided to drive all the way to Oregon years back (and vice versa). I was 14, but even with the problems that occurred (spark plugs problems, having to drive right straight through California* because we drove too far to the left in Arizona), it was still fun, if not with a few hurdles.

With this movie, I can relate to the frustrations of trying to have some fun on a vacation, but I also can have some laughs, which is what helps the movie, alongside a wonderful cast. Chase and D'Angelo have great chemistry along with good timing, coming off as natural, if not beleaguered. Chase does a great job selling this character, who clearly wants to have fun with his family, and it is fun (if not odd) to watch him gradually get more and more frustrated. It's an episodic kind of movie, expressed through their stops to different towns from St. Louis to Coolidge to (somewhere in) Arizona, all with a Wagon Queen Family Truckster, which is a great ugly car, complete with four headlights and wood paneling that would make a lumberjack blush. The music selection (Holiday Road, Blitzkrieg Bop) are also pretty good, fitting the movie well. Hall and Barron are also pretty good, making perfect examples of kids on a road trip, a weird road trip at least. The rest of the cast are also pretty memorable, such as Quaid and his bumpkin of a character that certainly endears to people who get to deal with at least one quirky relative every so often. There's a certain charm this movie has in that one can relate to (and giggle) with the experience in the movie, such as when they finally reach their destination, Walley World. Not to spoil much, but let's just say that it serves as a fine climax, complete with John Candy being added to the fray. For anybody looking for a vacation movie with all the stops of fun (and misery), I'd check this one out.

*Note: Nothing against California, which actually was pretty decent, if not a big state to go through. My highlight? Getting to drink Mr. Pibb for the first time. Hey, I was 14, give me a break.

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Review #771: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Cast
Chevy Chase (Clark Griswold, Jr), Beverly D'Angelo (Ellen Griswold), Randy Quaid (Cousin Eddie), Juliette Lewis (Audrey Griswold), Johnny Galecki (Rusty Griswold), John Randolph (Clark Griswold, Sr), Diane Ladd (Nora Griswold), E. G. Marshall (Art Smith), Doris Roberts (Frances Smith), Miriam Flynn (Cousin Catherine), Cody Burger (Cousin Rocky), Nicholas Guest (Todd Chester), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Margo Chester), and Brian Doyle-Murray (Frank Shirley) Directed by Jeremiah Chechik.

Review
Please forgive me for not having watched the two Vacation films released before this one. They (along with Vegas Vacation) will be reviewed in 2016. Probably.

Ah Christmas. It's a time of year in which families try to eat food and get along with each other...and other stuff, because I usually just stay home. But I can relate to at least a few things in the movie, particularly the sticky sap tree, and trying to get a collection of lights to work...though I can't say I ever had that many lights (of course I keep my lights on the tree). The characters are pretty much what you probably have in your own family (no I won't reuse this line later) on Christmas, from over-determined to...bighearted to (insert number) degree of grumpy relatives. Chase certainly sells Griswold's lingering madness well. D'Angelo (along with Lewis and Galecki) certainly make for a good cinema family. My favorite scene with them is the opening scene, especially the part about getting a big ol' Christmas tree in the forest. The buildup to it is pretty enjoyable as well (I can relate in a sense to dealing with drivers from the past with my dad). Sure, there are moments when bitterness and circumstance get in the way, but in the end, it's all full of cheer.

In the pile of Christmas films (which apparently is almost 40) I've reviewed in five years, Christmas Vacation has moments of hilarity, but the movie's real strength is the seasonal charm that the movie evokes, especially the enthusiasm of the main character. It's interesting how comedies like this can be christened Christmas classics, but I can see why. It's not a perfect movie, but it just fits the bill of being a Christmas movie that one can accept.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.

Review #409: The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.

Cast
Richard Dreyfuss (Duddy Kravitz), Micheline Lanctôt (Yvette), Jack Warden (Max Kravitz), Randy Quaid (Virgil Roseboro and Lenny Kravitz), Joseph Wiseman (Benjy Kravitz), Denholm Elliott (Peter Friar), Henry Ramer (Dingleman), Joe Silver (Farber), and Zvee Scooler (Grandfather) Directed by Ted Kotcheff (#025 - First Blood)

Review
To close out Canada Day, I decided to review this film from 1974 (have decided that reviewing Prom Night [1980] would be nonsensical), with familiar actor Richard Dreyfuss as the main lead. I already have watched Dreyfuss in American Graffiti and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which were both good. This film is where Dreyfuss gets to shine even more, perfectly acting a character who (at least I hope) is perfectly unlikable (though ironically, he believed his performance was terrible), in someways a parallel to Goin' Down the Road, both films cover the spirit of people trying to succeed in a cold-hearted world, with its small benefits and its disasters. Lanctot is alright, but Randy Quaid (Who I last saw in Independence Day, which wasn't exactly good) is better, he manages to blend well into the film, not going over the top, a subdued but fine performances as two characters. The rest of the cast are good, and it is always nice to see Denholm Elliott, no matter what he does. This is a well-made film that manages to have really good scenery but even better filmmaking, a sad film that has biting comedy at times, but it does not veer from its course, keeping itself in check, and managing to be an excellent film.  

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

And that is the last film for Canada Day, I hope you enjoyed my attempt to give Canadian films some spotlight, because at least I did.

Original image: 

Movie Night: Independence Day.

Review #193: Independence Day.

Cast
Will Smith (Steven Hiller), Jeff Goldblum (David Levinson), Bill Pullman (Thomas J. Whitmore), Margaret Colin (Constance Spano), Vivica A. Fox (Jasmine Dubrow), Judd Hirsch (Julius Levinson), Robert Loggia (William Grey), and Randy Quaid (Russell Casse) Directed by Roland Emmerich.

Review
Fixed for your consideration, everyone. This review was originally published two years ago and later transferred here; I've fixed some errors to help make it look a little better. Enjoy, and welcome to Earth.

First of all, happy Independence Day. The movie is almost a hack of Star Wars, but at least Star Wars had control and some sort of plot. It has one scene I find really good though, and that would be the destruction of the White House, it's such a memorable scene and also because it doesn't use much dialogue.  The aliens are decent, if you like beige monsters, but the ships are so dull looking. One thing I notice is in the beginning when the ships start to enter in the Earth, I thought they look like movie tin cans being dropped through a background. Maybe it's just me though. The acting is alright, with Will Smith being the main standout. Look, whatever he's in, he makes the film more enjoyable, it's just his charm that carries the movie.  

There are three things that happen near the end that I find a bit...mentionable. One, why don't the other nations have a plan instead of waiting for the U.S to do one? I'm sure the other nations of the world have scientists and such to figure it too, ya know. Secondly, the president's speech. I won't repeat it here but just search for it and you'll know what I mean. It's either the most over the top speech ever spoken, or...the most over the top speech ever spoken. Third, why did Emmerich delete scenes that help explain the film's end? Apparently, there were scenes to help explain this a bit better, that were deleted in the final cut, like how aliens get hacked by a virus that Google would laugh at, though I guess if you let a ship that previously crash landed 50 years ago in Roswell (just go with it) into your fortress, you deserve what you get. Overall, it's been 16 years, and there hasn't been a sequel. Yet. 

Countdown to 200: 10, 9, 8, 7...

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars