Cast:
John Hart (Dr. Stein), Ivory Stone (Dr. Winifred Walker), Joe De Sue (Eddie Turner), Roosevelt Jackson (Malcomb), Andrea King (Eleanor), Nick Bolin (Bruno Stragor), Karin Lind (Hospital Supervisor), Yvonne Robinson (Hospital Receptionist), Liz Renay (Blonde Murder Victim), and Don Brodie (Police Lieutenant) Directed by William A. Levey.
Review:
It is easy to say a film is bad, you know. But you really need to appreciate the interesting and good films by taking in some truly crappy fare from time to time, and if there ever was a genre that delivers such "palette cleansers", horror is the one to do it, especially because 500 words of saying a film sucks is better than 20. But at least there are some interesting stories to talk about when it comes to films that inspire, uh, nothing. The film was written and produced by criminal lawyer Frank R. Saletri in the only film he is credited with, although apparently, he had others in mind (lawyers getting into film, oh my). In 1982, Saletri was murdered at his residence in a crime that has apparently never been close to being solved. This was the film debut of director William A. Levey. Going from a film like this to something like Skatetown, U.S.A. (1979) is, well, a thing. As I'm sure you can guess, this was a film made to capitalize on the success of films such as Blacula (1972), although it is funny to mention that it managed to come out just a few weeks after the release of Scream Blacula Scream (1973) but this wasn't a particular box office hit. God only knows what kind of further films Saletri would have come up with. You might recognize that the electrical set from the original Frankenstein (1931), as designed by Kenneth Strickfaden, is present here. The film title actually goes by "Blackenstein the Black Frankenstein", while the film poster went with "Black Frankenstein". The fact that the film credits are run from bottom to top is the icing on the cake for amateur stuff.
Somehow, in an attempt to cash in on the success of such films like Blacula (1972), the filmmakers managed to make a film that would make a great pairing with Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1966) or Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)...to snooze with. It makes you appreciate the filmmaking methods of AIP, because at least they know the dangers of lingering on scenes for way longer than they need to be. The gobbleygook sci-fi stuff can't even make me catch my eyes from dozing, because it is coming in such a bland project that is telegraphed in painstaking fashion. Levey apparently served as editor and made a 78-minute film that might as well feel like 98, and the home video release apparently has an 87-minute version (only the theatrical version is the cleanly restored one, amusingly). Terrific. To make sense of the plot is simple: "Blackenstein" (a guy who had his limbs blown off but got the one VA attendant that gives him crap for going to Vietnam before getting this treatment) goes around killing people in the night while receiving injections in the day that takes as long for the doctors to figure out something is up (oh gee who could've switched the stuff out) as you think it would. Despite the lead doctor being a "Nobel Prize winner" in DNA genetic codes, he is either really foolish in his hiring practices or really, really, oblivious. Somewhere in all of this is a guy with a tiger-striped leg and an old woman receiving treatment to try and be younger. Did I mention our title character has a big fro and a black turtleneck to go with a lumpy head that looks like someone drunkenly drawing the Karloff makeup? Reportedly, Sue was cast because he was a client of the producer once and wanted to get into films. With a thankless role that might as well have been played with a burlap sack on his head, you might call it the least definable Frankenstein monster ever, and the fact that the only thing he does is kill folks (either related to revenge or not) seems apt for a film dedicated to make money. Even sleaze films with gore have the semblance of ideas, this one is just lousy as both a Frankenstein hack and as a cheapie. Now don't get me wrong, the cash grab can make some good entertainment, but one would have the same result in spending money to make this film by instead renting a bus to drive around the country while having your head stuck out the window yelling obscenities at nuns. On that note, that's a good place to say to avoid this one.
Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.
Next: The Mummy Returns.
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