Invasion of the Star Creatures.

Review #1202: Invasion of the Star Creatures.

Cast: 
Robert Ball (Pvt. Philbrick), Frank Ray Perilli (Pvt. Penn), Gloria Victor (Dr. Puna), Dolores Reed (Prof. Tanga), Trustin Howard (Sergeant), and Mark Ferris (Colonel Thomas Awol) Directed by Bruno VeSota.

Review: 
Sometimes you just know a film is going to be trouble with the credits. What should I really expect from "R.I. Diculous Presents"? Believe it or not, the script (known under titles such as "Monsters from Nicholson Mesa") was written by Jonathan Haze, star of The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) who was originally intended to also star in the film - although this did not come to pass. Perhaps Haze (and b-movie director VeSota, who also starred in Roger Corman productions such as Attack of the Giant Leeches) should have thought hard about what they were getting into before deciding to go for comedy, since the only achievement that they have done is that they made a comedy that garners less laughs than films not going for laughs on purpose. If A Bucket of Blood is entertaining for its balance of horror and black comedy, perhaps this film is that one's dopey cousin that likes to daydream about silly gags and alien women that you can get to love you by kissing them. After all, one of the producers is Samuel Arkoff, whose company American International Pictures helped distribute both features. This was actually released on a double-bill with The Brain That Wouldn't Die - it is actually hard to tell which is worse. Having either fact only makes it easier to recommend literally any other AIP film than this one. Ball and Perilli are our main duo for 70 minutes (80 for the television version), and it occurs fairly quickly that they will prove tiresome, since they are tedious to follow along with not being too particularly funny to boot. This is a film that thinks that a sergeant talking in beatnik slang will surely get the laughs going. By the time the alien women appear on screen, it seems like a sigh of relief - having different faces to watch that aren't torturing the masses with lame gags. Victor and Reed aren't exactly given much to do besides tower over the bumbling duo and occasionally talk about their (supposedly) devious plot; perhaps a campy action sci-fi film would've made for a better use of their time, although they wouldn't be helped by their alien accomplices, involving guys in carrot costumes. Perhaps they thought they were being funny with the costume use, but the movie is such a dud that it doesn't really matter how they really look - they might as well have been dressed as killer clowns or sunflowers. It is a bland movie packed with jokes best suited for the grand art of making strangers on the street groan while trying to make them be your friend. This film has no friend except for late night showings by people who like to loathe themselves for an hour or need something to be on when checking their phones or reading a book. In other words, the film sucks.

Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.