Movie Night: The Room.

Review #185: The Room.

Cast
Tommy Wiseau (Johnny), Greg Sestero (Mark), Juliette Danielle (Lisa), Philip Haldiman (Denny), Carolyn Minnott (Claudette), Robyn Paris (Michelle), Scott Holmes (Mike), and Dan Janjigian (Chris-R). Directed, Written, and Produced by Tommy Wiseau.

Review
Wow. I don't know what to say about this film. With Plan 9 and Birdemic, it took a while, but it all got straightened out. But this...Oh this...First off, the first five minutes are the weirdest part, with generic things said, and introducing our lead, Tommy Wiseau. Oh hai, Tommy Wiseau. He is so bizarre in this film that you wonder what impersonation he is doing, Christopher Walken or Borat. The other actors are generic in tone, ranging from manipulative to...weird. The film may run only 99 minutes, but it feels like there is padding, making you feel bored at times. More bizarre scenes include Denny, throwing footballs, and the rooftop scenes. The story is odd yet generic, with lines that at one point get ridiculous such as: "I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not. Oh hi Mark." It goes from unintentionally funny to dull to generic to confusing all in a swoop. The thing I find unbelievable is that this was made for 6 million dollars, which given the film makes you wonder how it could be this expensive. With bad acting, a confused story, unbelievably odd characters, and a strange amount of holes in the story, why would anyone, including me watch this film? It is one of those films you have to see to believe. But is this the worst in this so called trilogy? Plan 9 was so bad its good, Birdemic was beyond the deep end, and yet this is not off the deep end. Bad, but not the worst. I must mention this film is now officially nine years old. Good grief. *throws football across the screen* 

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

Review #184: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

Cast
Alan Bagh (Rod), Whitney Moore (Nathalie), Adam Sessa (Ramsey), Catherine Batcha (Becky), Janae Caster (Susan), Colton Osborne (Tony), and Rick Camp (Dr. Jones) Directed by James Nguyen.

Review
What can I say? What can I do? What is this planning to? First off, this film is bad, pure and simple. The acting is so wooden with the worst offender being the generic dialogue and even worse boredom. The first 40 minutes are dating and walking and talking...until you get to the birds. I wonder if Nguyen tried to imitate Jaws and its sequence, but then I realize this is a far worse attempt. The birds are the worst monsters/animals I've ever seen. Far worse then Plan 9 from Outer Space's UFOs, and with even worse attacking them (hangers, seriously?) It is a mind numbing bad film that has no entertainment value whatsoever with multitudes of plot holes (Such as running from a store with food and water to a car that is being attacked by the birds), bland messages, and an even worse fact: There will be a sequel to this. But is this so called bad movie reviewing over? Oh, not yet. This "trilogy" isn't over yet.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.

Movie Night: Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Review #183: Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Cast
Gregory Walcott (Jeff Trent), Mona McKinnon (Paula Trent), Duke Moore (Lt. John Harper), Tom Keene (Col. Tom Edwards), Carl Anthony (Patrolman Larry), Paul Marco (Patrolman Kelton), Tor Johnson (Inspector Dan Clay), Dudley Manlove (Eros), Joanna Lee (Tanna), John Breckinridge (The Ruler), Criswell (Criswell), and almost starring Bela Lugosi. Directed by Ed Wood.

Review
Where do I begin with this film? What could I do to review it?  First off, let us begin with the narration, "Future events such as these will affect you in the future" Apart from that, the narration from there and throughout is beyond absurd. The acting (and characters) from...Any of the cast is poorly done, with Johnson doing the worst with his "flailing arms of death" The thing anyone would mention in this film is the effects. Normally I don't mention effects, but I must mention them: From the bizarre plastic UFO's to the even more bizzare description of them as a cigar, they truly are mentionable. One more thing about effects: When you cut from stock footage of Lugosi to a stand in for Lugosi, make sure that they're both at night. With all of this against the film, what is my opinion? It is not the worst of all time. It is a cheeseful romp that while given the bad effects, acting, and story, it is enjoyable enough to at least watch. Ed Wood at least tried to make something. There are far worse movies out there.  Now then, what rating do I give this? I can't give it 0 for one reason: Too silly to be that bad. This begins the Tour de Worse Trilogy.

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.