Cast:
Neil Breen (Aaron Brand), Laura Hale (Megan), Mike Brady (Agent), Robert DiFrancesco (Agent), Bonnie Carmalt (Bride), George Kerr (Old Man), Maynard Mahler (Father), Rose Mahler (Mother), Marry Taylor (Senator), Alan Rogers (Director of the FBI), Huel Washington (Homeland Security Director), and Bill Frid (Director of the CIA) Written, Produced, and Directed by Neil Breen (#1767 - Fateful Findings)
Review:
I am sure you remember Neil Breen, the filmmaker of movies bad enough for the Internet to turn him into an offbeat folk hero who has released five films (soon to be six, as announced on his YouTube page last month) as director, writer, and star. All of his films have been made on an extremely low budget, going from being an architect and real-estate estate agent to filmmaker, with this film being shot around Nevada as the first of his feature film career. Granted, Fateful Findings (2013) is one he is most notable for when it comes to schlock enjoyment, but one really should consider starting at the beginning. Hell, judging from his Twitter account, members of the MENSA Institute are apparently fans of his films and invited him to speak at one of their meetings. How can you not have curiosity for a director that uses an AOL account for emails? The common theme for these films evidently deals with supernatural events, government conspiracies, and loneliness. As the credits state, Breen was the musical director, co-editor, production manager, casting agent, and the catering man, while there was no lighting, make-up or hair. A reminder: his current last film could be bought for over 20 bucks ($28.95 domestic, $39.95 international - no subtitles!), but you can't even buy this film online, unless one happens to find a good print on the Web. Breen's second film would be released in 2009 with I Am Here ... Now, which had Breen play a cybernetic deity.
I sometimes wonder if Breen (who was apparently in his mid 40s when making this film) is actually writing subliminal fan fiction of himself in the same way that Tom Laughlin did with his hacky Billy Jack movies. It is a vanity project of the weirdest order. Wrapped within conspiracies is a lead "hero" character in a movie filled with black-and-white morality. This is the kind of movie where a married couple targeted for death shoot themselves rather than get murdered by our lead hero, who in a later scene is seen putting his military medals on a denim vest (with a Purple Heart!). Hell, Breen is playing a guy that eats a lot of canned tuna and has a shield that keeps him safe while living in the middle of the desert, and he tests out anthrax by putting some of it in a lake with fish in it! You dwell on the weird stuff he does rather than the fact that this is a guy getting to play a hacker agent that is the most talented ever that can control computers with gloves that could hold governments hostage with biological bombs (as told to us in voiceover, which accompanies the whole movie). You could list a whole bunch of silly things: the first 18 minutes of a 93-minute movie pass before anyone besides Breen says a word, you get to see him talk to his parents in Heaven and possibly cure someone of cancer, a lady hired to distract a guy as a hooker, red Ferraris, slow montage of a man walking down a mountain to start the movie, I think you get the idea. The only way to watch this movie is by accepting the absurdity in all of its ironic form. I would rather watch five Neil Breen movies than five Alone in the Dark (2005) movies, so I guess that makes a recommendation: one star for Breen getting his start in making an indie hustle for the Internet to give attention to, and that is about it. He is the pinnacle of outside art, one who probably believes that we live in a simulation and enjoys making movies in a way that only he understands.
Overall, I give it 1 out of 10 stars.
Next Time: The Concorde...Airport '79.
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