Gymkata.

Review #1036: Gymkata.

Cast: 
Kurt Thomas (Jonathan Cabot), Tetchie Agbayani (Princess Rubali), Richard Norton (Zamir), Edward Bell (Paley), John Berrett (Gomez), Conan Lee (Hao), Bob Schott (Thorg), Buck Kartalian (The Kahn), and Eric Lawson (Colonel Cabot) Directed by Robert Clouse (#587 - Enter the Dragon)

Review: 
You may be wondering to yourself the following question: "What is Gymkata?" Well, it is a mix of the skill of gymnastics with the kill of karate, as stated in the poster for the film, which apparently was based off the novel The Terrible Game by Dan Tyler Moore. Knowing either of those facts doesn't make the movie any much better, considering that this is a by the numbers terrible flick. The plot of the film is as follows: A gymnast is approached by special forces to participate in some sort of ancient game (called "The Game", naturally) in a fictional country in order to see if he can win this athletic competition that no outsider has won in over 900 years. The winner is granted a wish, and they want him to wish...for a US satellite monitoring station to be installed in the country in order to monitor all satellites in space so the "other side" can't. Yes, that is the premise. If you were shaking in your boots in anticipation for the movie, then all power to you. Honestly, this is a movie made to show off action sequences, and it does so with the scenery of Yugoslavia and no sense of energy aside from a few laughs at the film and its plot. The film is essentially something you'd see from someone who wanted to showcase action and take a bunch of cliches together, such as the jealous rival, the monarchy that the hero familiarizes with, the long-lost father, and so on. Nothing dates this film better than mentioning the "Star Wars" program, but then again who's surprised by this?

It may interest you to note that Kurt Thomas (with a size of about 5-4.5, which is a bit shorter than my size) was a world champion in numerous categories in gymnastics in 1978-79, with two gymnastic moves (the Flair and the salto) being named for him. In the sense of his sequences on the mat and in action, he does a fine job in his first (and only) film appearance. He doesn't do too great performance-wise, but that can apply to pretty much everyone else in the film, who don't exactly seem to have too much enthusiasm for the story, although I will admit that Norton certainly fits the bill as a silly villain for the hero to defeat. If you don't really care too much for characters, story, or general competency, then this is probably the movie for you. I can't really say I was surprised that this turned out to be a stinker, so how can I be mad? How can I be mad that this is an absurd and goofy piece of film when I knew that it was coming? As dated as the film is, I will date this review further by stating that I watched this on Turner Classic Movies (TCM), who showed this film (and the film reviewed earlier yesterday) on Saturday night as part of their "Underground" series. I will say that they certainly fit the bill as an example of a terrible pairing that also works well for their series, along with Movie Night, obviously. Sometimes you just need some bad flicks to truly remember what makes for good and bad films, and Gymkata is one of those films.

Let's not forget the ending where (spoilers) the first satellite monitoring station was installed after our hero wins the game. Truly it was important enough to note on the epilogue. I tried to check if there were many quotes for the film on IMDb and it turns out that there was one that was more than a whole sentence: "There are many sounds around us, each is slightly different. So small as to go un-noticed by the person who is unaware. Do not hear the wood split. Hear the only sound of axe, cutting air. Read the air itself. It has much say to you." Basically, the movie stinks. But it is the kind of stinker that you may get a kick out of, particularly if you dig movies that aim for cheap pulp action without any sort of illusion about what it wants to be. For all that I said about the movie, it is up to you the viewer to see what your interests are for this odd little flick...if you dare.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.