T-Men.

Review #2489: T-Men.

Cast: 

Dennis O'Keefe (Dennis O'Brien, a.k.a. Vannie Harrigan), Mary Meade (Evangeline), Alfred Ryder (Tony Genaro – aka Tony Galvani), Wallace Ford (The Schemer), June Lockhart (Mary Genaro), Charles McGraw (Moxie), Jane Randolph (Diana Simpson), Anton Kosta (Vantucci), Art Smith (Gregg), with Reed Hadley (Narrator), and Herbert Heyes (Chief Carson) Directed by Anthony Mann (#1048 - He Walked by Night, #1408 - El Cid, #2010 - Winchester '73)

Review: 

"Violence is always pictorially shocking. You can achieve fantastic effects of violence just by implication and design. And it is one of the good parts of our medium - it tends to shock and tends to excite the imagination and to rouse feelings in the audience that they’ve seen something and experienced something."

Sure, here's another movie involving a government department. Okay, we're not actually talking a paragraph about the U.S. Department of the Treasury, but they are the ones who oversee the U.S. Mint and the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, so yes, it is important that fake currency is investigated and taken out as quickly as possible. The film even features an introduction by Elmer Lincoln Irey, who served as an official for the department before serving as the first Chief of the IRS Intelligence Unit, which prosecuted thousands of people for tax evasion (so yes, the guys who busted Al Capone). Ironically, the movie actually had partial financing from organized crime with John Roselli, a member of the Chicago mob that happened to like movies and formed a silent partnership with Joseph Breen (head of the Production Code Office)*. T-Men was the first film Mann stated as "the first big one" as his previous works were basically ones that were thrust upon him (Mann stated that his days at Republic were fairly grim). Mann worked on the script from scratch and had involvement from William Eirie from the Treasury Department to bring files and create a story with John C. Higgins (of course, Virginia Kellogg was credited with the story while Higgins was credited with the screenplay - however, it has been speculated Henry Blackfort may have been involved somewhere); the research they did there led to them discovering the story of what later became Border Incident (1949). The key producer was Edward Small, who produced one other film with Eagle-Lion and Mann with Raw Deal (released in 1948 that also had O'Keefe as the star) but didn't get fully involved with the company due to feeling like they minimized his contributions. 

Released in late December 1947 on a budget of roughly over $400,000, the movie made over two million dollars, and it was the first of five collaborations between Mann and cinematographer John Alton. I'm sure you can figure out why it matters to have money that isn't fake going around in the general public (hell, how many places do you know that don't have one of those markers around that marks fake money?). What we have here is a lean affair that is definitely entertaining in showing tight work and the people that surround it. Even with the film telling you of its inspiration from an actual case (nicknamed "Shanghai Paper Chase"), you get a worthy semi-documentary feel early on with how it treats the material with efficiency and respect. It's a noir that has respect for its audience and builds its house of excitement for 92 minutes of generally involving fare, which mostly comes at the hands of O'Keefe, who apparently wanted to break into dramas (it helps to have Small as an agent). He proves pretty first rate for what the movie needs in crafty charm that has to play undercover with sincerity that rolls along like a typewriter in rattling consistency. Ford (a vaudevillian in earlier days) makes for a quality gangster presence in usefully odd disposition that gets a particularly brutal end (a steam room). The machinations that arise in trying to seep into the underbelly, even at the cost of being recognized on the street or seeing the death of those who can't cut it, is executed with swift interest by Mann and company (Alton was a pro after all) that makes one invested with the chase from the get-go. As a whole, T-Men is a solid effort for involved, having clear interest for its subject matter with useful energy in its foundation to make a worthy crime noir to recommend.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

*Roselli apparently was later involved in recruitment by the CIA in an attempt to kill dictator Fidel Castro. And then I guess he might be implicated in the boring and worthless conspiracy web of the Kennedy assassination (here's the only take: Kennedy was killed by one and only one loser. The end.). A decade later, he was found dead in a 55-gallon drum in Florida because yes, even 71-year-olds have to get whacked.

The Man Who Would Be King.

Review #2488: The Man Who Would Be King.

Cast: 

Sean Connery (Daniel Dravot), Michael Caine (Peachy Carnehan), Christopher Plummer (Rudyard Kipling), Saeed Jaffrey (Machendra Bahadur Gurung aka "Billy Fish"), Shakira Caine (Roxanne), Doghmi Larbi (Ootah), Jack May (District Commissioner), Karroom Ben Bouih (Kafu Selim), Mohammad Shamsi (Babu), and lbert Moses (Ghulam) Directed by John Huston (#081 - The Maltese Falcon [1941], #094 - The Misfits, #224 - Casino Royale [1967], #419 - Key Largo, #1379 - The African Queen, #1622 - Beat the Devil)

Review: 

Once ago, there was a short story by Rudyard Kipling about kings of Kafiristan, a historical region in what is now Afghanistan. It was called "The Man Who Would Be King" and it was first published as part of the anthology The Phantom 'Rickshaw and Other Tales in 1888 that may or may not have been inspired by a handful of real adventurers ranging from Alexander Gardner to Frederick "Pahari" Wilson to Adolf Schlagintweit. John Huston was probably the ideal person to want to make a film based in adventure because of his already busy life. He dabbled in boxing, training for opera singing, serving as a member in the Mexican cavalry before actually dabbling in screenwriting and directing. Intrigued by the story from childhood, was fascinated by the idea of doing a feature film based on the story, initially targeting Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart for the lead roles in the late 1950s that saw both actors die before it could get off the ground. Further years saw other names floated around from Richard Burton to even American actors (Paul Newman advised keeping it a British affair) before it finally came around to Sean Connery and Michael Caine. Huston co-adapted the story with Gladys Hill (a longtime assistant to Huston who had previously co-written Reflections in a Golden Eye [1967] and The Kremlin Letter [1970]. The movie was shot in locations around France, Morocco and at Pinewood Studios. Premiering in November 1975 before a general release on the week before Christmas, the film was a decent hit with audiences at the time while both Connery and Caine described it as one of their favorite film experiences. The fifth of John Huston's six films directed in the 1970s, he returned four years later with Wise Blood (1979). The next film to take loose inspiration from the Kipling story was The Road to El Dorado (2000).

 

The big thing about the movie is the fact that it manages to be such a fun adventure within the bounds of the thing that binds them most of all: greed. Sure, there is some brotherhood and charm within the characters played by Connery and Caine, but really it all boils down to wanting to matter as people beyond wearing some garb and getting called a god or a king of something. All fall at the end with their titles or classifications laid bare, some do it faster than others and some don't even have their story told to actually tell anyone. The inevitable peril that comes in trying to become a name among men in a world one is ravaging with their own imperial desire is still a fun one, of course, because who can resist scoundrels in adventure? Undeniably, Connery gets the better of the two roles in terms of the most curious in plundering adventure: self-mythologizing within the foundation of one who actually is quite pathetic when you get down to it. Actually, both actors are being sly in playing pathetic types because of how well we engage with them even with how we come to view them, and they are dynamite together. Plummer still makes his mark in making his role dignified even with most of it being opposite Caine. They never really become men of the people, merely just ones who believe they have them right where they want them as tools, which really could play today with how we still underestimate the spirit and belief of "the other". Jaffrey accompanies Caine and Connery with devoted energy that makes for a quality tragic figure. The 129-minute runtime rolls along with little to get in the way of its charm within the harrowing inevitability of when men try to become more than plundering conquerors. Apparently, Huston once said that he read so much of Kipling that it was in his unconscious, one that he understood in terms of a world that was different from the one we know now in terms of how we perceive places apart from us, the honor, and so on and so forth. The Man Who Would Be King is a good time for all in terms of its entertainment and its execution of adventure and tension.

Overall, I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

1,826 days later, it's the 15th anniversary of Movie Night originally being a thing. Sure, it started as ramblings on an online game before it became an actual blog, but the last couple of years (one that has seen at least ten reviews a month for over six years) have arguably seen it hit its stride for actual productiveness that I hope you've enjoyed. More to come in December.

The Rookie (1990).

Review #2487: The Rookie (1990).

Cast: 

Clint Eastwood (Sergeant Nick Pulovski), Charlie Sheen (Detective David Ackerman), Raul Julia (Ulrich Sigmund Strom), Sônia Braga (Liesl Strom), Tom Skerritt (Eugene Ackerman), Lara Flynn Boyle (Sarah Ackerman), Pepe Serna (Lieutenant Raymond Garcia), Donna Mitchell (Laura Ackerman), Coleby Lombardo (Joey Ackerman), Marco Rodriguez ("Loco" Martinez), Xander Berkeley (Ken Blackwell), Roberta Vasquez (Officer Heather Torres), Hal Williams (Detective Powell), Paul Ben-Victor (Felix "Little Felix"), and Tony Plana (Morales)

Directed by Clint Eastwood (#1252 - Space Cowboys, #1310 - Million Dollar Baby, #1476 - Pale Rider, #1501 - Unforgiven, #1550 - Gran Torino, #1638 - Bird, #1757 - Sudden Impact, #1831 - High Plains Drifter)

Review: 

I'm sure you've heard this before: buddy cop movie pairing two distinct folks up for strange hijinks and action to go around. The script to the film is credited to Boaz Yakin (in his second credit after The Punisher [1989]) and Scott Spiegel (the co-writer of Evil Dead II [1987]). This was the second Clint Eastwood film released in 1990 after White Hunter Black Heart, a film that Eastwood apparently had a personal interest in (so, yes, "one for them and one for me"). While that movie wasn't exactly an audience favorite, The Rookie didn't fare too much better at the time because of its release in December 1990 that got overshadowed by Home Alone, released three weeks earlier (did you know that movie was the highest grossing comedy of all time for decades?). The highlight of the film for those at the time may have been the stunt work, with major scenes involving no miniatures or blue screens, which were filmed at night. Of course, this is also the movie where Eastwood gets sexually assaulted by a woman and it is also the same movie where Raul Julia and Sônia Braga were cast to play a couple of Germans. So there's that.

It is a silly and loud affair that almost seems tailor-made for those who enjoyed stuff such as Lethal Weapon, Tango & Cash, you get the idea. But I can't help but wonder if the problems with the film come from the fact that Sheen and Eastwood just don't mesh that well together. Even Tango handled that better. One sometimes wonders who exactly was thought of for the role besides him, as if even Emilio Estevez would've been better off playing the toils of someone trying to be by-the-book in a weary world (this is where I try to not just wish for a different movie in the middle of talking about this movie*). But Eastwood doesn't exactly come off that great either, as if he himself is tired of playing a Dirty Harry pastiche (ironically, The Dead Pool from two years earlier was a better movie). The movie just seems flat-footed for a good chunk of its two-hour runtime, never really getting into full gear with its energy beyond neat stunts (again, mostly at night). It just feels like an obligation film, one that goes through the motions that almost sounds like it was supposed to be a parody of the action thriller, right down to the assault scene which is there because, uh, because. But instead the parts that are meant to be funny aren't as funny and the parts that sound like they want to be serious (such as the flashback trauma) sound like a riff. Even the moments where Julia says racial epithets (get it, he's playing a rough German?) sounds like it was dug up for a joke for the parody rather than an actual serious/fun thriller. Boyle was on Twin Peaks in the same year this premiered and it can easily be said that she has more to actually do on that show than here*, which is kind of sad, and the less said about Skerritt's lack of presence, the better. Julia and Braga technically are the best part of the film, but they can't save the film from meandering as much as it does. As a whole, I wish I could appreciate the movie more, but there is a clear air of lethargic nature to the whole proceedings that you don't get from the usual Eastwood fare. Even when the Dirty Harry movies got a bit long in the tooth, you could still see some zip to them. Here it just doesn't sound like anyone but the stuntmen is having fun, but it doesn't seem quite enough to make for a well-rounded film to actually recommend.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

*For whatever reason, I thought of Tom Hanks. Or hey, what if it was Emilio Estevez matched up with his father Martin Sheen? Or even Eastwood playing the beleaguered lieutenant for a whole film would probably be ideal. 

*As a person who's seen the first six Twin Peaks episodes, anyway.

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Review #2486: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Cast: 

June Foray (the voice of Rocky / animated Natasha Fatale / Narrator's Mother), Keith Scott (the voice of Bullwinkle / the Narrator, animated Fearless Leader / animated Boris Badenov / RBTV Announcer), Robert De Niro (Fearless Leader), Rene Russo (Natasha Fatale), Jason Alexander (Boris Badenov), Piper Perabo (Karen Sympathy; Julia McAnuff as young Karen), Randy Quaid (Cappy "Frank" von Trapment), Kel Mitchell (Martin), Kenan Thompson (Lewis), with David Alan Grier (Measures), Jon Polito (Schoentell), James Rebhorn (President Signoff), Carl Reiner (P.G. Biggershot), Jonathan Winters (Whoppa Chopper Pilot, Ohio Cop with Bullhorn, Old Jeb), Rod Biermann (Ole; Adam Miller as young Ole), Paget Brewster (Jenny Spy), and Janeane Garofalo (Minnie Mogul) Directed by Des McAnuff.

Review: 

Hey, ever hear of a modern adaptation of an old TV show? You might know from your parents (or grandparents, anyway) about aa show called The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends, which originally aired from 1959 to 1964 on ABC and later NBC. It was originally devised by Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, who previously collaborated on a program called Crusader Rabbit; Bill Scott was head writer and also part of the voices that made up the show that featured June Foray, Paul Frees and others. It was actually a variety show that consisted of such segments as, well, the serialized adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle and other segments such as "Dudley Do-Right" (which was adapted by Universal Pictures into its own film in 1999) "Peabody's Improbable History" (later adapted into an animated film in 2014), and "Fractured Fairy Tales". The film was made after many years of development that originally saw Danny DeVito and Meryl Streep for the roles of Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale; the sciept for the film was written by Kenneth Lonergan. He had been involved in the theater since the 1980s but had done a few film scripts, with his next one being, well, work on Gangs of New York (2002). As for its director in Des McAnuff, he has mostly done work for the stage beyond directing just this film and Cousin Bette (1998), although he co-produced The Iron Giant [1999] (go figure). Released in June of 2000 on a budget of $76 million, the film (produced in the wake of Universal's apparent attempts at trying to tap the old TV market such as Flipper [1996], McHale’s Navy [1997], Leave It to Beaver [1997], Dudley Do-Right) was a considerable financial failure for what either was a flop because it didn't hit for young audiences or didn't hit for "Baby boomer nostalgia" or something.

As someone who wasn't too familiar with the show, I actually kind of like this movie. Sure, it is pretty goofy, and sure, it probably is the ultimate hit-or-miss movie with its gags. But damn it, I like goofy stuff like this. Silly narrators, odd hijinks, a deluge of celebrity cameos for the sake of having them, some strange plot involving animated characters in the real world to go along with a totally-not prescient idea of mass-marketed slop.* The effects for our heroes were done by Industrial Light & Magic that had plenty of involved people trying to accomplish McAnuff's wish to have the characters interact with the space and people that looked simple enough (so, yes, having to deal with problems such as selective motion blurring - you can read more here). Foray and Scott make a quality duo to accompany the film in goofy and sly charm, mostly because they just happen to come off as, well, a worthwhile pair to listen to. Of course, a movie like this needs a human counterpart, which is where Perabo (cast after Monica Potter stepped out) comes in. She does relatively fine here, having a few good moments of actual timing (along with an accompanying joke about her "inner child", heh, get it?) mixed in with plenty of okay ones, mostly because even a mild-energy Quaid is still curious to view*.  It should be noted that De Niro was a co-producer on this film. He seems to have a bit more fun than Russo or Alexander in hammy nature that seems ripe for a goofy adventure, and I would say that is more than enough for a film that relies on ham-handed puns and zippy things. There are an array of bit appearances and one-joke cameos that is mostly highlighted by Winters being three one-bit parts that I'm sure will please a few people for 92 minutes, or perhaps it will make you wonder if would've been better as just an animated movie. But at any rate, the movie could be a decent experience for those who like silly jokes and goofy enthusiasm that may hit just enough to make one have enough chuckles to make one believe it was worth the curious trip.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

*I did have this movie on DVD when I was younger but I was the kind of idiot kid that liked to scratch DVDs on the front side and never actually saw the movie until now. Also: This 2000 article namedrops the wave of the past decade and can you imagine how weirder it got?: The Fugitive, Dennis the Menace, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Flintstones, The Mod Squad, The Avengers, Maverick, Casper, The Brady Bunch, Mission: Impossible, Wild Wild West, Charlie's Angels...

*Call me delusional, but the whole idea of having bad television put on screen sounds a bit like the current day debate over "slop". Sure, people in the film don't try and justify slop like people do try to justify the disgusting use of generative AI, but food for thought.

*Just don't ask him about elections or legal issues.

A Double Life (1947).

Review #2485: A Double Life (1947).

Cast: 

Ronald Colman (Anthony "Tony" John), Signe Hasso (Brita), Edmond O'Brien (Bill Friend), Shelley Winters (Pat Kroll), Ray Collins (Victor Donlan), Philip Loeb (Max Lasker), Millard Mitchell (Al Cooley), Joe Sawyer (Pete Bonner), Charles La Torre (Stellini), and Whit Bissell (Dr. Roland Stauffer) Directed by George Cukor (#479 - Travels with My Aunt, #974 - A Star is Born, #1355 - The Philadelphia Story, #1416 - My Fair Lady)

Review: 

Hey, you like movies about actors? You like movies that are basically noirs? You like a movie that basically ended up being a showcase for its lead star? Well, here's a movie for you. A Double Life, originally titled Imagination, was actually meant for Laurence Olivier but when he proved unavailable, it fell to asking Ronald Colman. You might recognize Colman (who moved over from England to America in the 1920s) from a wide variety of features such as Lost Horizon (1937) and Random Harvest (1942); Colman was coached by Walter Hampden in the Othello sequences. Apparently, George Cukor told a reluctant Colman (not exactly experienced in acting the works of Shakespeare) it would be the movie that might get him an Academy Award. The movie was written by Ruth Gordon and Garson Kanin as the first of six collaborations with Cukor as director, which included such films as Adam's Rib (1949) and Born Yesterday (1950). The film was a family affair in production, as it was produced by Michael Kanin (who in himself was known for script-writing such as Woman of the Year). First released in the holiday season of 1947 (in limited form first just to get it ready for the awards circuit), the film was a decent hit with audiences and garnered Academy Award wins for its music score and yes, an award for Colman as well. Colman spent the remaining years of his career doing a few appearances for radio & television alongside appearances in three feature films; Colman died in 1958 at the age of 67.

It is nice to have a film that can be both a showcase for a solid actor who had the voice and the timing to make a film basically work where a lesser actor could just make it feel like a strange joke (an actor getting too involved their craft does sound like it could be comedy). Sure, maybe it isn't as dark as it may wish to be to really stick its landing, and sure, it maybe has a bit of a struggle in making all of its 104-minute runtime work in making it really spooky in actual terror of losing oneself, but it is pretty neat to see anyway. Colman slips further and further into the muck of madness in a way that just seems so fascinating because of how unnerving it is to see the lines blur, and it helps that he sells the Shakespeare sequences (which are in the film quite a bit, as one expects) in the way one would hope to see in worthwhile devastation. The others in the cast are eccentric in parts when the pop in and out, most notably with Winters (eight years earlier, it was Cukor, hearing auditions for Gone with the Wind*, that told an auditioning teenaged Winters to go to acting school). She just has a certain type of spitfire charm that you could clearly see had potential to be more than just an object of curiosity, particularly since Hasso is merely just fine. O'Brien is at least dependable wherever he lurks, although again, you would think he would have a bit more to really play for tension when it comes to a movie that hangs onto a play involving a trio of tragedy, but so it goes. The film has a fascinating execution in the sights (editing, the lighting, pick one) and sounds one experiences at times involving Colman and the growing drumbeat in one's viewpoint. As a whole, A Double Life is a solid enough movie for those who like a film with a murky enough atmosphere and a solid lead to make the entire affair compelling for those who like to check out noirs every now and then.

Overall, I give it 8 out of 10 stars.

*Cukor was the original director in mind for the film before being replaced. By sheer coincidence, today is the 86th anniversary of its premiere in Atlanta.

Pardon Us.

Review #2484: Pardon Us.

Cast: 

Stan Laurel (Stan), Oliver Hardy (Ollie), Wilfred Lucas (Warden), June Marlowe (Warden's Daughter), James Finlayson (Schoolteacher), Walter Long (The Tiger), Tiny Sandford (Shields, Prison Guard), Otto Fries (Dentist), and Charlie Hall (Dentist's Assistant) Directed by James Parrott.

Review: 

Admittedly, I plain forgot to really check out the comedy duo of Laurel and Hardy. So, why not start with their first feature-length film?  British-born Stan Laurel had started on the stage at 16 and did work in music halls (Fred Karno was a particular influence on Laurel and the one he was an understudy to in Charlie Chaplin) and eventually ended up at the Roach studio as director/writer by the 1920s. As for Georgia-born Oliver Hardy, he was a stage singer-turned comedian that had thrived in Florida productions (such as playing second banana to Billy West [a Charlie Chaplin impersonator] shorts) before going to Hollywood to seek new chances. Officially, they became a team in 1927 with Putting Pants on Phillip; Leo McCarey is stated to have aided the duo in helping develop their format. Most of the work they did until 1950 on film was in shorts (totaling over 70, sound and silent), but they did do 23 feature films, mostly with Roach (who when he had a dispute with Laurel, he tried to pair Hardy with Harry Langdon with Zenobia) that went right down to their last in Atoll K (1951). The two even had time to appear on television before Hardy's health started to decline that saw him die in 1957 at the age of 65; Laurel did not appear on film or stage again. He was awarded an Honorary Academy Award in 1961, four years prior to his death at the age of 74.* There exist various versions of the film: a British cut (Jailbirds) lasts 41 minutes while the original release and reissue was 55 minutes, an extended cut lasted 64 minutes and the current DVD edition runs at 70. The funny thing is that there were also foreign-language editions of the film made with the same sets for Spanish, Italian, German, and French, although only the Spanish version survives (apparently, Boris Karloff appeared in the French version). 

Apparently, the 1930 film The Big House was a big enough hit that Roach wanted to a short film making fun of the prison drama and even wanted to use the same sets. MGM was fine with it...if the duo would do a feature for them. Roach decided instead to make a replica of the prison sets. The result was a film that went from a short to having enough material to just be a full-length film. Sure, it might be a bit dated, as evidenced by it being made when one could be arrested for selling beer (or the blackface bit, which happens midway through*). It's a pretty episodic (it was directed by James Parrott, one mostly versed in shorts, which included the future Academy Award-winning short The Music Box [1932]) and disjointed affair, but it can be enjoyable in parts for those in the mood for a bit of goofy fun. There's plenty to mine with a goofy tooth and a few silly scenarios involving the duo wandering through jail life. The duo basically glide through the film in setting up whatever gag is necessary that can be charming in its execution for mischief that basically comes and goes with timing you just don't see everyday. The jail sequences mostly come and go with a bit of chuckles, mostly with Long and his demeanor (Finlayson comes close, but there isn't anything that really just zings too highly or lowly for too long. In general, you have a movie that is fairly watchable and fairly on the level of having some goofs in a time where you could just roll with the gags and have a mostly pleasant experience seeing how it comes together with a game duo there to do it all.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

*Apparently, at the funeral, Buster Keaton stated that the funniest among them was not him or Chaplin but Laurel. Dick Van Dyke (December 13 will see him turn 100) even delivered a rendition of The Clown's Prayer.

*No, I did not intend to watch back-to-back movies where someone is in blackface. What the fuck?

You Can't Cheat an Honest Man.

Review #2483: You Can't Cheat an Honest Man.

Cast: 

W. C. Fields (Larsen E. Whipsnade), Edgar Bergen (Himself and the characters Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd), Constance Moore (Vicky Whipsnade), John Arledge (Phineas Whipsnade), Eddie "Rochester" Anderson (Rochester), James Bush (Roger Bel-Goodie), Mary Forbes (Mrs. Bel-Goodie), Thurston Hall (Mr. Bel-Goodie), and Grady Sutton (Chester) Directed by George Marshall (#650 - The Ghost Breakers and #2228 - How the West Was Won) and Edward F. Cline (#877 - Three Ages and #1354 - The Bank Dick)

Review:

Sure, let's talk about W. C. Fields again. This was the first film Fields made away from Paramount Pictures, which he had made over a dozen movies with before troubles with The Big Broadcast of 1938 led to his departure from the studio. He had done work on radio, most notably having routines with ventriloquist Edgar Bergen and his dummy Charlie McCarthy. Bergen had been a ventriloquist since he was a teenager and had McCarthy as his sidekick created out of a broomstick, rubber bands and cords. In what you might as well call "it was the old times", despite a run from vaudeville to movie shorts, the best notable success for Bergen and McCarthy was on radio, which they did all the way from the late 1930s until 1956 (one suggestion is that is because audiences just believed in the character of McCarthy as a youth they could hear, which probably went just as well for the other dummy in Mortimer Snerd); at any rate, Bergen and company did do a few films together, starting with The Goldwyn Follies (1938)*. So here we are with a Universal Pictures effort that had the efforts of two directors: George Marshall did everything besides working with Fields due to an apparent dislike of him, while Edward F. Cline worked with Fields (incidentally, B. Reeves Eason was the second-unit director doing the chase sequences). Fields starred in three further films: My Little Chickadee, The Bank Dick, and Never Give a Sucker an Even Break prior to his death in 1946.

Admittedly, this works for those who just want a hodgepodge of jokes rather than an involving plot. The screenplay was written by Everett Freeman, Richard Mack, and George Marion Jr, as based on a story written by W. C. Fields (for what totally sounds funny reasons, he was credited as "Charles Bogle"). Really the film just sails on how much you value the misanthropy and huckstering of Fields. It probably works out the best when he is doing an impression of performers by necessity, whether that involves taking on a beard or trying to play ventriloquist (at least when he plays the dummy, there's a mustache trying to hide the movement of one's mouth, unlike a certain person). The 79 minutes come and go with a good deal of amusement at the proceedings with Fields basically trying to play people to a fiddle (blood relation or not) because I'll be damned if Bergen can keep up with him. Sure, there are moments when he can be a decent straight man but he can't really sell anything when it comes to the idea of a love story between him and Moore and when you have two puppets that come and go in...being puppets, you have a film that only works on a basic level. One odd thing for the modern audience: No, I'm not sure exactly why blackface was thought to be so funny that it even creeps up for a sequence midway through where the dummy is shown in makeup. So it goes. The sequence where Fields intrudes on the proceedings of higher-class people is at least pretty funny in seeing the contrast and an elaborate game of ping-pong, particularly since the movie basically just ends with little to show for it (you've got a chase of a chariot and a bike that is closed out by a puppet in a balloon). As a whole, there are a few interesting moments within a film that creaks more than most of its age, which may or may not make for a fine time for those interested in Fields or comedies in general.

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

*Right before Bergen died, he filmed a cameo scene for The Muppet Movie - Jim Henson stated that Bergen was his idol. One of the original dummies is now part of the permanent collection of the Smithsonian Institution National Museum of American History.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah.

Review #2482: Godzilla vs. Hedorah.

Cast: 

Akira Yamauchi (Dr. Toru Yano), Hiroyuki Kawase (Ken Yano), Toshie Kimura (Toshie Yano), Keiko Mari (Miki Fujinomiya), Toshio Shiba (Yukio Keuchi), Yoshio Yoshida (Gohei, a fisherman), Haruo Suzuki (JSDF senior officer), Yoshio Katsube (JSDF engineer), Tadashi Okabe (a scholar), Wataru Ōmae (a policeman), Takuya Yuki (a communications officer), Yukihiko Gondo as a helicopter pilot), Haruo Nakazawa (teenager in the meadow), Kentaro Watanabe (TV news anchor), Haruo Nakajima (Godzilla), Kenpachiro Satsuma (Hedorah) Directed by Yoshimitsu Banno.

Review: 

Apparently, the impetus for this film (the 11th in the series) started with an expo. With the Mitsubishi Pavillion at Expo '70 in Osaka, Toho participated and saw their eyes interested in an audio-visual exhibit of mirror reflections that was created by Yoshimitsu Banno. Banno was approached to make a Godzilla movie and he came up with an idea about a pollution monster in light of the fact that Japan's growing economy would create a huge problem of pollution. Banno had graduated from Tokyo University in 1955 and actually served as an assistant director on four Akira Kurosawa movies and this would be his one major effort as a director. Banno aimed for a small cast with 35 days to shoot. Tomoyuki Tanaka, who usually oversaw the films as a producer, was in the hospital for most of production and Banno used this so he could include a scene he didn't think would get approved otherwise: Godzilla using his atomic breath to fly. Animation was also used at certain points in the film. For the American edit released in 1972 by AIP, it was called "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster" with its own song "Save the Earth" (as opposed to "Give Back the Sun"). The movie was a mild success with audiences, receiving a bit of critical scorn along with subsequent appreciation in some circles (Roger Ebert once said this was his favorite Godzilla movie). Teruyoshi Nakano, who provided the special effects for the film, stated that the comic scenes were likely added to lighten the tone of a film that he felt looking back "seems kind of cruel and heavy handed". Banno never got to do a Godzilla movie again, although he did receive an executive producer credit on a few of the 2010's Godzilla movies in America; Banno died at the age of 86 in 2017. Incidentally, Jun Fukuda returned to direct Godzilla vs. Gigan in 1972, which happened to deal with cockroach-like aliens going to Earth after their planet was destroyed...by pollution.

I have to admit, this is a pretty fun movie. Of course, anything is better than All Monsters Attack. Sure, it probably won't be for everyone with its pacing of 85 minutes full of tension and mayhem...amidst plenty of strange imagery and moments. Just to paraphrase: people get turned into skeletons when sprayed by the monster, one person hallucinates fish heads on people (right before the sludge arrives) building is shown falling down to complete silence, a kid goes on a roller coaster and sees Godzilla appear in silhouette that you can actually spot because...yes. I do appreciate the Hedorah design apparently also being able to shoot lasers because screw it, why not? It might be goofy looking, but it makes a suitable enough idea in being a symbol of what things could be with a lack of care for the Earth: sludge (consider how things look now). People coming together to try and deal with the monster at least this time around is not a collection of speeches in a boardroom, and the kid this time around is mostly just curious rather than being all the way involved like the last film. I fail to see the problem with the scene of Godzilla flying with his breath. After movies where he did a dance and had a goofy son, the flight is not exactly uncanny to actually see in, you know, a monster movie where Godzilla already gets smothered in one eye. Yamauchi and the others in the cast are pretty routine, which is a compliment in that one isn't rolling their eyes at the level of drama that is supposed to play out in a Japan that may be more economically sound but may also lose something much more important in its soul. Even the hippies get involved, with a... bonfire on a mountain. And hey, here's a film where the military does something: they come with a big electrode to try and dry out the sludge monster before Godzilla takes him to the cleaners (wonder how he gets that stuff off him later). As a whole, it is a weird little film, but as a movie trying to be conscious of the time it was made in, it is a pretty entertaining film to see realized that managed to make an impression to stick out from the previous efforts. 

Overall, I give it 7 out of 10 stars.

29 years old today. Ha.

Links for people delivering better insight from the actual production: Smog Monster Director EXTRA / ゴジラ対ヘドラの監督〜EXTRA〜 (SciFi Japan TV #26)

or this: Cinefantastique Magazine: 1970-2002 : Cinefantastique : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

War of the Worlds (2025).

Review #2481: War of the Worlds (2025).

Cast: 

Ice Cube (Will Radford), Eva Longoria (Dr. Sandra Salas), Clark Gregg (Donald Briggs), Iman Benson (Faith Radford), Henry Hunter Hall (Dave Radford), Devon Bostick (Mark Goodman), Michael O'Neill (Walter Crystal, United States Secretary of Defense), Andrea Savage (Sheila Jeffries, FBI Agent), and Jim Meskimen (the President) Directed by Rich Lee.

Review:

This is the debut feature of Rich Lee, who had spent two decades directing music videos for various bands after first doing work at Scenic Technologies doing sets/sculpting and also did work with previsualization for a few feature films. Not exactly the worse resume for a movie that might go down in infamy as one of the most ineffective feature film debuts ever. At any rate, let's start carefully. The screenplay was credited to Kenneth A. Golde and Marc Hyman, with a story by Golde as based on the novel of the same name by H. G. Wells (which apparently is in the public domain now). Evidently, the first rumblings of making this film started in 2020 that would use "screenlife technology" (as, as popularized by films such as Searching (2018), which shares a producer with this film in Timur Bekmambetov. So yes, they wanted to make a film that looked like an event but with the budget of a small thriller. Apparently, post-production lasted for two years after the film was shot over the course of fifteen days and had a handful of edits made over and over again. Actual footage of disasters (such as a fire) had CGI put over it to serve for this film. Universal was originally set to release it, but it was later sold to Amazon, who released it onto Prime Video. You might wonder why this film gets a pass then despite being on a streaming thing. Well, I do love a good target, especially one that claims to not be deterred by bad reviews.

The following things are namedropped or shown: Spotify, FaceTime, VISA, Zoom, the Mac, Tesla, the Push button ("that was easy"), Amazon (drones are totally cool) and gift cards, commentators such as Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson. Bekmambetov apparently believed that the best way to experience the action through the lens of phones and computers that surely would be a modern spin of the novel akin to the Orson Welles radio broadcast from 1938. I cannot imagine someone trying to pretend to be immersed in the film actually portraying an invasion and people rising above it to tell truths by displaying an image that says: "Let's Disrupt Some Shit". You have got to be kidding me with this movie, right? There is no desire in my mind to give the film the "so bad it's good" treatment, there is only a desire to bury this movie into the ground for all of the genuine terrible quality that comes through in 89 minutes of what barely even counts as a film. How can you call this a movie where you are basically paying attention to small rectangle rather than the whole frame? How can you call this a movie where you already know the outcome and the characters are still badly developed? How could this have passed for a film? Is that all there is, movies being made for "content"? To call this a movie is an insult to movies made on a shoestring budget or even Neil Breen. You can't believe anything you see or hear with the film from hacking to the art of needing a thumb drive as delivered by a drone. Ice Cube can't even make this tolerable to watch because he just sounds bored by what he is doing here, a movie where he was filmed without the director or actors around. Gregg can't even sell the idea that he cares about the perils of trying to seize a higher place of power in disaster because he has the commitment level of someone stuck in an unending phone call. The "Disruptor" stuff is just cringe and unconvincing in actually making you believe in the film besides the invasion. The effects, aside from the probable tastelessness (debate for yourself) of taking actual suffering and putting CG over it, don't even heighten the drama because the visuals just aren't interesting to look at. In the end, you could stick with the 1953 or 2005 version of War of the Worlds, end of story. This is an insult to moviemaking, and it honestly deserves to be buried into the ground for sheer audacity in wasting the time of its audience with no sense of tension, interest, or soul in any shape or form. Laughing at it isn't enough, giving it a 0 is what it deserves.

Overall, I give it 0 out of 10 stars.

Well, we tried our best to do a quality Turkey Week. Six Novembers of having some pretty bad movies to close out the month has been pretty enjoyable, and I look forward to further years of ridicule. At any rate, presented here were the finalists: 

Doolittle / Killing Me Softly / National Lampoon's Movie Madness / Gotti / Driven / Date Movie / H. G. Wells' The Shape of Things to Come / Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Atlas Shrugged: Part II.

Review #2480: Atlas Shrugged: Part II.

Cast: 

Samantha Mathis (Dagny Taggart), Jason Beghe (Henry Rearden), Esai Morales (Francisco d'Anconia), Patrick Fabian (James Taggart), Kim Rhodes (Lillian Rearden), Richard T. Jones (Eddie Willers), D. B. Sweeney (John Galt), Paul McCrane (Wesley Mouch), John Rubinstein (Dr. Floyd Ferris), Robert Picardo (Dr. Robert Stadler), Ray Wise (Head of State Thompson), Diedrich Bader (Quentin Daniels), Bug Hall (Leonard Small), Arye Gross (Ken Danagger), Michael Gross (Ted 'Buzz' Killman), Rex Linn (Kip Chalmers), Larisa Oleynik (Cherryl Brooks), with Thomas F. Wilson (Robert Collins), and Teller (Laughlin) Directed by John Putch.

Review: 

Okay, maybe it seems silly to cover another Ayn Rand movie for Turkey Week. But if you had the displeasure of watching Atlas Shrugged: Part I. The 2011 movie barely made it to any theaters to begin with, so guess how they raised money for the sequel. Apparently, $16 million was raised by a company based in New Jersey in a private debt sale. Filming apparently was then announced to start in April 2012 to be released in October 2012 that totally would be in line with the U.S. presidential election. One of the writers of the film was Duncan Scott, who apparently did a re-edit of We the Living (1942) with English subtitles. He is credited with the screenplay alongside Duke Sandefur and Brian Patrick O'Toole. Everything is different, right down to the director. John Putch has mostly directed for television and a few projects for video. Even the cast is different, as apparently it wasn't easy to negotiate options with actors in such a short time. Producer John Aglialoro went on the interview circuit a bit in stating his hopes for the film to hit with certain audiences, once stating that leftists dismiss Rand as a "cartoon....that she was for selfishness". Perhaps not surprisingly, the movie was not screened for critics, accusing them as having their integrity going off a cliff while also deciding, yes, these think-tanks called The Heritage Foundation and the Cato Institute are going to be fair and balanced towards this movie*. Atlas Shrugged Part II did get to screen on over a thousand screens on opening day....and a month later, the producers decided to not release numbers for it by the time it made a whole $3 million. The market rejected the films in theaters, but Aglialoro decided to finish the job with a third film in 2014 (you know damn well we'll be back to see that film in 2026).

The movie is termed as "sci-fi drama, and I hesitate to nof chuckle. If this was meant to be a challenge of the meme that rolls with the word "libertarian" in "we demand to be taken seriously!", it would be a bonafide swing-and-a-miss. It somehow is technically better than the previous film but is just as insanely boring, with its attempts at celebrating the defiant businessman and its incessant asking of who is John Galt (I'm Spartacus!) making me giggle again and again. The most fun you may get from the film is in the name game of spotting people you might recognize from better things: hey hey, its Ray Wise (and accompanying evil sneer) from RoboCop/Twin Peaks! A collection of TV guys in Teller (who speaks!), Picardo, Gross, Bader and Linn. A lead from Pump up the Volume*. Could you imagine if this film actually did influence someone in how they voted in an election? What, vote for conservatives or they'll keep trying to make movies to break into the mainstream? If you go up to a mirror three times and say "taxation is theft", will a Libertarian appear out of thin air to scold me for believing in a driver's license? It probably goes without saying that the dialogue is as stilted as ever for a movie that would probably serve as the real test for if something designed to preach to a specific choir is actually slop. Then again, how many movies actually show TV pundits play themselves? It is funny that this is the middle film of a series that certainly was just itching to get to John Galt and his big speech for the conclusion (70 pages for a book, probably less for a film) that basically dances like a soap opera with further people leaving society because, hey, who is John Galt? Mathis and Beghe can only do so much under the strain of it all, which means they sometimes sound vulnerable like actual human beings, even if two movies have managed to do little in making the audience realize why they matter as characters. The unending desire to nail oneself on the cross of Rand means an inevitable speech is looming around the corner or the soap opera-tier characters pop in and out, which is sad because good god you need a really over-the-top villain (Wise could've easily swallowed the film, so naturally they give him a few lines) to up the tension.. It basically resembles a religious movie but with the morals of holding the one true power together: capitalism rules guys, we just have to trust these elite and not the evil government red tape to do their job! The fact that the apparent depression that is supposed to be in the film basically shows just a few people at random times does put the proper trim of amusement to it all. They manage to make plane maneuvering and a train-crash the equivalent of one guy trying to start a "wave" and getting crickets. As a whole, Atlas Shrugged: Part II continues to get stuck in the mud of wooden dialogue with actors that cannot possibly hold it together when its foundation is a self-serving mash of meandering goofiness. 

 

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

Later: War of the Worlds (2025)

*Hey, I try to have a balance. I try to not share visible irritation for the following: annoying pretentious filmmakers, hippies, annoying conservatives, annoying liberals, and people who believe that movies/video games influence people to do violence. If you ever want to say what grinds your gears: leave a note.

*Perhaps ironically, Samantha Mathis was elected to serve in a trade union position with Vice President, Actors/Performers of SAG-AFTRA from 2015 to 2019. Ayn Rand wasn't big on "altruism" and unions (as selected here: Ayn Rand's Defense of an Anti-Union Massacre — History News Network) but sure loved the government-run Social Security and Medicare in later years.

Postal.

Review #2479: Postal.

Cast: 

Zack Ward (The Postal Dude), Dave Foley (Uncle Dave), Chris Coppola (Richard), Jackie Tohn (Faith), J. K. Simmons (Candidate Eugene Welles), Verne Troyer (himself), Larry Thomas (Osama bin Laden), David Huddleston (Peter), Seymour Cassel (Paul), Ralf Moeller (Officer John Mann), Chris Spencer (Officer Greg Sharp), Michael Paré (Panhandler), Erick Avari (Habib), Lindsay Hollister (Recorder), Brent Mendenhall (George W. Bush), Rick Hoffman (Mr. Cornelius Blither), with Michael Benyaer (Mohammed), and Uwe Boll (himself) Directed by Uwe Boll (#1765 - In the Name of the King, #1924 - Alone in the Dark, #2144 - House of the Dead, #2317 - BloodRayne)

Review: 

"The lessons I have learned from my live-action adaptations of video game franchises have shaped my growth as a filmmaker. While there are areas where I would have approached things differently in hindsight, I am grateful for the opportunities to bring these beloved games to the big screen and to continue evolving and pushing boundaries in the world of film."

Oh go figure, another Uwe Boll video-game movie. You might call it low hanging fruit, but there is a curiosity to what Boll does so weirdly in trying to adapt material in his own vision for audiences. The basis for this film is Postal, a 1997 top-down shooter game developed by Running with Scissors (as founded by Vince Desiderio). Whichever game one played (the first was isometric, the second was first-person and open-world), you went around encountering the town of Paradise and shooting things (the first was probably a bit controversial, it featured an attempted shooting of a school). Apparently, the German fan club of the game contacted Uwe Boll and asked him about doing a film based on the game. Boll contacted Desiderio and got the rights to do a film as long as the company had involvement with the production. Apparently, Desiderio did have a dark and gritty script in mind with Steve Wik (who was involved with the two games) but Boll instead went with a script he wrote with assistant director Bryan C. Knight that had "satire". After all, his first film (German Fried Movie) was a comedy. Apparently, there are two versions of the film, one that is 100 minutes and a "Director's Cut" of 114 minutes (which did have a festival screening); inquire further here. Although there were ideas of doing a wide release...distributors balked to where it had a release to four screens on opening week in America. The movie was shot in September/October 2006, roughly around the same time that Boll had a series of boxing matches against alleged online critics of his films (for whatever reason, one of the DVDs included footage from said fight as a bonus feature). Boll didn't take certain reviews well, but your milage may vary. Boll tried to do a Kickstarter for a sequel in 2013 to raise $500,000 but dropped out after it raised less than seven percent of its goal. Boll was involved in a few more sequels to his video game films with BloodRayne and In the Name of the King, albeit for the video market. Postal is the penultimate feature film adaptation of a game that Boll did, with the last one being Far Cry (2008).

Technically speaking, this is his best video game movie. Go figure, the one where he tried to do jokes on purpose is almost an actual movie. The opening scene may or may not set your expectations a bit too differently from the actual film: it starts with a debate from two terrorists flying a plane over just how many virgins they will get for the attack they will do before the plane. When they don't like the answer and try to abandon the mission, the passengers end up breaking into the cockpit right as the plane crashes into a tower. So, there's that. For all of the controversy one could have about making light of a certain plane crash, the real issue of the film is that it only works on a basic level of humor that barely rises above juvenile at times because of the assortment of jokes that basically come off as ones done based on what irritates Boll or what might get the most jollies, whether that involves male nudity (don't ask who), bad women drivers getting shot up, annoying panhandlers that won't leave you alone (okay that one is relatable) fat people antics involving food or sex, a lead character wearing a "Peace" shirt when shooting people, depicting Osama bin Laden and Bush as buddies, and so on. Boll claims that various actors (Foley, Troyer, Simmons) wanted to be in the film against the wishes of their agents. Sure. Some of the cast do better in timing than others, probably best served with Foley, who seems to practically glide in playing sleaze for over-the-top amusement. Ward (who apparently would be a featured option in the next two Postal games) has a few effective moments in timing where life is basically hell around him, one where basically regrets are for lesser people, as evidenced by the scene where he tries to get a better numbered ticket while a rampage is going down at the unemployment office. Boll must've at least had a tiny bit of glee to play a fictionalized version of himself here: he gets to make an Auschwitz joke and tell folks that he hates video games. The gallows humor basically works best when it seems to deal with how violence begets more violence as opposed to say, Verne Troyer getting penetrated by monkeys or a ridiculously complicated plan about trying to steal dolls. The violence is about as stock as it can be and the timing of the jokes may or may not be the result of having just a few takes to do them for "freshness". The film can't quite achieve the humor it yearns to have and instead is a bit too goofy to actually click on a consistent level, but I did at least enjoy a chunk of its simmering annoyance at human foibles. As a whole, Boll clearly wanted to make a broad satire about violence or something about political anarchy that might as well be a poor man's Dr. Strangelove. Is it successful? No, it is full of crude hits-and-miss moments, but it definitely is watchable enough to at least make you believe Boll has potential as a filmmaker beyond calling him one of the worst. Pick your poison. 

Overall, I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Saturday: Double feature.

Twisted Pair.

Review #2478: Twisted Pair.

Cast: 

Neil Breen (Cade Altair / Cale Altair), Siohbun Ebrahimi (Donna), Sara Meritt (Alana), Denise Bellini ( Agency Director), Marty Dasis (Corp. Executive/Detective/Soldier), Brad Stein (Detective), John Smith Burns (Corp. Executive), Art MacHenster (Corp. Executive/Soldier), and Greg Smith Burns (Cuzzx) Written, Produced, and Directed by Neil Breen (#1767 - Fateful Findings, #1925 - Double Down, #2146 - I Am Here....Now, #2313 - Pass Thru)

Review: 

There are probably people who actually believe Neil Breen makes movies as some sort of a joke. Well, that would be stupid, so let's approach these movies with the curiosity of wondering how a filmmaker continually manages to make terrible movies ("so bad it's good" should be sent to the woodchipper). As before, Breen serves as the costume designer to go with a variety of other things that he "cleverly" tries to hide in the credits. Apparently, the movie had crowdfunding from GoFundMe that raised a few thousand dollars, with filming being done at Nevada State College. So, what's the plot description for this film? Breen plays two identical twin brothers (well, "identical" minus the fake beard) that are hybrid A.I. entities that have different methods to "achieve justice for humanity", mainly because one got fired for not doing good at their job (which namely involves things like protecting troops or jumping in the air). All for the runtime of 89 minutes, as evidenced by the poster that you can see on the actual website (complete with an AOL account, in case you need to ask questions about how to buy a DVD for $30). In 2023, a sequel was released with Cade: The Tortured Crossing. 

 

You can see that this is the film where Breen really wanted to do green screens for damn near anything possible. But hey, at least the premise is different. He has evolved from cut-off vests with medals from his very first film (which he made in 2007, mind you) to having folks admit their crimes before a mass suicide to now just making folks vanish/blow up to...having a plot to take one guy's "empire" down. While having a scene where he just sits near a computer. One sequence in particular sticks out early: Our hero bumps into a girl and tries to apologize to her with a date but she rejects it. Then he follows her house and breaks in that leads to a fight...where it is then revealed that they actually already are in a relationship and that I guess they like to roleplay. Ever hear of Henry Darger? That was a janitor/hospital worker who became noted only in death because of a 15,145-page novel he had written about child slave rebellion to go along with a variety of collages and illustrations*. Breen's movies must feel like that: the work of someone who just wrote whatever the hell popped in their head, and I don't even know if Breen has ever actually been influenced by movies with his stuff. Stock footage and green screens are all that you get with this movie when it isn't filmed at night, complete with an eagle because, reasons. I wonder when and how Breen was compelled to start making movies like this: he has to be, what, 60 by this point? He basically is doing the same kind of weird fan-fiction about himself that for whatever reason deals with the fallout of people being abandoned (children or not) to go with saying mealy-mouthed stuff about artificial intelligence and casting people that probably aren't too different than if you found people at your local Denny's to go do a video. I reject the idea that Breen is an outsider artist, mainly because Breen just seems like he makes movies for whatever he pleases, regardless if they get screened at festivals or not. His stuff is repetitive yet they earn one star because even this is a smidge above Coleman Francis (that may be the real low bar, don't let anyone tell you about Ed Wood). Between the strange magic frames, diamonds, guys getting shot and again and a reference to the ending of Pass Thru (which is being screened in a room with an Ultraviolet poster), there is plenty to notice for what ultimately is another Neil Breen experience in confounding strangeness. 

Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.

Black Friday: Postal.

*see, Movie Night does try to teach.

A Sound of Thunder.

Review #2477: A Sound of Thunder.

Cast: 

Edward Burns (Travis Ryer), Catherine McCormack (Sonia Rand), David Oyelowo (Marcus Payne), Ben Kingsley (Charles Hatton), Jemima Rooper (Jenny Krase), Wilfried Hochholdinger (Dr. Lucas), August Zirner (Clay Derris), Corey Johnson (Christian Middleton), Heike Makatsch (Alicia Wallenbeck), Armin Rohde (John Wallenbeck), and William Armstrong (Ted Eckels) Directed by Peter Hyams (#233 - 2010: The Year We Make Contact, #326 - Timecop)

Review: 

Hey, ever read A Sound of Thunder? Well, there were rumblings of making a film adaptation of Ray Bradbury's short story of the same name (as originally published in 1952) since at least 2000, when Renny Harlin and Pierce Brosnan were tapped to work on it for Franchise Pictures, with Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer tapped to write the script (Gregory Poirier later worked on the screenplay to get credit with the duo, known for co-adapting Sahara). They wanted to fast-track production before a possible actor strike, but the following year saw Harlin taken out for Peter Hyams and eventually Edward Burns was cast over Brosnan, who wanted re-writes. Franchise Pictures went down under during post-production, which got in the way of a movie that was meant to be $55 million. In 2004, Franchise filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The movie was being filmed in Prague when an actual flood hit the area that saw re-scheduling and a post-production that went on for nearly two years. Previsualized software (and sub-contracted work) was used to basically save time what became a nightmare. This was the 18th feature film for Peter Hyams, who had previously started the 2000s off with The Musketeer (2001), which didn't exactly rock the world. After this, he made two more movies: Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (2009), a movie that may actually have even less of a reputation than this movie, and Enemies Closer (2013), a film that had a limited US release; the then-66 year old also shot for Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009), as directed by his son.

In the future of 2055...people spend money to go back in time to wait for a guy to tell them when they can shoot a dinosaur dead. Sure. It almost seems too easy to say this movie is really, really bad. There's something to be said about a movie that talks about "time waves" and "Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle" with the confidence that audiences would just accept the malarkey that comes across for a mess in both visuals and as a time travel movie. What you get here is a bland movie, one that has a handful of bad green screen effects and dopey-looking creature effects that would've seemed ripe for an Irwin Allen movie. But even if the effects were magical or invoked some sort of interest, it was not going to override the lack of an interesting story that can't really evoke the Bradbury story. The original story wasn't really much besides saying "careful about stepping on something, otherwise everything goes to hell because, that insect was important millions of years ago" (the name of the story came from the firing of a rifle), but here you get a movie where for whatever reason the changes to the timeline happen from wave to wave that makes plants and stuff grow weirdly. All from a mess-up where trying to shoot up a dinosaur that was planned to die (notice how shooting the gun doesn't have an effect on the stuff around the dinosaur). With how the characters have to go on a trip to see who messed up with the stepped-on thing, I wonder if someone watched The Warriors a bit too much. It also lacks an interesting hero or villain to really latch on to, and that's even with the presence of a white-haired Kingsley. Burns might as well be transparent with how he brings nothing to the table as the lead focus: there isn't a sense of guilt or adventure to anything he goes through, and McCormack can't actually make the consequences of time travel seem compelling either. You would think Kingsley would know better than to do stuff like this, but between him trying to be "funny" here and a "villain" in BloodRayne (2005), I suppose money does win out. The others don't end up any better, mostly being used to basically serve as fodder (given that the ending never seems in doubt, obviously the dead-count is back to zero). There just isn't anything to laugh with in terms of humor or anything to really gawk at for interest, and the climax is all about...using a few seconds to say the right thing and save the insect. As a whole, even when knowing that the film took years and years to actually realize its vision, there is no slice of hope to be found here with how bland and uninvolving it all is.

Overall, I give it 2 out of 10 stars.

Next up: Twisted Pair.

Fantastic Four (2015).

Review #2476: Fantastic Four.

Cast: 

Miles Teller (Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic), Michael B. Jordan (Johnny Storm / Human Torch), Kate Mara (Sue Storm / Invisible Woman), Jamie Bell (Ben Grimm / The Thing), Toby Kebbell (Victor Von Doom / Dr. Doom), Reg E. Cathey (Dr. Franklin Storm), Tim Blake Nelson (Dr. Harvey Allen), Tim Heidecker (Mr. Richards), and Dan Castellaneta (Mr. Kenny) Directed by Josh Trank (#152 - Chronicle)

 

Review: 

"I don’t regret any of it. It’s a part of me."

Oh sure, this is an easy target. But why not? 20th Century Fox saw two Fantastic Four movies make a little bit of money and thought they could start over, finally settling on Josh Trank to direct in 2012, as he had made quite the impression with Chronicle. While Jeremy Slater (who actually had provided a bit of input in the script of that film) was initially tabbed to do the screenplay, it went nowhere when they clashed over what they wanted the story to be as Slater wanted to go for a tone akin to the recent release of The Avengers (2012)...which Trank hated, because he apparently had only seen the 1990s animated series and wasn't exactly a comic book movie fan. Simon Kinberg was hired as a co-writer and co-producer in 2013. The movie was filmed in 2014 over the course of 72 days but Trank had a hell of a time trying to balance the workload and internal pressure, with varying level of reports over how stressful it was in production (whether his behavior was erratic is up to debate - the casting of Jordan as Storm riled a few people on message boards and Trank resorted to carrying a gun on his nightstand). The apparent first cut of the film was "morose" and not to Fox's liking which led to reshoots and re-writes; ultimately, Trank, Kinberg, and Slater were credited for the screenplay. Trank did negotiate a deal to at least make his own cut while Fox got Stephen Rivkin to make a cut assembled from certain takes, which Trank claimed were picked deliberately to be cheesy. One day before the release of the film, Trank posted on social media about having had a fantastic version of the film in mind that would probably never be seen. The movie made a bit of money but obviously did not generate desire for a sequel* while Trank didn't return to directing until Capone (2020).

I can't even tell just who is most at fault for this piece of junk. How bad was Trank's first cut that they went with a version that never actually goes into first gear? 100 minutes go by with four lead characters that have chemistry on the level of when you encounter a homeless man on the street. The movie looks and feels so dreary that it makes the 2007/2009 Fox efforts actually look like high-effort features, right down to an opening sequence that has "it's clobbering time" used first....when Ben Grimm is hit by his brother. What was the second idea, Johnny Storm having a fear of fire because his mom got burned to death? Sue Storm being afraid of being alone because of a traumatic clown experience? The movie is basically a wind-up toy that goes nowhere, says nothing, and accomplishes nothing. Apparently, Trank's experiences living in a "racially intense Los Angeles where we were used to seeing white superheroes", combined with being a director with control, led to him casting Jordan as the Human Torch (actually, he also wanted to cast a black woman to play Sue Storm too but was overruled). It's funny that the one really noted name that Trank got for the film did get to be in a successful film for 2015...with Creed, which was released months after Fantastic Four. Sure, nobody pulls off a quality performance of the four, but he probably is the least affected, I suppose. It isn't even worth crapping on Teller, what exactly is he supposed to do in a movie where he doesn't register any sort of energy? The chemistry between him and Mara actually is transparent in how thin it feels, and Mara almost does accomplish the act of seeming invisible...except for the fact that Bell accomplishes even less with a rock-man that inspires chuckles at how it looks. Kebbell has two hurdles to stumble over: a pathetic characterization of Victor Von Doom (as last played by Julian McMahon to mild results) and a Dr. Doom that is in the movie for less than 15 minutes that doesn't get an interesting motivation when he is turned into a grey-green goo man. When the most involved person in the movie is Cathey in a thankless role, you are in trouble. It can't even be a cheesy movie like the 1994 unreleased feature, no, it has to try to be a failed imitation of stuff like Batman Begins (2005). The climax of the movie is probably the most cobbled-together and it happens to have the one noted line: a stupid line about "fantastic" that became a "meme". You would think after four Fantastic Four movies, you would get one that has a friendly quartet and interesting action and production values, but oh no, not quite. As a whole, Fantastic Four (2015) is a movie fit for nobody. It is made of nonsense that will come and go with absolutely no impact except maybe to the psyche of Josh Trank. It does however make a good film to make fun of, at least.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.

Next for Thanksgiving: A Sound of Thunder.

*Ten years later, Marvel did The Fantastic Four: First Steps, a bare minimum for a decent movie. No, I'm still a bit mad that they went with having that dopey baby in it.