Cast:
Brian Kerwin (Hank Mitchell), Linda Hamilton (Dr. Amy Franklin), John Ashton (Lt. Col. Archie Nevitt), Frank Maraden (Dr Benson Hughes), Peter Michael Goetz (Dr. Andrew Ingersoll), Jimmie Ray Weeks (Major Peete), with Peter Elliott (King Kong), George Yiasoumi (Lady Kong), and Benjamin Kechley (Baby Kong) Directed by John Guillermin (#726 - King Kong [1976], #1231 - Shaft in Africa, #1447 - The Towering Inferno, #2044 - Never Let Go)
Review:
Do you remember when they did a remake of King Kong the first time around? The 1976 film of King Kong was the one with the poster that called it "The most exciting original motion picture event of all time." Dino De Laurentiis spearheaded the venture after buying the film rights from RKO-General (whether he did so on the basis of seeing a poster in his daughter's room or because he was brought in to it by Paramount after Michael Eisner suggested the idea of a remake is debatable). The fiery John Guillermin (Laurentiis called him a "talent guy" and also a "strange character" while Guillermin aimed to do a remake that could balance jokes and the "danger of bathos" with obvious sincerity) directed a movie laced with a few hiccups. A Lorenzo Semple Jr-penned script aimed for a light amusing touch for a supposed more sophisticated audience while having the balls to have a lead character named Dwan and had to do a man in a suit because of failed attempts to do a full-scale animatronic Kong*. Even though it may not have been the megahit Laurentiis thought it would be (he actually thought it could rival Jaws [1975]), it did make some money. I watched the movie back in 2015 and thought it was painfully average, especially with its human stars, because when I watch a King Kong movie, clearly, I want to focus on the love story. So, anyway, ten years later. Laurentiis wanted to make another movie for years but couldn't get a good script going, with ideas being floated about Kong going to Russia or even being involved with kids for goofiness. But Ronald Shusett (the co-writer of Alien) and Steven Pressfield pitched an idea of an artificial heart that apparently won him over. As for Guillermin, he had made three flops (Death on the Nile [1978], Crossover/Mr. Patman [1980], Sheena [1984]), but here he was, back for what ended up being his last theatrical film as a director; he died in 2015 at the age of 89. Evidently, documentary filmmaker Charles McCracken did uncredited work on the film in directing the film.
Apparently, when it came to reviews, they tried to strong-arm Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert in to only showing snippets of the film on TV for their show if they were positive about the film. The movie did make money (most notably in the Soviet Union), but the marketing costs evidently did not help matters for Laurentiis in a movie that has not exactly had many admirers over the years. It's easy to see why. At least the effects for the two Kongs look fine at times. It helps when the rest of the movie is so damn silly that even the 1960s Godzilla movies would tell it to relax. You might remember that Kong was bloodied and fell down the World Trade Center in the last film. Don't worry, the film will tell you that with its reprisal of the ending of the film that is included here...and that Kong actually is in a coma. I think it actually makes me want to check out King Kong Escapes (1967), the one where Toho did a mechanized King Kong. Here we have a movie with half of a good premise: Kong in the backwoods rather than in a big city...or just have it be about the two Kongs. Instead, it tries to play every card on the table with a lack of interest in really given Kerwin & Hamilton meaningful lines. Kerwin apparently was in on the idea that it was an adult fairy tale that would have humor and basically be more a film to show Kong, and, well, I can't blame him there. The two are just stuck in autopilot, even when trying to spruce up the bare minimum in "he's the cocksure dude and she's the smart one". Ashton and the others that deal with Kong result in little to really care for besides calling them disposable, which is a shame, since one could have fun with an adversary that cares about taking down the beast. It just lacks drama or even corny fun, somehow managing the impossible of just appealing to nobody. At the end of the day, this is overblown 10-pound schlock in a five-pound bag of crap that is semi-enjoyable when one knows that the 1976 film was already pretty lame to begin with. For a film that pretty much nobody wanted, you could probably do worse.
Overall, I give 4 out of 10 stars.
Tomorrow: Fantastic Four (2015)
*Carlo Rambaldi, Glen Robinson and Frank Van der Veer won a special Academy Award for the visual effects. Also, unrelatedly, Pauline Kael called the 1976 movie a "romantic adventure fantasy". Ridiculous.
Steven Pressfield wrote in his book The War Of Art : Steven Pressfield : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive that he thought the script was going to turn out a hit film. While it wasn't, it at least meant he was an actual pro and he went on to do scripts such as Above the Law and novels such as The Legend of Bagger Vance and Gates of Fire.
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