Movie Night: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

Review #442: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

Cast
Anthony Newley (Captain Manzini), Mackenzie Astin (Dodger), Katie Barberi (Tangerine), Ron MacLachlan (Juice), Jim Cummings (Greaser Greg), Debbie Lee Carrington (Valerie Vomit), Kevin Thompson (Ali Gator) Directed by Rod Amateau.

Review
I've decided to watch this film because of the film's 26th anniversary and because reviewing terrible films are not that common on here, so why not? Before I divulge, there is a fun fact to this film (shocking, I know) this director is also notable for directing episodes of Mister Ed, The Dukes of Hazzard, My Mother the Car, and Supertrain. Which of things sound weird to you? But oh well. I apologize in advance if the review is long, but with a film like this, rants are necessary.

I love the tagline for the film: Out of the garbage pail and into your heart! A live action heap of fun! Oh yeah, I was crying at one point of the film, when I got hiccups and it made me spout tears. So the film begins like most kids flicks...in space. With a trashcan flying...somewhere towards Earth, though I'd like to imagine they really landed on a parallel green and blue looking planet, called...Zerth. You may notice the bizarre names of these characters, like..."Juice, or "Dodger", or "Manzini", or "Tangerine", which sounds like something that 2nd graders would think of. Also, what did this kid do to be bulled by...teenagers who look like adults? He must've done something, he was constantly referred to as "creep", that or the "gang" really like calling people creeps. I'd mention the acting, but I'm told that laughing does not count as an opinion.

And then we see the titular characters, which were adapted from a series...of trading cards. Not a TV show, not a book, not a poem, not even an idea, but trading cards. I'd judge the "Pail Kids" on their looks and terrible puppetry and lipsynced voices, but judging the personalities...is less mean. Especially when they're so nice, stealing vehicles, destroying other vehicles...vomiting on people, and other such things. Their personalities might be worse than the effects. I love the technical errors in this film, like when Dodger (Is it his name, his nickname, or the name he used while being on Earth as a Time Lord?) asks a question to Tangerine while she drives (?) in daylight...and gets the answer at night or when the "Kids" go to see the Three Stooges in a theater (?)...and everybody at the theater..is laughing like hyenas. I know they are watching the Stooges, but is anything really funny enough to laugh really, really hard?  Strangely, the Garbage Pail Kids can make clothes...and sing.  They sing...while stealing clothes from a sweat shop. I can't think of any worse moment to have a song other than a funeral then this. The fashion of the film is terrible, inherently stuck in the 80s but in a bad way. One question that kept popping up all throughout the film is...where is Dodger's parents? Does he even have parents? This is a film that has inspires a lot of questions, such as: Who made a State Home for the Ugly? How do the Pail Kids know Manzini? Are the Kids aliens, and if so, where did they come from? How can Santa Claus, clowns and cavemen be in the House of the Ugly? Who names their bar "The toughest bar in the world"? Who thought this would be a good idea? Why are the designs of the Kids so horrendously bad? There are two good things about this film, though. It was a failure at the box office, and...the end credits. I wonder which film is worse, this or Birdemic. Don't watch this movie, not even for curiosity's sake.

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Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.